My Darkest Hours

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Literary Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I know who I want to be and what I want to do. My internal compass is the darkest of depression that is growing with the eternal flame of fear. After all the purpose of the art of writing may very well be to bring people together in the best and the worst of times.

Submitted: June 30, 2017

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Submitted: June 30, 2017

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You tried so hard to overtake me; you hang to my ankles and drag me down to my emotional death.  You ravage and steal my strength and my life.  You devour my joys.  You robbed me of my trust and dignity turning my insides from darkness to hate. 
 
I am stuck because you made my phobia for success grow; you made me feel like getting to my next level of success was all a charade. 
 
Because I was immersed in my pity and self-centered self, I allowed you to creep around my space and my life like a fucking cancer.  You took over my mind becoming my only driving force.
 
You created in me a nasty phobia to the uncharted territory of love. I allowed you to smear pride in my mind; I allowed you to re-build my insecurities and like a criminal you handcuffed me to doubts. How did you make it possible to damage me so bad emotionally, that I feel that I can't love again?  
 
You had me chasing things that did not matter, you surrounded me by toxic people and dark feelings that would protect me but also drown me in shame of my perfect human imperfection.
 
You terribly blinded me with the possibility of smothered hopes and dreams. You gave me all the tools I needed to fail.
 
Well done, I’ll give you that. I know that I’ve used you for quite some time. You protected me in a sick sort of way. I used you as my shield.  The reality of it is… it seems to me that you failed.
 
Do you hear me depression? Do you understand me fear?  
 
As deadly as you are, your intent to kill me is over.  
 
My soul?
 
My soul is not yours to take.


© Copyright 2017 Nani TC (ILatina). All rights reserved.

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