Dusty Halo

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
It's not everyday you can just come across an amazing person you can call your brother or sister.

Submitted: July 09, 2017

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Submitted: July 09, 2017

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I can't close my eyes without seeing the reality of my current situation which is far from average. Like the Hebrews who killed Jesus. Just hearing that makes life seem the coldest rather it be fact or fiction. Woke up last night unable to fall back asleep. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing the same people that brought about all the battles on my quest for growth. So many questions surrounding me wondering where the love went. When's the last time I asked for some help? I couldn't get from nobody else. That's just being grown. The sweat on my forehead ran down my face dripping on the floor. Trying to lay back on the bed visuals of Dequasia played on front of me like staring at HD footage of the heart break I endured. At this point keeping my eyes closed seemed like the only option since opening them would've let of the river with broken rose pettles building up. She disappeared just like my trust then my father appeared before me. Another memory played before my eyes crystal clear as I see him telling me "I don't know what's your problem, but you better straighten up" not knowing a week later I'd be homeless. At the same time his heart died like my strength to keep pushing for another day when so many close to me were at my neck.

Standing on the other side of the fence from the house I thought I could call my home only brought tears to my eyes when I seen the people I thought were my family standing in front pushing me away. I couldn't do much, but continue to walk in hopes of finding a better life. Though my spirit ran wild back then I think back to that moment I when I was walking, and sometimes wish I hadn't gotten away. Part of me wanted that guy to catch me drag me wherever, and beat my brains out like he said he was going to do then hopefully finish it off with a few blows from his pistol if he was a man of his word. Up until this point I can't reflect on much, but the tough road I traveled that got bumpier when I put my trust into others. When I started to only think of what's best for me, I realized how lonely I was every night. Questioning most people's perception of hell only mention talks of darkness, fire, and sodemy. That became a fairytale when I looked around me to see myself walking home at 2am every night from work. Watching everyone else in the house call for their mom and dad, but where's mine. People don't usually share parents, which is true as I sit to the side trying to look down at my phone when they have sedimental moments only they can truely share with their own.

As I fall asleep I can't help but see all the people I lost to hate, and the cold world. Hmm... I just can't finish this thought. This is the end of this.


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