Effigenia

hullabaloo22

A very intense read, Simon. The short sentences really add to the sense of horror, conveying a real sense of disbelief and a feeling of betrayal. You know I think your work is great -- this is no exception!

The Eldritch Author

This was good. There's a sense of both urgency and hopelessness in the narration, perfect for what's happening. The page structure plays well into that as well. So far, so good. I look forward to reading more.

Mark Reece Healey

Very dark, but intense. It is expressive in poetic form which I like.

Reagle

Quite an intense piece of writing. Stream-of-consciousness. Not often used, but effective and comes across as very up-close and personal. Makes the whole piece read uncomfortably. Great work!

C A Sechler

This hooked me in and I can't wait to continue reading! I have to see what happens next!

Ethan Howard

I decided I wouldn't wait to read this.

A very unique way to start the story. Your descriptions put me in that room with the girl. And the fact that it was told from victim's point of view made it even more tense.

I'm late to the party, so you may have heard this before: the build up style is very Hitchcockian. You brought things to a crescendo and then dropped the bottom out with......."Then nothing." That ending forces the reader to see what happens next.

Well done & keep up the darkness.

I'm putting this on my binge read list and I will comment as I go along.

T. E. Jackson

So, I've realized I've not read much of your work, Simon, and I've decided to change that. I thought it best to start with this novel, as I think I remember you mentioning in the forums before. Regardless, very grabbing beginning. The sense of urgency and horror felt by our main character was incredibly tangible; I could imagine myself standing amongst the crowd, looking on - in what I would personally feel - horror and disgust. Something that our side character, Amari, also seems to be experiencing. The short sentences, as others have noted, really pushes through the sense of emergency and desperation, but they also are remarkable. Despite their short length and rushed pace, they lack absolutely nothing, so fantastic job on that. I'm eager to see what happens next and I think I might just hop on to the next chapter. So, Je fais mes adieux. I'm off.

T.M/I.K

Holy crap, that was intense. You perfectly captured her chaotic train of thought; exactly how someone who is afraid would be thinking. Sent chills down my spine. And it left me with a bunch of questions. How did she even get there? Why is she being sacrificed? What kind of demon-worshippers are these priests around her? Seriously, what is going on?
I swear, this has got to be the best introduction to a story ever. No information whatsoever, no backstory, just pure action to grab you and not let you go. Amazing.
Moving on to the writing itself; it was fantastic. Clear, concise and simple, it flowed perfectly with the first person POV as well as the atmosphere. You have a firm grasp on narrative and have used your skill to show the emotion behind what is going on, instead of telling us. Fantastic job, and I hope to read more soon.
With love, Thea and Ivy :)

Keke Serene

Hi!
So first, did a quick google of your title: correct me if I'm wrong that you intend 'born.'
I try to stay away from difficult titles in other languages/Latin, as usually they're difficult on the inner ear reading or difficult to pronounce on the tongue. How do you pronounce the title? Google couldn't help me with this.
I'm very much interested in whether any Greek mythology will be incorporated in this story. 'Amari' is my only hint at any time or place and I'm colored quite curious.
As far as what's actually written here, I do wonder what themes will surface from a fiery start- a phoenix, maybe? But that Armageddon reference from google got me a bit perturbed. Maybe we'll be whisked to the afterlife, or the end of the world- or the past to how this poor soul got on the altar.
I find the description of the preistess hilarious- horrific bitch, so maybe off that language this isn't Ancient Greece. lol
I like this, though. You definitely get a sense of shock and panic for this poor soul.
I found the 'I am going to burn alive,' a bit redundant as we as readers very well know what's about to happen.
Otherwise, an enticing first chapter!
On to chapter two.