Never Ending Search

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
We have the option to keep trying, or move onto a new hobby.

Submitted: June 29, 2017

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Submitted: June 29, 2017

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This Summer I want the dreams of love to be reality. However, this time of the year brings light tear drops and bountiful sundresses. The beginning of June brought about rumbling thunder, followed by dark clouds as thick as the peanut butter sandwhiches we used to make back when Grandma's foodstamps brought us life at the beginning of each month. That's not the case this time as I choose to take you out on a picnic under a pravilian just to watch the endless raindrops flood the soccer field. The countless pictures my phone has saved makes picking on our childhood "wooow, nooo" a bit more easier when i refer to them whenever the thunder startles you. As i think about them now, they're just memories i can't see anymore since that gallery became obsolete when the heart break came. It's funny when i noticed one thing about everyone, "Everyone dreams and prepares for a wonderful life together forever, but no one prepares for the end."

Waking up in the morning seeing nothing but the bright sunlight beaming through every opening in the house is a cinstant reminder a long day is ahead of us. I wish i could just wake up drink a fifth of Hennessy, and shortly after take nap to wake up again feeling a little more prepared to deal with this life i lead. After some reconsideration of if i should or not a good friend of mine calls rumbling about the events that took place the night before as if i even remember a quarter of what she's saying. However, snap chats don't lie haha. It's close to July and the nagging continues until i get up for work. Around lunch time friends and family pop the questions asking me will i ever change? I tell them yeah, but its clear i'll always be the same. What more can i say than i just want to live day to day having fun with little to no stress about if my girl goes to the club with her friends, or what's my next 5-star meal going to be for the night. Sure finding a new lover is a good idea, but i'd rather enjoy my youth with others like me. 

I enjoy kicking back after work with a well rolled blunt to relax my imagination from the messages and calls of wasteful concerning. I can't help but just do my thing if you know what i mean. The first puff releases the tension in my hands, so the phone slips inbetween the cushions. Then the second puff puts a mental picture of myself as my therapist on the couch next to me asking me is all that stuff really worth stressing over? My answer is simple as no, then the third puff takes place. This is when i come to the realization that the day isn't over and Summer is still very much alive, and so am i. I get up, head to the kitchen to make dinner while collecting my thoughts. Before i enjoy the finished projects, i check my Time Line for parties, where i'll be enjoying my night with people that just want to enkoy life just as i do, while being responsible enough to remember work in the mornings is what keeps us with the advantage of enjoying the money in our wallets and purses. Though i meet many women who share similar interests as me. The thunderstorm picnics with the one that broke my heart doesn't completely fade from memory when I'm sober, so i find living in the moment and doing my thing is what truely makes me happy.


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