here's to you

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 21, 2017

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Submitted: June 21, 2017

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Here's to you. Here is to you for being able to make me fall in love with you, believe every word you spoke, give you all my attention, defend your name in any situation, take you back numerous times, give you the love that you never gave me. Here is to you. We broke up and still remained in contact, mistake #1. You hurt and betrayed me, that's why we ended in the first place, but my heart couldn't let you go. So I held on and fought for you, but you never did the same. You used and took advantage of me. You knew I loved you with every fiber in me because that's who I am. I love with my all or with nothing at all. So we argued and you left again and you kept leaving and coming back. You took it as far as to tell me I was a talentless, stupid, idiotic, lame, trying to be whore that no one knew or cared about. Did you know how that made me feel? Did you know how hurt I was? Because I still had hope in you, in us. You claimed you only were in my life because you liked to laugh at me, which I didn't believe. I thought maybe you still cared. But you didnt, because you never did. You didn't see that you had someone who adored you. I learned things for you, I listened to everything you said, I removed friends for you, I even wrote an essay for you. But not once in the six months that we were a thing did you ever care to ask me how I was or if I was okay. The truth is, you lost someone who loved you,I just gained my self love back. I focused on you so much that I forgot that I needed love to. I assumed you were loving me but you weren't. You lied, broke every promise, made me feel like trash about things that made absolutely no sense. So you and only you are to blame when the day comes when you realize not only the pain you caused me, but the fact that while you're alone, you only have yourself to blame. So thank you. Thank you for the nights I cried myself to sleep. Thank you for all the lies you told me. Thank you for the friendships I gave up because I thought you and I were "a forever kind of thing". Thank you for ruining my confidence. Thank you for making me feel like dying. Thank you because all of these experiences made me only stronger. I loved and you lossed. That's what it comes down to. No matter how many girls you get, no matter what you say to me, no matter what you do to try to forget me, we both know I'm always gonna be there in your mind. Because for once in your life, you felt loved. I loved you and you felt it and God it made you happy. So thank you for making me sink so low because now I'm rising back up once again.


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