Crazed

Reads: 47  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 1

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
You think you know someone... maybe you don't?

Submitted: June 27, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 27, 2017

A A A

A A A


Tall. Blue eyes. Gorgeous locks.

Dream body.

And the way words spill from his lips.

Honestly, too good to be true.

 

Sweet. Hella smart. And (yes, there's more!) he liked me.

SWOON.

 

Things were great on the down low.

Flirty stares passed back and forth.

Something there?

I hoped so...

 

The annoying friend always in the way

Immature, Loud, Strange Vibes

No one cares about your ex, fuck twad

No, I don't want to see her in sexy lingerie

No, I don't want to see those scars on your back

From sex? Fat chance.

I need a drink.

Better yet, let me burn my eyes with fire.

Then suffer some amnesia.

Ugh.

 

He was waiting for my answer

Waiting for me to say yes

Definitely worth my time –

Everything in common

Plus side?

I didn't hate him

Like most everyone else

 

Not perfect

Not a match made in heaven

But my kind of perfect

Where kind of fun would we have?

What kind of trouble would we get into?

 

A ninja in love

No one knew the secret romance

Blossoming slowly, beautifully

Innocent texts and snaps till late at night

 

Him

Generally thoughtful

Occasionally scatterbrained

Or just a flake

I could deal with the flaws.

So long as he accepted mine.

 

Inconspicuous meetups

Coffee breaks

"I have a meeting with HR"

 

Being around him

Was like a high

The occasional brush of his arm

Intertwining fingers

A certain closeness between us

We saw the world in the same light

 

But that friend

I was ninja dating

And I couldn't say anything

The friend would get mad

If he knew he hadn't been chosen

 

Basically the plot of every movie, ever

Two friends fall in love with a girl

Girl chooses guy 1

Dates secretly.

Guy 2 finds out.

Door 1: Guy gets angry, throws a fit, they all make up

Door 2: Guy gets angry, goes crazy, bloodbath occurs

 

You know

Bloodcurdling screams

Chainsaws

Wonderful newspaper headlines for tomorrow

 

This friend?

Door#2

My choice?

Continue ninja dating

And thwart all other flirting

Easier said than done

 

The friend hit on me

I tried to play hard to get

He never really 'got the memo'

Temper tantrums for any reason

Not his choice of restaurant?

Hissy fit

Didn't return a gift he thought was a loan?

Hissy fit

Danced with a random guy at the club?

You guess.

 

Forget the friend

I wanted time alone with him

Tearing me apart – this secret

Was it doing the same to him?

I didn't know.

I couldn't read him.

 

And there it was.

The one kink in the relationship

Sure no one knew

But it was still a relationship

 

On paper

He was amazing

Everything you could ask for

Minus a few hiccups

But that's what made him human

Yet, someone forgot to add the emotional connection

The hardwiring had been fucked with

And I couldn't read him

 

It terrified me

 

The man I think I loved

A complete robot

What did he feel about this 'thing' we shared

How did he feel about me?

No idea.

 

Ninja dating?

Fuck that

More like...

Terrified

 

"What are we doing here?"

His question. Not mine

Routinely asked after something happens

Like, when someone cheats

I didn't.

I don't know how I lost his trust.

Maybe I did something?

I'll just reassure him.

 

"We're dating."

Maybe that would help.

He smiles

But it's not the warm one

I can't read him anymore

I don't know what that smile means

But I know it doesn't mean happiness.

He doesn't believe me.

But why?

What changed?

 

The questions didn't stop after that night

More came.

'What are we doing here?'

Turned into

'Who else is there?'

 

How do you answer a question that has no answer?

Who else?

No one.

There was only him.

Did he have someone else?

Was this a ploy to break up?

 

Where were these questions coming from?

Maybe the problem was within?

Soul searching was a must

But I didn't know where to start

These accusations were crazy.

 

The questions –

What they were truly asking for –

He didn't trust me

He didn't believe me

But the worst?

He thought I was a liar

A cheater

slut

What had I done?

 

One moment holding hands

Or my head against his neck as we sat on the park bench

Smiles. Happy ones

And then – he'd pull away

Cold, distant

Smile vanished

 

I'm worried.

A crazed look in his eyes as he searches mine

'Who is he?'

As if I had some man on the side

But there was no one else

There was no proof

Accusations from thin air

And he believed them

 

How could I compete with his twisted ideas?

 

Who was this guy?

Who was he really?

Butterflies and rainbows?

Fuck that

 

Relationships were terrifying

But this?

A whole different track

Horror romance

I didn't like this genre.

 

And... the friend was back.

With lies.

Was this a trick?

I could pretend that the lies didn't hurt me

But he believed them.

 

I felt attacked

I refused to be a part of this path any longer

"It's over."

But that crazed look was still there

It wouldn't go away despite reassurance

Deep down, it's still there

 

Never ninja dating again

I fear for the next girl who falls for the charms

The attractiveness and the sweet words

I fear that there's a monster lurking

Just beneath the shadows

Disguised as romance

It's not romance

And it goes way beyond jealousy

 

Those gorgeous blue eyes are catchy

But they can be just as icy cold

Raging with blue fire

Demanding answers to questions

That leave you baffled

Unable to fathom the dark turns

And him all the more distrusting of actions you've never taken


© Copyright 2017 D. Nic. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

More True Confessions Poems

Booksie 2017-2018 Short Story Contest

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by D. Nic

Mind Butter and Crazy Fuck

Book / Mystery and Crime

Think Twice

Poem / True Confessions

Popular Tags