Sorry Satan, I'm Awkward

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 02, 2017

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Submitted: July 02, 2017



I died. It wasn't really an elegant thing, I mean it was quite messy and unexpected... but I died. 

For most people that doesn't sound like a huge problem... once your dead its over and you don't need to worry anymore. Wrong. I went to Hell. Do you know how many people I know in Hell? One! Satan himself. Here I was trailing behind the Devil while he threw petty insults at me. 

"You're a murderer, Casey! You KILL people! What do you mean you can't go in there? It's scary, how scary? It's not even scary I just want you to go talk to someone else!' he yells. 

'Satan, Lucifer, Devil, my man, I can NOT go in there. There are PEOPLE. People! I would have to TALK to them. Actually speak to other members of my race' I defend myself. 

'Wrong!' Satan corrects, 'they're demons. Your a demon, they're a demon. Everyones a demon. No more using the human race as an excuse young lady!' 

'Sorry Satan, I'm awkward'. 

Satan dramatically throws open the door, clearly not amused by my own social anxiety. Well sorry I find killing people easier than talking to them. There is a reason I only ever use the self serve checkouts at Coles, okay! 

Satan, agaisnt my wishes opens the door. So this is what Hell is like. It's true, you really do have to face the worst things imaginable... socailization. 

I grab onto the back of his Jacket, apparently formal attire is important even in Hell. Who knew right? 

'Let go of me, Casey!' Satan snaps at me. 

'Sorry, but I told you... I'm awkward'. 

'I-I can't belive this. You know what? Fine! Fine! Have your soul back!'

And that's how I survive being accidentally crushed in the machine they use to crush cars. But I got shot and died again cause everyone thought I was a zombie.

'Sorry Satan, I'm awkward' I apologised again. 

'I hate my job'. 

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