Everyone at the Party Was Named Rene

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Contently Deranged Travelers
An account of a strange party attended by Bill Bizwald.

Submitted: June 20, 2017

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Submitted: June 20, 2017



Everyone at the Party Was a Rene

Bill Bizwald

As told to Robert Kasch


Rene Becker, my boss and friend, invited me over to his place for a small party and to meet his wife, also named Rene. I had always thought that odd as well as a potential for unlimited mix ups in the mail and such things.


Rene Becker, the Mrs., was charming and quite attractive. An opposite of her plain and awkward husband. I know that sounds mean but I like Rene, the Mr., but facts are facts.


As other guests arrived I was having a beer with another fellow and overheard introductions being made and at first thought it was a private joke or a really odds out coincidence. It seemed everyone was named Rene. Rene Thomas, Rene Collins and on and on.


My new drinking buddy finished his beer and was about to head to fetch two more when he turned and said, “ Sorry, bad manners, My name is Rene Gault and you?”


I just stared for a moment or two and blurted out, “ Rene Bizwald. Glad to meet you Rene.” What a weird thing I had walked into. Of course for those who do not know me my real name is Bill. I guess I didn’t want to be the only Bill in a room full of Renes.


I went about the next two hours enjoying myself as Rene Bizwald. A nice looking redhead named Rene laCrosse took a liking to me and I to her. Miss laCrosse was curious as to my name for some reason. Bizwald I mean.


“ That’s an uncommon last name isn’t it Rene?” She said, peering over her champagne glass in a flirting kind of way.


“ Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “ I have three ex wives who fancy it. That and the alimony.”


Rene laughed and told me she didn’t believe I had three ex wives and was only teasing. Actually I have four but that seems a bit much to let out all at once.


My luck was about to go south with Miss laCrosse when Rene from work came and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from her. He was smiling.


“ Bill, do you have a relative here? A Rene Bizwald. Everyone is talking about him. Seems to be a hit with the crowd.”


“ No. No Rene Bizwald I know. Just a wild chance I would have to guess.”


“ Yes I suppose but what are the odds of two Bizwalds here at the party?”


Rene walked away and I was able to catch up with Miss laCrosse who seemed pleased that I had. We decided to leave and go to her place and as we reached the door to leave, a woman I had never met grabbed my elbow and whispered: “ Before you leave could you possibly introduce me to Bill?”


Without having to ask her name I just told the new Rene that I myself had not met the fellow. This was followed by a quick exit.


I wondered along the drive to Rene’s why Bill Bizwald had been such a smash at the party. I had never introduced myself in any way other than my new alias. Strange. Of course not as strange as a random group of partiers with the same first name but strange.


I dated Rene laCrosse for two months and told her about my fourth ex. She didn’t mind at all. It was then I made the mistake to tell her I was Bill Bizwald and not Rene. She slapped me and began to cry.


“ You are a fraud and a horrible man. I wish I had met the other Bill Bizwald instead of you. DON'T call me.”


At work, Rene, my boss, was close to hostile with me and I ended up quitting after a month of abuse. It seemed that Rene laCross was best friends with his wife and the two of them had worked themselves into a frenzy over my deception. I thought the ‘Rene’ party had ruined me. I went through a bout of depression and suicidal thoughts were rampant. I even considered legally changing my first name to Rene in hopes of some redemption.


As it always happens with me in life things turned around for the better. I met a nice girl named Ann who happened to have a twin sister who was also named Ann. I wasn’t surprised in the least.





© Copyright 2017 Bob W. Kasch. All rights reserved.

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