Roger Klump's War Diary

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: June 27, 2017

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Submitted: June 27, 2017

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“You ready for taking off?” asked a wheezy voice through the intercom. “Always!” Captain Klump replied with absolute confidence. You see, there are certain words used to communicate through air bases and towers. Pilots have to remember these words but being the clumsiest person on earth, Roger didn’t know them. Kind of hard to believe since he is a captain and has his own platoon. You will begin to believe me when I tell that he can’t even spell his name. But despite his low understanding of words or letters for that matter, he took off. “Office commands for bombs to be thrown at the village, Roger?” This is a jargon term meaning words used to express something in a particular industry. Here the word roger was used under the definition of receiving that message or not. Not to be confused with the foolish captain’s name, Roger. Again, the captain took this message in a different way and responded with “WHAT!”. The speaker announces the command again. “Why do you keep on saying my name?” he said. “I am not saying your name, I am asking if you got the message or not.” the speaker replied with an attitude. “You are a disgrace to the US government. A total disgrace! You should have never come to war.” He continued. Roger replied with a confused reply that nobody would expect. “I know, I know. I heard you the second time and when my mom gave me the T-shirt.” He furiously pulled the wire out of the helmet and then realized he wasn’t wearing one. He tried to climb by opening the windshield and realizing that there isn’t one. A tennis nudged him as he came out. “Here you go, be safe,” he said while throwing the ball back to Serena Williams who was standing at the edge of the left wing. “Mind if I jump?” said Rodger. Serena had a what-did-you-say-can’t-hear-you, look on her face. He said, “I said ‘Mind if I…”. Those were the words he said before he fell into the empty abyss below the wing. It took him hours to fall but thankfully, it only a few words for us. He didn’t realize he was close to the ground until he actually fell into some liquid. He was fully wet and as he opened his eyes, he got a hint of where he was. And he did not like it.

 
-Tim Pseudo


© Copyright 2017 Tim Pseudo. All rights reserved.

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