Dear You

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
PROMPT: If you could go back in time to send one letter, what would it say?

Part 3 of my True Confessions series.

Submitted: June 26, 2017

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Submitted: June 26, 2017

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Dear You,

It's 5 AM and my eyes are shut but I can still see the imprint of your face against my eyelids.

Falling for you was a gradual; ongoing process- a thousand little moments of 'you are everything I never knew I always wanted' until loving you no longer surprised me, until loving you stopped being a choice- until loving you became one of the irrefutable facts of my universe:

Grass will always be green

2+2 will always be 4

You will always be the love of my life.

As simple as that.

It occurs to me now that I never should have been taken aback by my feelings- how could I not have fallen for you?

How could I not have when the curve of your smile makes mine even wider-

-when making you laugh feels like winning the lottery-

 -when so much as the brush of your arm against mine sends nerve signals shooting across my body conveying the same message over and over again: it's you, it's you; it's always been you.

How could I not have when loving you makes me into a storm

- a maelstrom of joy and pain and heartache and heart's ease that only you can bring out of me

- when you are both the solution and cause to all the problems that I face.

How could I not have when merely the sound of your voice has the power to make my world stand still

-when the sound of your name feels like the sound of my heart.

No, it shouldn't have surprised me at all.

 

There was never a single moment where I realized I fell in love with you, rather a hundred moments everyday finding me more and more reasons to call you it.

Call you my only. 

You see, you could take the pieces of my heart and crush them into powder- and they would still be yours.

You could break me into a thousand different shards and each one of them would still find a million reasons to love you.

You are as much a part of me as the air in my lungs-

I do not know how to find the right words to tell you how utterly, devastatingly; incredible you are- your kindness, your generosity, your unfailing ability to have such a giving, gentle, beautifully open heart despite the cruelty life has given you-

You make me believe that there is beauty to be found in this hideous world.

You make me want to be a better person just so I can have the honor of being at least a little like you.

I am nothing but a patchwork of scars and blood and tears; but nevertheless I weave together to tether myself to you-

You are my lifeline amidst a sea of deadweight.

I pray I can make you see how worthy you are of everything you feel you have no right to have- you are deserving of all the love, happiness, luck, success and brilliance life has to offer -

I wish to possess the courage to tell you all this someday—to have the courage to tell you that I am yours, that I always have been—that your heart is the single most precious object in the universe.

The words come undone in my mouth when I look at you, coward that I am—someday though.

Someday I will tell you exactly how much you mean to me.

Until then: I love you.

To whatever end.

Sincerely,

Me

~ There is a reason love is always compared to fire, to burning--because someday never came, and these words have turned to ash in my mouth. 

 

 


© Copyright 2017 Trishala. All rights reserved.

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