Wizard Annoyance

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a update and continuation to a previous story about a certain wizard, now named Whyzan. (Why Zan).

Submitted: June 26, 2017

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Submitted: June 26, 2017



Once upon a time in the long, long, ago there was a wizard named Whyzan.

Now this wizard lived in a place where local people did not visit very often, mainly because they were afraid of the Wizard. And it did not help matters knowing that the Wizard lived near a Mountain that was haunted by all sorts of deceptive and menacing spirits.

The mountain's towering slops overshadowed Wahzan's modest, but strange looking, cottage.

Wahzan was not an evil wizard, as far as wizards go, but he did have his moments of intolerance.

There is this one particular story that is told and it might demonstrate what I mean:

{One day the Wizard was walking by a certain village when a young woman called to him, “We are without meat old man, why don't you use your magic and make some for us?” Then she and her friend began laughing.

The day had not been a good one for the wizard and he was already in a testy mood, so when she spoke to him that way it kind of set him off.

So, within the blink of an eye the Wizard raised his wand and pointed it at the village cow; which fell to the ground as if in slow-motion.

“There, now you have the meat,? said the Wizard, and then he continued on his way.

Well, the story continues by saying that the young woman was beside herself with anger. She rightly felt that the rest of the villagers would surly blame her for mocking the Wizard and thereby causing the death of the cow. So she chased after the Wizard; with some of her friends and other villagers following close behind.

Apparently, and so the story goes, when the woman caught up to the Wizard she did not apologize, instead, she yelled at him indignantly, “You have killed the village cow and now we have no milk for the children.”

That is when Whyzon replied, “You cannot have something for nothing, woman, food comes by way of food and not from thin air!

So what is it that you want, milk or meat?” the Wizard questioned as he turned towards the demanding woman.

They say that the woman looked him right in the eyes and said, “Both, you stupid old man!”

Now, the story continues by saying that the wizard just smiled and said, “As you wish My Lady.” Then he continued on his way.

That is when the villagers were astonished to see a cow standing in front of them, right where the woman had stood.}

Now there is a lengthier version of this story that explains that Whyzan was not such a bad guy after all. In that version we are told that the cow was never really dead, just under a sleeping-spell that wore-off soon afterward.

And as far as the woman was concerned, she remained a cow long enough to teach her a lasting lesson about humility. Being milked by everyone in the community was a very humbling experience, to say the least.

None the less, no one knows if the story is true, but no one wants to test the wizard's patience either; so they just stay clear of him whenever possible.


Now, it just so happened that on a marvelous Monday morning a stranger happened by the Wizard's cottage and when he saw the cottage he thought, "What an odd looking cottage. And being that I, a professor of  Habits and Happenstance from Konkahnoggen University, should investigate. After all, the knowing might be beneficial to my superior knowledge library."

"Hmm," thought the professor, "I will investigate the inhabitants with the help of a Ruse. I will say that I need water from their well; that should do it."


Upon reaching the cottage door the Professor saw a very large and very colorful parrot perched nearby. "Hmm, a bird by the door, another oddity," he thought, "I will have to register that; --- Done."

Just as the Professor reached for the door knocker, which looked like the parrot, the parrot screeched and said, "SOMEBODY'S AT THE DOOR!"

The Professor was very startled at first. Then he was amused and filled with laughter as he said, "Another oddity noted and recorded, --- Done!"

At that moment the door opened, ever so slightly, and a voice inquired, "Who are you and why do you come? --- If it's something you sell then I do not need one; --- Go away!"

"Oh I am not selling anything.

I am Professor Snoopious Inquisitorous, but you may call me Professor Snoops, and I am on a mission for knowledge and understanding.

I stopped here for some water from your well, but after seeing your front door and the bird, well, perhaps I could have a moment of your time."

"You are a professor, that part is true. But you did not stop for water and I do not condone untruths. So go away!" said the voice from within.

Snoops stated, "My God! You have the Third Eye of the Seer. I have never met anyone with such a capability before. I simply must interview you for my superior knowledge library."

The voice from beyond the door replied, "What part of --- Go Away --- do you not understand?

I do not want to be interviewed, so go away before I turn you into something that you do not want to be!"

The Professor thought for a moment and replied, "Turn me into something, turn me into something? That explains the Third Eye. You must be a Warlock or a Wizard, am I correct?"

Yes, I am very busy Wizard that is growing increasingly annoyed with your persistent questions. --- Now go away!"

"But I simply must know all about being a Wizard," Snoops replied, "I am writing a novel about the Dark Arts. It is all very Hush, Hush until the Books debut."

The voice within the cottage replied, "You haven't even stated this so called novel and what I can see of your future, it will never be written."

The Professor grew flush with anger! He forced the door open to confront his accuser, and then said, "You have offended me Sir! Apologize or else!"



A few days later came another rare visit to the cottage; it was the King's census taker. And as he reached for the door knocker, TWO Parrots screeched and said, "SOMEBODY'S AT THE DOOR!"



D. Thurmond / JEF  ---  06-25-2017

© Copyright 2019 D. Thurmond, aka, JEF. All rights reserved.

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