Innocent In My Mothers Eyes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
Young Male living in East London watching his mother struggle and wanting to provide for his family however hanging around with bad company has a major influence on who you become even though your mother raised you right.

Submitted: June 28, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 28, 2017



Innocent in my Mothers Eyes


If only he knew that the life he was living wasn’t worth it. He reached for the filthy and discoloured sock at the bottom of his chest draw, the one with the Arsenal logo which he had received from his Mother last year for his 13th birthday. Slowly he unwrapped the sock and just when he was about to pull out the heavy object which was hidden inside, his mother yelled ‘Hashim you’re getting late for school ‘cursing him and swearing at him in Punjabi as she normally would when he wouldn’t listen.

Hashims Parents originated from Pakistan however Hashims father died of Cancer two years ago which dug a deep hole in Hashims heart. Hashim was raised in East London, a small town called Leytonstone. It wasn’t the best of places, they lived in a small estate. His mother had to work two jobs just to get by and pay the bills on time. He was a cheeky character however since his father’s death he had become quite reserved as if he blamed everyone for his father’s loss. His mother always saw the best in him regardless of how many times his teachers would phone home complaining about his cheeky comments

‘” Late again Hashim need to have a word with your mother” Sighed his form teacher.

“Sir his about that life “Shouted Louis at the back of the class as he rocked his chair back and forth.

Louis and Hashim knew each other since Primary school and had both lived in Leytonstone a few roads apart from each other all their lives. The beginning of their childhood was spent playing football after Hashim finished Mosque. Louis would wait for him outside the Leisure centre where the park was located. Every day they would kick a football around and practice for consecutive hours. Both were talented individuals however bath easily influenced.

The Lunch time bell rang

“Bye sir im gone “said Louis as he touched Rebecca’s bum and ran into the playground.

As Hashim made his way to the enormous thick, muddy football pitch located underneath the arches he approached Louis and said

“Bro I wish I could move my mother out the endz but not in this way” speaking slang as normal teenagers would growing up in London.

Louis looked at his older brother Renzo with a confused look and both touched fists and laughed enthusiastically as Louis normally would in front of his brother.

Louis older brother was a popular drug dealer, everyone knew him as the supplier. Anything you needed he could get. You could say Louis wanted to be like his older brother but didn’t have the brains just had the mouth.

“This is where you start from then you start making more money as you get higher in the game” Laughed Renzo as he was fixing his hat on his head and gripping onto his drink , staring at the new girl who caught his eye.

“Do your ting” whispered Hashim to Renzo as he was taking his phone out slyly about to record the moment”

“Yo babes, the names Renzo let me show you around “smirked Renzo “

His cotton Candy words did not appeal to her taste, her eyes were fireflies.

“Firstly my name aint babes and secondly I can take a look around for myself”

The playground was lifeless, never had Renzo been put in such a situation in front of the whole school. Renzo smiled as he faced Rebecca, leaning back with one hand against Hashim and eyeing up Rebecca under the rim of his hat as he took a sip of the Dr Pepper in his left hand.


Rebecca was beautiful. She had a pale light skin tone and thick, wavy hair that had yet to see a strand of Gray, she was very pretty. Stunning, especially in the proud way she carried herself hence why she was always at the centre of attention.


“We got business to do “muttered Renzo under his breath as he walked away grabbing Hashim aggressively from the arms “

“Oi don’t let him grab you like that “Rebecca yelled

Hashim turned around and blushed, he tried to stop the redness that appeared just above his cheeks. This was the first time Rebecca and Hashim had ever made eye contact.

Hashim had always cared about his appearance. His hair spiked up every inch of facial hair shaved off, and he was well mannered as his mother had taught him to respect women at all times. The lunch time bell rang repeatedly and the teacher on duty yelled for everyone to get back into lesson.

Renzo angrily whispered to Hashim “link me at the park after school we’ll talk then”


The day melted away like a snowflake. Hashims mother always called him after work to make sure he got home safe as she was aware of the local gang rivalries which had caused many deaths in the past year. She always left him food in the microwave with a cold glass of milk beside it however on this occasion Hashims mother did not know he would be bringing over a friend.

Hashim had changed the plan and sent a text message to Renzo asking him to come round his house instead of meeting at the local park as his mother was at work. He ran home faster than a speeding bullet, breathless. The house keys rattled as he opened his front door.

“Excuse me “Shouted a deep mellow voice behind Hashim who felt a sudden sense of fear through his nerves like the chill of an icy wind.

“Yeah whats up?” said Hashim in an anxious unconfident muttered voice.

“What way is the shopping centre Westfield” said the tall male who’s hair was long, tangled and greasy. You could see his blood shot red eyes. There was hardly any colour on his face. He had white Air maxes on as if he had just purchased them. His smile the clicker of light across a blade.

“Take a left and catch the tube two stops down “responded Hashim as he left his drive way and showed the male directions.


As Hashim returned to his door he felt like something wasn’t right but could not quite figure what it was. Knowing Renzo was going to come over and his mother was due home in an hour he pushed the thought to the back of his head and closed the front door behind him.

He ran upstairs and felt an envious wind creeping past his hair likean unwelcomed thought, the window was open as his mother would always complain that his room smelt revolting. Hashim pulled out the sock and slowly took out the metal steel object which Renzo gave him to look after.

The metal from the barrel glinted brightly into his eyes like a light at the end of a tunnel.

“Police, Police get down on the floor “barked the officer from the top off his voice.


Hashim turned around in utter shock, heart pounding as if he was re living his father’s death all over again. Hashim recognised the police officer he was the same individual who was asking for directions but how did he enter the property ? Suddenly Hashim put his hand in his pocket looking for his keys and realised the keys had been taken from the lock when he was giving directions.

“I was holding it for a friend it’s not mine “squeaked Hashim as his face poured down like sweat.

“We have evidence this belongs to you, you are arrested on the suspicion of the murder of Anthony Matthews…”

“I didn’t kill him I didn’t do anything I just sold weed once im sick and tired of my mother working hard I just wanted to give her something back ,  it was only once I promise “cried Hashim Whos life was crashing down on him like a tumble of bricks.

He led away by a strong muscular police officer who was probably planning nothing more than what dount he would have later in the morning.

“Hash my darling whats happened ? Are you hurt?  “Howled a voice from the distance in Punjabi

A figure running towards the police car which Hashim was about to enter.

It was Hashims mother.

“ Mum it will be ok I didn’t do anything please believe me “ Whimpered Hashim as he was pushed aggressively inside by the police officer who looked as if he had a grudge against Hashim.

A few days later Hashim was released however little did he know that his Mother had been sacked from both jobs as the rumour spread round that she had raised a murderer. Not being able to handle the pressure she drank bleach and was found dead in her bathroom by a neighbour who was checking up on her and could not see any movement in the house for a few days.

Renzo was behind the murder of Anthony in a dispute over a girl and was charged with murder. Some would say Renzo would have done the same to Hashim over Rebecca.  No one knew Rebecca was put in the school for a secret operation which gained the police department vital information of catching Renzo. Sone would believe that Rebecca knew that Hashim hang around with Renzo and had no other choice but to report him.

A decade went by and Hashim dedicated his life to young vulnerable teenagers in gangs. Still scarred by his mother’s death as he blamed himself. Certain times of the day he would harm himself just to take the pain away.

Guess it’s a lesson we all learn…just for her son’s actions a mother felt the need to kill herself…ask yourself if it’s worth it…


© Copyright 2018 Nasir Monir. All rights reserved.

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