The Boys

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 21, 2017

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Submitted: June 21, 2017

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Generally, at any one time I can name three dudes who want to fuck me.

And no, I’m not bragging
And no, I am not appreciative.

They all hit me up;
Boo, baby, gorgeous, doll, sweetie
Hollow words worn down from hollow repetition in the hopes of a hollow nightly experience
And I am the new potential contender

They whisper sweet nothings, and they mean sweet nothing,
And they pick away at the wall of fear and self-doubt until they are stood with me
Finally touching the girl they thought they wanted but now surrounded by the rubble and mess of a lifetime of self-preservation.

The first time I felt hands where I shouldn’t I hadn’t even hit puberty
I took my anger out on my father; with distance, and broken trust, and on myself with drugs, and alcohol, and my mother’s missing razor blades.
I was twelve, and I had trusted him.

The second time I was assaulted I was still barely an adult.
I took it out on my boyfriend with distance, flinching, begging him to leave me and find someone who hadn’t been bruised and torn down by selfish hands.
He had been my friend, and I had trusted him.

They moved on with their lives, unaware of their wrongs,
And I knew nothing about how to be loved other than by using my body.

Boo, baby, gorgeous, doll, sweetie, hoe, bitch, drunk, slut, asking for it, pussy, side piece

I’m not bragging.
I’m not appreciative.

 


© Copyright 2017 Maesi Alis. All rights reserved.

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