Eye Spy

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Every word spoken and every action plays back without the love.

Submitted: June 25, 2017

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Submitted: June 25, 2017

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Pictures of plenty running through my rear view as I try to put the pieces of the puzzles together. My vision is clearer, but only brings more pain to my heart when I notice the wars between family, friends, and neighbors. I can't ingore the pointless insults they try to keep to themselves. I'm constantly drinking Heinekens and smoking nicotine in massive amounts to help hide the pain. The preacher refused to have hold a conversation with me, so I rode out the same day with my mind made up telling myself this is a living hell for God's children. Nobody thought I would make it, yet my talent seems to attract the same ones that told me to stay in my place where not many wanted to help me on my come up. I can't stress the hard times I've been through up until this point because times are still rough, but the that's not a good enough reason for me to stop moving forward. My truest thoughts made those I was once held a special place in my home for push me further from their everyday lives as if I never sipped off the same cup as them, and shared my golden thoughts with them at 3 in the morning. There's no changing the past and time can't be adjusted to make the future change for the better. I never apologized to any for not praying for better days when the nights got colder on my heart, and the weight on my shoulders became heavier yet I held my own to come out stronger than I was the day before. I remember pushing the Lincoln, now I'm planning to come up on my Beamer which is only a dream that was used to test to see where the faith in me was when I brought it up to anyone. The comments were ridiculous, and even though I didn't care much for opinions I still layed down that night amazed at the those critics. Pay attention to that one gesture, and notice the critism continuously attacking not only me but others they claim to be close to as well. My momma once said "beware of the people you kick it with, tomorrow won't be promised if you trust everybody with your life". It opened my eyes when she and my pops left me.

I can't help but hustle for pennies because I have to eat. I watched my friends go dead broke hugging their stomachs tight trying understand why the world had us under like this. The world don't care about the kids while they murdered so many on each block in all 4 corners of town I stayed on. Trying to find a easier way to make a dollar I recall a conversation with the neighborhood drug lord as he negotiated with a junkie in front of the church who minutes later came back through popping shots in the drive way, cutting our convo about life short. The last words he mentioned were "the world too doped up and drunk to see the stars". I remember begging God not to make kids lives too hard watching older men kick down their doors demanding some jewlery and some change while ending the life of the kid's momma. There's no saving the world, but I do manage to bring about change everywhere I go in order to avoid seeing those pictures of hell become someone else's reality. A lot of lessons I picked up on my own such as learning to not trust any bitch from a prostitute. Yes, it seems when money is involved today paying to get to her in bed is very popular. I lived the life of a hustler becuase I had to play my hand, so forgive me for my mistakes. I can't hold my tears when I see my brothers burning in the jail cells, and murdered by some pigs in blue on camera. No direspect to my parents, but papa was a joke as I watched the man find dope for his coke, and choke before he told me not to smoke. I can still hear the screams for God hit my conscious when I got the call of his status being brain dead. The day before they pulled the plug I hugged him, I wish he could've hugged me back but he was already in the afterlife.

I know I'll live forever just based on my soul. Living day to day like I'm God made my life a lot more valuable in my eyes as I have more passion for life. I peeped the game where money rules the world and women make the world go around. I have a new found passion for other interests in life where I can be the center of attention making my he rest of my dreams come true. A lot of people are scared people change when they get more money in their pockets. Honestly I wouldn't care what anyone had to say. I would know for a fact I wouldnt be "rich" in the sense that it seems like money is in abundance. People would have to consider the lawyers, court cases, and LBB (Living being black) becuase we should how it is when a black man has a substantial amount of money what most likely can come next. As for my sister's of every race and ethnicity, I ain't for forget y'all. I got nothing but love for y'all. Even though a few of y'all broke my heart ain't no sense in bringing about any disrespect for the rest of y'all. I'll stand with every woman defending their honor because you should always feel comfortable, and should be able to choose the place you want in life without the hassle. I know it's hard out here for my brothers as well with the murders, car jackings, and police. I'll still be here representing the perfect picture of a King that stands tall for firm for the freedom and love everyone in this world deserves. I know it's pimps, wanna be thugs, and crooks with books; but in the end we know "stupid people" don't live long. Rest assure we'll be good because with the time we have now will come opportunity to build this bond tight taking care of our own communities instead of waiting on miracles. We'll be the saviors our kids be wishing upon a star and praying on. I love y'all !

 

sincerely, Eric L.


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