Guitar Strings Anonymous

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Everything in this story is true. I really did get my first guitar in 1969.

Submitted: July 05, 2017

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Submitted: July 05, 2017

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My name is Serge and I abuse guitar strings.  They say the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. 

 

Just like Bryan Adams.  Got my first real six string.  Bought it at Traylor Music.  Played it ’til my fingers bled.  Was the summer of 69.

 

I put the blame on Robin Blevins.  He was the cool kid in the neighborhood who always got the new toys first.  When I saw his guitar, I had to have one.  I’d been mowing yards and my piggy bank was full.  The Alvarez 5022 was shiny and the tag said $219.95. 

 

You only need to learn five chords to play House Of The Rising Sun.  The harder you hit the strings, the more sound you get.  In a matter of days, I broke my first string.  It would not be my last.  A habit was born.

 

By my junior year of college, I was breaking four strings a week.  I lived on a shoestring budget.  Did I want a box of mac and cheese, or a new E string?  I bummed old strings from every guitarist I knew.

 

Once I graduated and got a job, lack of money no longer hindered my habit.  I went to work in the morning and broke strings at night.  The pattern has continued to this day.

 

They say when you experience a traumatic event you might suffer amnesia.  There were periods of string breaking during my 20s and 30s where I remember nothing.

 

You should always buy your guitar strings locally.  And not from that cheesy guitar chain store that is springing up everywhere.  Some old fashioned place where they sell sheet music to middle school kids.

 

It was a cold, overcast day in November.  I was standing at the counter of my favorite music retailer.  I just needed one string.  But I needed it really bad.

 

I can still see the look on Mr. Donelli’s face.  He was pointing at a six-compartment box that contained individual guitar strings.  One of the compartments was empty.  The rest were running low.

 

“Sorry Serge, I don’t have any G strings.  You cleaned me out.”

 

There have to be other people like me.  We should form a self help group.  Normal people are not capable of understanding what our lives our like.

 

We will name it Guitar Strings Anonymous.  Membership is free.  All you have to do is be willing to admit that you abuse guitar strings.

 

Before you tell me, “Serge, if you didn’t hit the strings so hard, they wouldn’t break”…

 

I don’t care if that happens to be true.  That isn’t how this thing works.


© Copyright 2017 Serge Wlodarski. All rights reserved.

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