Two Dames In A Dodge, Or Route 66

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More Details
Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Esme and Mitzi are off across the USA for their vacation and some cross-country hijinks. With absurd antics, fourth panel breaks, and the desperate avoidance of both a plot and consistency, our
gals hop from one bizarre situation to the next, always hunting for the next best thing to eat, wear or do. Feel pity for the fairly normal characters they come up against, and marvel at the
interior story we just completely gave up on after a few chapters.

Table of Contents


Submitted: July 05, 2017

On a Wednesday afternoon, Esme Smythie and Mitzi Jones, two topless waitresses, were about to leave TipTop Titties for their three w... Read Chapter


Submitted: July 06, 2017

Chompy let one rip, and since they hd already paid, they rushed out of the greasy spoon.  Because believe you me, kinkajou farts Sti... Read Chapter


Submitted: July 06, 2017

Before leaving the state, the girls decided to do a little shopping at Mall-Wart. While down the electronics looking for more music, ... Read Chapter


Submitted: July 11, 2017

Robin walked over to a truck with signage that indicated it belonged to a Dixie-Lee Warman, whose company was all about Rotweilers. "... Read Chapter


Submitted: July 14, 2017

"No, I don't want to." Mitzi grumbled, crossing her eyes. Howard leaned over and tickled Mitzi mercilessly.  "Come on, Poopsie, ... Read Chapter


Submitted: July 29, 2017

Mitzi tried to start the car for the fourth time, unsuccessfully.  "Oh, come on!" she yelled at the steering wheel.  "Try it ... Read Chapter


Submitted: August 09, 2017

Back in the car on the way to the Oklahoma border, Mitzi's painted her toenails bright purple. Esme popped a CD in the player and ski... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 03, 2017

Edgar was wondering what he had gotten himself into, what with recent events.  As he snacked on the jelly beans he had brought with ... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 03, 2017

"Ooh, Fried Eggplant Marv's!  Let's go there!  The food there is Oklahoma fried fresh!"  Mitzi cried softly. "You seem... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 03, 2017

Pineapple head arrived at hte trio's table with a large serving platter full of the items they had ordered. Mitzi's eyes widened. &nb... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 08, 2017

Edgar found Mitzi sitting in the car.  Edgar knocked on the passenger window, and Mitzi unlocked the door after looking around to ... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 08, 2017

"Wow!"  Mitzi squealed like pig.  "We're richer than Billy Fucking Crystal!"  She readjusted the rearview mirror to... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 09, 2017

To help stop the awful void, that appeared when Mitzi left, Edgar chose a song from the personal jukebox on the table.  She Ain't ... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 09, 2017

As Esme changed in the room, Mitzi channel surfed.  She happened across the first Batman movie, and watched attentively as Michael... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 29, 2017

As Mitzi buckled up, she waved to Tiffany and Monika, who waved back. Chompy jumped onto the dashboard, burped, and jumped onto Mitzi... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 30, 2017

45 minutes later, Esme was a free woman. Back in the car, the girls headed to a hotel. "How are you feeling?"  Mitzi asked i... Read Chapter


Submitted: September 30, 2017

As Mitzi strolled through the slot machine area. she noticed someone who looked just like Elvis.  She picked up her pace to meet h... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 22, 2017

20 minutes after Nick and Esme reached the Chapel 'O' Love, they were third in line. "You sure you wanna do this?  I don't even ... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 22, 2017

Mitzi and vince had entered the hotel suit, the room empty, considering that the newlyweds were running an errand together, and Logan h... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 23, 2017

Logan had not slept last night, and had braided everyone's hair that was sticking out from under the condoms, except Vince's. "... What... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 26, 2017

After another dramatic fight, Mitzi, Logan, and Vince headed out to enjoy the late afternoon. "Hey, I know, why don't we go out and g... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 26, 2017

Dr. Beckett sipped his Cuba Libre while listening to his friend, Al, going on about his third wife. The busty bartender came over and ask... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 27, 2017

The waiter arrived with two large trays piled high with food. Nick runkled his face. "Is everything fried?" He asked incredulously. ... Read Chapter


Submitted: October 27, 2017

"Ew! For the last time, Mitzi, I'm not scratching your scabby back!" Said Esme as the sun peeked its head out from behind the ?·.·´¯`... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 02, 2017

They arrived at the Liberace museum, and Esme ran up the steps. She pulled on the doors, which were locked. She looked at a sign in the w... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 02, 2017

"What was with that guy?" Logan laughed, slapping Esme's knee with a brick as they walked through the mall. "YOU FUCKER!!" She yelled... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 05, 2017

A cop with exellent grip on his shoes and pitch black sunglasses strutted over to Nick. "I've been informed that you started all this tro... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 05, 2017

"This sucks, she's obviously not here tonight. I'm calling Nick and joining him wherever he is," Vince huffed, whipping his phone out and... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 08, 2017

Meanwhile, in the clink, Esme was being held still by two strong women, pulling her arms straight and holding them tight. A third one hel... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 08, 2017

In the lobby, Esme whirled around to look at her followers. "Quit following me!" She snapped. "I thought we were going to do somethin... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 08, 2017

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at the hotel. The cabbie had taken the longest route possible. As Mitzi stepped out of the cab, sh... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 09, 2017

The next morning, Esme woke to find Matthew cuddled up to her back, with Justin clutched to his little chest. Mitzi sat in bed reading ... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 10, 2017

Back at the room, the group of them and one young boy were watching the Super High Flying Adventures of Yellowish Pac-Boy, which was in J... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 10, 2017

"Anyone want a cup of Darjeeling?" Vince asked, packing the last of his things. "We should hit the yellow brick road soon," Esme poin... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 11, 2017

Six years later, in Sarasota, Florida, a family of thirteen sat on their private beach, watching the orange orb of the sun go down. A f... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 11, 2017

? ?Mitzi - Osric Chau     Esme - Stephanie Beatriz     Logan - Andy Samberg   ... Read Chapter