Crime doesn't pay

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

An old truck driver resting after a busy day gets interrupted by a gang of thieves out on a job, Terror soon follows.










Crime doesn't pay


It was the early hours of Sunday morning. It was dark, overcast, and cold. Earlstown was closed. The main road through the towns industrial estate was empty except for a lorry that had stopped over for the night to give the driver some respite.

Tom was a middle aged driver with a greying beard and stains on his shirt. He was supping his coffee in the cabin of his lorry. He had kept the curtains open because he was sure he wouldn’t be disturbed at this time and he liked watching the rabbits run. They had gathered on a grassy hill at the edge of the road between the woods and the industrial estate.

He didn’t sleep much when he was driving but he had to take a rest now. He was exhausted from work. He had been held up in traffic behind an accident for almost five hours. Tom had done his best to make up for the lost time but the added work was catching up to him and he needed a breather.


Over the way from old Tom there was a storage yard. The compound had iron railings the type that spiked at the top. There were no lights inside but it was illuminated enough by the streetlights and the lights of a nearby factory. All around the compound where rusted cars, pieces of machinery, and an engine here and there. At the back of the compound was a garage it looked as though it could have been used for a small business. The garage was in complete darkness the shutters over the front door had been pulled down and padlocked and the windows where covered from the inside with a plastic sheet to stop anyone from sneaking a look inside.


The place was very dark but a huge dog could be heard snarling at the rabbits and barking if any came too near. It hated the rabbits. The dog was black, its fur was shaggy and unkempt, it had never been brushed, stroked or even petted in any way. Its teeth where large, dangerous, and capable of inflicting dire injuries. The legs of the beast where thick and strong. The chain around the animals neck had dug into the skin and caused it to bleed and scab. the blood had matted in its hair and dried. It’s tail had been removed to give it the advantage in a fight. The dog had been deliberately unloved in order to make it as mean as possible. It was guarding the place.


As Tom sat there drinking his coffee watching the rabbits, ignoring the poor dog, and thinking about going home to his wife.  When three shapes appeared and moved up the hill scattering the rabbits. They where coming in his direction. The three shapes where people, men by the build of them but he couldn’t be sure because their faces where covered by balaclavas. They wore thick black coats and gloves. One of them, the largest, wore a bulging rucksack and another carried a thick rolled up rug the kind that you would find in front of a living room fire.

They made their way over to the compound. The dog immediately jumped into action barking and snarling ready to tear the arms of anyone stupid enough the try and enter his area. The three men each stuffed balled up pieces of meat through the gaps in the railings. The beast gave up growling and biting at the fence for a few moments while he greedily ate everything that had been given to him. Then he resumed but not for long. The dog started whining and rolling around skriking in agony. The three men just watched. Eventually after a painful few moments it walked to the other side of the yard fell to the ground and became silent. Tom watched on in horror.


One of the men threw the rug over the top of the railing and climbed over the other two quickly followed him. The large man with the rucksack opened up his bag and pulled out two more just like it and gave one each to the others. Then he grabbed a pair of bolt cutters and opened up the shutter which was covering the front door.  Light burst out along with the humming sound of industrial fans and an extremely loud alarm started to ring.

Tom could see the people a little more clearly now and noticed one of them was quite tall and fat, another was slim, and the third the one holding the bolt cutters was brutishly stocky . Tom thought about ringing the police but decided against it as he didn’t want to alert the burglars.


They entered together working quickly now they grabbed anything they could that looked worth something and filled their bags. When the men came rushing out of the garage, their bags where much heavier than when they came. One of them, the stocky individual, vaulted the fence and turned to wait for his accomplices. Then the second skinny one found climbing a little more difficult with a bag brimming with swag. As he dismounted he pulled at the rug a little as it had it caught on his boot and it started to slip. Now it was the biggest guys turn to climb and with a puff and struggle he was perched at the top of the fence. The rug underneath that protected him from the spikes slipped off and he fell backwards. Impaled now on the far side of the fence he screamed. His fellow burglars flapped around and tried to help but only managed to snag his leg further making the spikes rip further into his thigh. He swung upside down crying, bleeding, and unable to help himself. His friends ran.

Whatever it was they had smushed into the meat that had been fed to the dog had started to wear off. The beast was waking up. Tom was scared and although he didn’t like what the men had been doing he didn’t want to leave the man swinging there in agony until Monday morning when the work force arrived. He decided to help.

He got out of his cabin and ran over to help. The first thing he tried was to push up in his leg to try and force him free it didn’t work the man was too heavy to lift especially with his body being on the other side of the fence and his foot being the only place Tom could grasp.

The dog started to grumble but neither Tom or the thief could hear over the sounds of screaming. The man became quiet he started to realise his position. “you’ve got help me mate you’ve got to get me off.” his voice was thick with panic. The fear had built to the point of him wetting his trousers. “I’m trying just let me think”. tom had tried very little and was out of ideas, he thought maybe if he was on the other side of the fence he could get him down but he wasn’t about to climb up for fear of his aged limbs giving in and leaving him in the same position as the burglar. The beast licked its lips and shook its head. Tom pulled out his phone and began ringing for help. He dialled 999.

Tom told the lady that answered he didn’t know which service was needed it was all three for all he knew. He quickly told the operator about the man hanging on the fence. He didn’t have time to explain about the break in. He told the lady on the other end of the phone they needed help quickly their was blood everywhere. She told him to stay on the phone. Help would be their soon.

The man was now terrified but not because of his impaled leg but because of the knowledge that if he didn’t get free soon he would surely be going to jail, this wasn’t the first break in he had committed in the area.

He started shouting and swearing at the top of his lungs. Tom unable to hear the operator properly with the shouting and the alarm walked a little up the road and continued to speak with her “yeah he’s in a lot of pain but I think he’ll probably live”.

The dog stood up. Swayed left and right and the man froze he started shouting “fuck” over and over again. while Trying to get up into a position where he could hold the bars of the fence in an attempt to keep himself away from the deranged, drugged, and dangerous animal.

The dog staggered over to him with each step becoming more sure of itself and clear of its own intentions. It never barked, never bared its teeth, the fur on its back stood on end and as it reached the criminal dangling trapped and impaled on the fence it leaped up and bit his back hard. It kept hold shook its head violently from left to right whist swinging from the mans back fat. He let go of the top of the railings and flopped down his head now almost level with the dogs.

He could smell the things vile breath as it snorted and growled into his face. Terror stricken he started to shout to Tom for help, He was cut off as the animal now lunged again and bit his face ripping at the man it tore his balaclava off.  Blood filled his mouth and ran down his face into his eyes. The beast pulled back dropped the mask and aimed again this time gripping hold. Then it shook left then right violently side to side each jolt inducing searing pain. The man gurgled in agony as his jaw came away from his head. Not satisfied the ferocious animal kept up the torrent of violence biting at his face tearing at his cheeks, lips, and eyes.


Tom heard the frightening noises and turned his attention away from the woman on the other end of the phone. He could see the dog on the floor with its jaws around the mans face “Jesus Christ what the fuck.” The operator kept asking what had happened but Tom didn’t have an answer he had no idea know what to say so he told her “just get here as fast as you can.” With that he put the phone down and slumped to the floor...The dog was sat chewing mildly at the jawbone. The man swung around to the side and Tom could see that all that remained of the face was the top row of teeth, half a tongue, and an eyeball loose in the socket.


Connor Ramirez













Submitted: July 04, 2017

© Copyright 2023 Connor Ramirez. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:



I'm not a big fan of horror, but I liked this. It was short and to the point. Even though he was a burglar, I felt bad for him. There were some issues with punctuation, missing commas and periods here and there. Read your story out loud to yourself, this will help you figure out where you should put a comma or period. Nice job.

Tue, July 4th, 2017 7:41pm


I'm glad you liked my story even though it's in a genre you don't normally like, I'll try to write something a little friendlier that you may enjoy more next time.
thank you for helping me.

Wed, July 5th, 2017 3:17am


Nice work, Connor. Horror isn't exactly what I would describe it, though it has elements of a good horror in the making. A truly good horror story will creep me the hell out long before the end of the story. I've read some Creepypasta's that were scarier than this, but don't let me discourage you. As Islebabe and India Emerald have already remarked on punctuation issues, I won't say much more , but very good work for your first posting.

Tue, July 4th, 2017 11:21pm


I've classified it as horror but maybe it isn't. I wanted it grounded in reality I didn't want to write about monsters and such things. maybe another time I will do something like that.
I quite like this story for all my grammatical errors, hopefully you'll like my next work a lot more :)

Wed, July 5th, 2017 3:15am

Aira crimson

Wow that was good, I do like such stories but my mind was blown at what just happened in this story.

Wed, July 5th, 2017 11:46am

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