about the first time i went flying

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is an essay i wrote about the first time i went flying. it is a fictional representation of what it is like for people like me.

Submitted: July 09, 2017

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Submitted: July 09, 2017



Planes always scared me. To me they were giant missiles with seats and drunken pilots that could crash the plane at any second but to the rest of my family they were fun ways to travel. My parents always said that flying was the safest way to travel. I never understood how with all these planes disappearing. Hopefully, it won’t happen today as were going to fly to France.
All I could think of the entire night was that it was going to crash. Once I got into the car, I put on my protective helmet. My father told me to take it off or else I’ll be arrested. I decided to keep it on because if I had choice between Guantanamo Bay and a flight to Paris, I’ve always wondered what Cuba was like so I’d go Guantanamo.
 We reach the airport and all I saw was huge beepers and a fifty five year old woman named Bertha felling up a 20 year old Scottish exchange student. I just thought to myself thank god I do not have a beard or I would get felt up more than a care-bear in a preschool. We stepped into those scanners to check if we had weapons. I personally believe that my sister’s twilight book should have been confiscated but sadly it wasn’t labelled as a weapon. Then Bertha told me to take off the helmet and I said no.
She kept pleading me to take it off but I wouldn’t budge. So, she pepper-sprayed me. Thank you patriot act for allowing people to get peppered sprayed for their own protection. Honestly, do I really look like a person who is going to crash a plane? I’m a ginger haired 12 year old child.
I’m pretty sure Isis would not recruit me. It would be like having a hobbit work as a cop. It would not be intimidating. But I digress. So, I stayed in an Airport jail cell shared with an Arab and a Canadian who both ended up in jail for holding a pack of Mentos next to a guard believing it to be a weapon. He pepper sprayed them both in the face as well. So I spent the better half of a day in jail while my parents tried to get me out. At the end of the day, I was let out but put on the no fly list for twenty years. Ironically, I kind of got what I asked for but I would have prefer not to be peppered sprayed next time.  

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