On my way home

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Travel  |  House: Booksie Classic
True strength is within, situations build a person & unables him to discover his own self. A journey that changed life's & took uncertainty on another level.

Submitted: July 10, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 10, 2017



On my way home.

Chapter 1

I could hear someone call out my name; it seemed as if someone was trying to wake me from a deep sleep. My vision was blur yet I could see a yellow gloomy light over my head towards the left side, a group of doctors wearing dark green aprons and green caps were standing around me. Though my vision was blur I saw one of them, with a thick beard and moustache very close to me, he bent over to my left hand and pressed it, I couldn’t recollect where i had seen him before it was a traumatic state, I was wondering what was happening around but still my mind Instantly asked “is it done?”, all of them in a voice said “yes, you are perfectly fine”, the doctor who was learned on my hand stood up & looked into my eyes, you will be all right in a few days, he said. Somehow i could believe him. The later i remember is that i was taken on a stretcher, the moment we stepped out of the door i could see mom standing towards my left, her eyes were wet. Behind her stood dad, his face i remember looked so helpless. Mom waved at me & walked away followed by dad. I just wondered when she reached here. I was then taken to the ICU and remembered of being there before. When all the setting of my bed was done towards my right i could see a wall hung clock it showed 1.20am, until now i was unaware where i was for so long, just then the nurse pricked a needle in my vein on the right hand & attached a saline bottle; she said she will be giving me a TT injection & asked me to relax & sleep. My brain was heavy i felt terribly tired & was breathing heavily, soon sleep crept over me.  I woke up with a sudden body jerk, my sleep had become really fragile, when i saw the clock it showed past 3.15am, my throat was drying, it was a unusual thirst i felt that time i called out the nurse and asked her for a glass of water but she denied saying, i was been operated just few hours ago and hence i would be able to drink anything only after 8 in the morning. The moment was of truth, a flash of events went through my mind a loud braking of the car haunted my head, i again started breathing heavily, and felt as if I was standing in the deserts in search for a drop of water to quench my thirst. My throat was twisting until i noticed my left arm, it was tied to a stand and wrapped in a heavy bandage, it appeared really huge like a loft of wood and i could barely feel it. The ICU at that hour of time appeared as an alien space without any emotions which had trapped me within it. The clock moved slower than a snail, I constantly kept looking at the clock every now and then, somehow in-between those slow witch  hours i managed to sleep, the next when i woke up it was past 6am, on my diagonal left there was a clear storey window, i saw the sky turn bluish. It was Friday morning i was supposed to be at home but i didn’t know where in which city i was. Just then dad arrived, he looked sleep deprived with red swollen eyes, he wished me good morning and asked how i was, it was good to see him, i asked about mom on which he said she had gone to get breakfast for me, he left saying he would be back in a while, i felt as if he just came to see me.

The nurse finally gave me glass of water & i could just drink half of it, the moment she turned her back i threw up. There were terrible cramps in my stomach i was restless and again my breath was heavy, the nurse rushed towards me she called out the boy to clean my surrounding, you are still under the influence of anaesthesia and hence I’ll  give you a injection, she said and gave me a injection in my stomach, it was a relief and i slept. I heard my name which brought me out of my sleep. when i opened my eyes he stood there, the man whom i had seen yesterday in the OT, with the beard covering almost his entire neck, cheeks & chin & a thick moustache, he looked like he was in his mid 30s, he wore a dark blue shirt with widely spaced yellow stripes on it and looked like a killer professional, i felt relieved when i saw him in front of me, he was the Ortho surgeon who fixed my hand, now i could recall. He greeted me and asked how i felt, i was been operated last night and now was out of danger, he told me. I was then shown my X-ray the before and after, i couldn’t believe my eyes i wondered through what disaster my hand had been. he said that the assistant doctors will be doing my dressing daily since my wound was open, unless the wound would close there was no possibility of putting a concrete plaster, he said “ i need your complete cooperation “, in a instant i said “yes, i will “, he smiled & turned towards the other doctors and started instructing them to what was to be done next while noting down some stuff in a file, while leaving he greeted me with pleasant “see you, take care” and walked away.

That entire pre lunch i spent telling each nurse, sister & brother in the ICU about my accident, there were questions like what was my native, where i worked, where i was going/coming from, how did the accident happen? Where? Was i driving, whose car was it etc. Later on Mom brought me some food, i asked her where exactly we were and she told me that we were in a city about 180 kms away from my home town. After she left i was given my routine tablet which made me throw up everything that i ate since morning. Each time i threw up i went restless, heavy breathing happened as if my body was against taking anything. It was around 4 in the evening, the doctor gave a call on the nurse station, it was my wound dressing time. The brother who was on duty brought a trolley full of equipments solutions, bandages and kept it near my bed, he was constantly cross checking everything, doctor will arrive in 15 20 minutes & check your wound, he said, an hour after he told me this the doctors arrived, my eyes searched for the killer professional whom i thought would be here, but he wasn’t there, the others who came were off course the team members who were in the morning. His absence made me nervous. There were three doctors and three brothers who came closer to my bed, the nurse pulled the curtains all around my bed making it a enclosed cabin, one of the brother untied my hand which was hung, the doctor, tall skinny with frameless glasses and a crisp haircut was ordering everyone and designating each one with what and how the dressing was to be done. The brother kept my hand on the bed, it immediately brought a terrible pain in my muscle, i was reluctant in keeping it further but they all assured me that it would pain a bit but I’ll have to bear with it, I had no option in agreeing to them. The first layer of the bandage was torn using a blade after which one by one all the layers of bandages were opened. As each layer was removed my hand starting getting weak, i felt cold, when the bandage was completely opened my hand was fiercely shivering. It was now the doctor took charge and he came closer. All the while i was nervous and looked towards my right the doctors asked me not to look at the wound, but now when through the corner of my eye i saw him coming closer i was going cold, my hand pained, it must have been when the doctor removed the cotton covering my wound, a chill went through my body, i lifted my legs and moved my right arm and hissed in pain, the others around me pressed my legs down, it will done in a while just hold onn, one of them said. The pain was instantaneous and it actually vanished within seconds. I kept looking towards my right; i knew it was a terrible thing happening on my left. The doctor started his job by drying my hand with cotton, he whipped it, two of the brothers lifted my arm straight up in the air, my muscle was constantly paining, every now and then i hissed waiting for this to end, a steel vessel was kept under my arm now, first he poured a full saline bottle on my hand may be even on the wound, he again dried my hand with cotton it was not much of a pain so far, my bones repelled to all this and only my muscles pained all this while until it was a ointment called betadine, i heard him asking for it, i never knew it would be this horrifying, he applied it to my hand using a thick cotton piece and the moment it touched my wound it  got me such a burning sensation that i again started rolling in the bed, all of them caught hold of my legs my right hand, it’s done, your almost done, they said in mixed tones. i swallowed hard, but it was not the end. Next was a nightmare, some cleansing acidic solution whose name i don’t wish to ever know. The doc washed my wound with it, it must have reacted with the applied betadine, i screamed the hell out of me, i felt as if my tissues, glands, muscles, veins were all burning & melting into the steel tray along with that solution, i pulled out my right hand from the grip of the one who was holding it and brought it towards my left arm, all efforts to avoid anything else, unfortunately i couldn’t even figure out where on earth my left arm was, i didn’t dare to look towards my left  by then the person again grabbed my right hand and pinned it on the bed, it’s done now, don’t worry it’s done, the doctor finally said and got up from the his seat he then asked the other doctors to cover it with bactigrass (a netted sheet which was placed on the wound) and wind it up with a bandages. While the other doctors were doing the need full i was shivering, my body was cold, i still didn’t turn towards my left. Finally my hand once again went into the layers of bandages and was hung to the stand The burning sensation inside the bandages reduced after about 15 20 minutes later, all the doctors gathered at the central desk in the ICU and wrote their part of report in the file and walked away to meet my parents who were seated outside.

After a while mom came up with tea and biscuits, i was surrounded by patients with pathetic conditions in the ICU, one had pipes in the nose, few had continues cough etc etc, the scenario was getting on to my nerves, i asked mom to shift to a private ward, but since my condition was not that stable it was not possible in such a short notice.
Mom told me that my cousins and aunts went to our home town as per the plan, they had dropped in to see me but since my dressing was going on they were not allowed, if they would wait it would get late for them to reach. Soon it was night; i had to eat some pathetic hospital food which i felt like throwing up at every bite. The ICU staff shift was over, the night staff members arrived and took over the charge & again i had to answers the same set of questions which i was answering ever since morning, after a point i just ignored everyone and kept mum. It was mid night; i couldn’t sleep for a minute. There were continuous flashes of events in front of me, i was awake and dreaming about my childhood, i thought of my grandmother back there in our old house, the way she used to look after me when i was ill and mom & dad used to be away for work, she cooked for me, made me eat, told me same stories yet i listened to them every time as if it was the first time, i missed her for that moment. Clock was a snail at night and the worst part was i had to sleep in a single posture without disturbing my tied hand; luckily pain killers took care of my wound. All the nights in the ICU i used to stay awake sleeping around 3.30/4, at 5.30am the brothers there used to change the bedsheets, covers and do the sponging of every patient  which made me get up hence technically i slept most of the time during the day and stood awake the entire night. They were extensively caring though, each time i asked them to call my parents they did it though it was a strict ICU. Each time i threw up the kept calm at me helped me get to normal. It was Saturday morning, as usual i slept during the mornings and the killer professional, my ideal doctor woke me up during his visit. Today he came a bit early; he examined my bandage and asked me how i felt. I shall come for your dressing today; he said, i was actually happy to hear that. my day was as usual, until afternoon i waited for the dressing, finally there was a message in the evening around 4, and all the preparations began around my bed, i was nervous because i had to go through all the pain but my ray of hope was that the killer professional was going to be here today to do the dressing himself but unfortunately my ideal doctor couldn’t make it today since he had an emergency, the entire process was repeated like yesterday. I could sustain everything but the last solution was unbearable, i was ought to scream on top of my voice, the pain made me feel tired i felt like leaving my hand there itself and run to the woods where there would be no sunlight touching the ground or to the loneliest beach where the water would drown all my pain, After it was done for today i sat on the bed with my hand in the sling pouch, i was asked to walk around, i took two rounds in the ICU itself.  I looked at the one of the window from my bed; i could see coconut trees outside its branches were waving due to the winds. I imagined myself watering the coconut trees in my front yard, i imagined the buds blooming into full grown flowers in my garden, the fragrance of the scented flower creeper at the main door of my house, i could smell it, i could hear the sweet melody resonate in my ears when i struck the first string of the tuned tanpura back then in my Gurukul, i could see two colours merge within each other on a canvas making it lively, i imagined myself in the prettiest lake city which i had recently visited, that was my happy place, the ghats over there, i could see the children jumping into the cold waters, i was there capturing those moments, i could hear the giggles of my friends and all the pjs we cracked, the particular joke “ if we hire a bus during the study tour and it meets with an accident then all won’t die only the nerdys sitting in the front would die “ echoed my ears. It was the first time i cursed myself for making this decision of coming home.

During dinner i again requested mom to shift to private ward, to my surprise she said that we might probably shift to a hospital in my home town. On hearing that i had mixed feelings. The night passed with me staring the clock, it was Sunday, My sister had landed overseas and was out of her jetlag by now. Mom brought the breakfast as usual and told me that she had to face my sister’s wrath about not informing her, anyways she was still not told 50% of the things. Today dad informed about my accident to my friends, colleagues and also my boss. I was most probably getting a discharge tomorrow and i would shift to my home town, mixed feelings latched my brain. Thoughts marched into my head, whether it will be done better over there? Should we just stay back get cured completely and then go, but that was also not so fusible. In the afternoon my aunts and cousins who had been to my home town were returning and this time all of them one by one came to meet me. It was a relief to see all those faces; they made me laugh and smile.

At 3.30pm the dressing trolley came to my bed, i was just gathering all my courage for the faceoff, to my surprise My ideal doctor alone barged inn, he was wearing a jet black shirt and grey trousers, he was folding his shirts sleeves as he was approaching me, how are you? Wanna go home? he asked, before i could sink to what was happening he took my arm and started unwrapping the bandage, i blankly looked at his face, he smiled and said “don’t worry, your wound is healing, this will take 5 minutes then you can go to your home town and get admitted there i have spoken to your parents”, all the while during the dressing he was talking to me and to my surprise i didn’t feel even 5% pain, he even finished the dressing and i was just stunned with the way he did it. Indeed he was my life saviour. That evening i was shifted to a general ward, next day morning was my discharge. The moment i was out of ICU on the wheelchair i could breath, i felt yes there is life outside, that night after many days i could sleep, though i woke up several times i did sleep for a ample amount of time. After the incident every single night i could see the entire event at least once in my dreams, it had now become a part of my sleep and a reason for me to wake up every now and then. It was Monday morning, i had my breakfast and was dozing, just then i heard why are you always sleeping? get up walk around, my ideal doctor said in a scolding tone like a big brother. So you’re going home, he continued, i need to see you once your hand and you are fit and fine, you will come and meet me, like those typical movies, he said and laughed aloud, his presence was surely full of positivity, get well soon, he said i confidently replied aloud “thank you so much”, he smiled and went to the next patient. My first paternal cousin who is an MD came to pick us from the hospital where i was admitted, after all the formalities we finally left for my home town at around 1.30pm. While i sat in the wheelchair to go to the exit and till i sat in my cousins car and left the hospital premises i could just see the smiling face of my life saviour, killer professional ideal doc before my eyes. I was returning with mixed feelings. Though my destination for now was not my home yet i was one step ahead on my way home......















Chapter 2

While we started from the hospital, i sat in the back seat with mom, my cousin enquired about the speed and my comfort every now and then, i saw those lush greens on the either sides of the highway as we were approaching my home town, i went into the flash back, such a happy time it was.
It was Tuesday night i was in the city where i worked and had just returned from dinner with my bestie in town, i was happy from within, i was going home after around 2 and half months, more over it was a surprise, my parents didn’t knew i was coming home. My sis was flying overseas along with her 1 year 2 months old baby, my nephew, he would finally meet his dad after 8 months, and my sis would be with her husband eventually after all the prolonged waiting. I had to board a train on Wednesdays early morning at 4:55am, during the late hour i got to know that the cab service that i usually used was on a strike, hence i had to convince my bestie in town who was also my roommate to drop me at the station in the morning, he always acted like a bitch when it came to getting up early in the morning & without agreeing to me he slept, I managed to sleep for about 45 minutes that night after packing up my stuff for a four days trip & woke up at 3.45am, got ready and now had a important task to do, wakeup my friend, after about a quite long convincing he finally agreed to come, he was cursing me and  i knew it. All the way on the bike from my flat till the station he was mum, both of us were quite. Finally i reached the station at 4.35am his face was worth watching i said bye to him and asked him to text me once he reached home he nodded and left, I didn’t knew it was our good bye, he was shifting to a new city in about 10 days and I was unaware that i was not returning within four days. I had just reached the 6th platform where my train was supposed to arrive when i got his message saying he had reached. I wondered how he must have had drove the bike, anyways my train was already there. I boarded it and sat in my seat. There were about 5 minutes for the departure, i dreamed about being with my sis, then at home, my maternal cousins and aunts where also going to my home town and would be staying at our place the next few days, i would be meeting all of them after about one had half year, i would be home, i imagined myself in my room on my bed with my favourite cover, my pets, my plants that i had planted back there in my garden, it was the mango season, home food was the cherry on the cake, i would meet my friends, all this made me get gosebums. Finally the train started and i texted on my family whatsapp group that my train had departed.

There was a kid next to me, he had finished his exams hence he and his mother where going to visit his uncle and stay with him for the vacation, i helped him get a network while on roaming, he was happy with me and was really very curious about lot many things, he wished to become a pilot and was really very talkative, after sometime i was sleepy and i had to tell him that I needed to sleep he was perfectly fine with it and engaged himself in subway surfers on his phone, i slept off leaning to the window, after a long sleep i woke up when it was 11am, i needed about another one and  half hour  to reach the central station from there the journey was still onn, i was constantly in contact with my dad who had left in the morning from my home town in his car,  my sis who was at her office and my brother in law who was overseas. The kid next to me started with his talks again, this time it was wild life and GK, but he actually made my journey, while he left he took a selfie with me on his phone & very politely he said bye when he got down on an earlier station. It was 12.45pm, i reached the central station, and from here I had to change three locals to reach my destination. This time i was lucky to get consecutive fast locals. Around 2pm i reached my destination station from where i took an auto and went to a nearby McDonalds where my sis was waiting for me. Outside the eatery i saw her driver wasting the fuel by enjoying the AC in the car. i was damm hungry I saw my sister seated on a corner table, it was clear that she had just visited a parlour. She asked me what i would eat, i asked for a meal and instead of coke chose for an ice tea, my sis grinned & laughed over my choice of ice tea that was something unusual for her. We both gossiped for about an hour there when i called up dad asking where he had reached. He needed another 2 hours to reach here. We moved out as my sis had to wrap up some last moment works and then we went home. At home first thing was i made a cup of tea for both of us, we both sat, cracked jokes on all sorts of possible things and laughed until the windows vibrated. At around 4.30pm dad reached, he brought one more driver along with him since we were taking my sisters car home. After he came he was as usual panic struck about the entire packing, luggage, when we were supposed to leave for the airport etc, we both asked him to relax and sit in a place. It was now that i told dad that the next day i was coming home along with him he immediately wanted to inform mom about this but i asked him to keep the surprise. Me and my sis again went out to bring my nephew home from the day care, after we were back dad was engaged with him and until night my sister was getting her luggage done once for all, at 11.45pm we left for the airport and  reached there at around 1.15, Her flight was at 5.30am but the checking was already open, after spending about half an hour outside the airport at the 3rd terminal she and her son went in with good byes, we still waited as she asked us to wait until the custom duty was cleared, after about an hour she gave me a call and called us at the terminal 6, there we had our final good bye and we left, she & my nephew went in and we headed towards the parking. At 4.30am we reached home. It took an hour for us to load the cars with all the luggage and plants from my sister’s house that we were taking home along with us. It was Thursday morning, 13th April, The sky was turning blue, i was constantly in touch with my sister who had boarded her flight, she sent me a selfie of hers boarded the seat, and finally she flew off. At 5.45am both the cars left from my sister’s home to reach my home town by afternoon. I sat in my sister’s car besides the driver seat & since i had no proper sleep from past two nights, i was instantly dozing after we had started. At around 7am we halted at a tea lounge which was on a cliff, i walked towards the rear edge of the restaurant to look at the valley, i saw the sun rise, and the harshness was already up there making everything warm. After about 15 minutes we started the car in which I was seated was a bit ahead then the one in which dad was. I was sleeping comfortably when the driver stopped the car, he had a call to attend that halt broke my sleep, my driver went out of the car to attend his call, within 5 minutes we started again, after some distance on the express highway we could see some checking going onn, the police stopped our car saying that the number plate was broken, we convinced him and paid a nominal fine, took a receipt and left. At 9.30am both the cars halted at a decent restaurant for breakfast. It was 10am when we began the further journey. I texted few of my friends that i was going home and shared pictures of me & my sis with my friends and family. My car was now way ahead then the one in which dad was coming. I called up dad and reminded him to callup the watch man in my sister’s society to do some pending works. At around 10.30 i lowered my seat to sleep, my driver was playing some pathetic music of his choice, but still i managed to sleep.

There was a loud sound of breaks, heavy jerks made me wakeup. The moment i opened my eyes i saw our car going to my left leaving the highway to my right, i was puzzled to what was happening. Before i could turn to my driver who was trying to control the car, i realised that there was a hump in the undulated ground on which the car was heading, on the tip of the hump there was a rock, our car was exactly heading towards the rock, i could make out that the driver was trying hard to control the car but the speed was tremendous, before i could realise any dam thing on the earth the car bumped into the rock and flipped towards the left, when it flipped it actually crashed on the ground and the window of my door was broken into pieces, the momentum of the car was so much that even after it flipped and crashed on the ground it was automatically dragged for a several meters, i was wearing my seat belt hence i was intact in my seat, but i could feel something rubbing the corner of my left arm, i even tried to lift my arm but the pressure of the movement and my posture in the car didn’t allow me to succeed, i looked in front since there was a line of shops and people looking at our car and all this happening, i just hoped the car would stop instantly and not bang on those shops causing further damage, finally due to the constant friction between the left surface of the car and the ground , the momentum broke and the car came to a halt. All this happened in about 8 to 10 seconds, it was now i tried to move and noticed my left arm, my forearm was out of the window and blood sprouted like a fountain of three springs from the corner of my arm, i realised the pain now and screamed the hell out of me, i was constantly screaming as the blood fountains from my hand stained my seat, my clothes, the dash board, i was lying in my own blood, my hand was completely torn apart the pain was insane, i was still screaming i felt as if a elephant had walked over my hand and crushed it into pieces. By now people gathered around our car, they all lifted it and flipped it back upright; when the car came back upright my forehand was hanging outside the window. My hand appeared like a sliced piece of a fruit which hangs by due to poor chopping. The window plane was half immersed in the corner of my arm, people looked at me and my hand, one of them started calling the ambulance, one asked me the number of any of my relative, i told him that my dads car  was just behind us and gave him my his number. He called up dad and told him that the car had meet with an accident and told him the location. I was looking at the pathetic state of my hand, blood was literally flowing, there was immense pain but i was in a shock i was mum, i asked someone to get me a cloth, somehow someone brought a cloth, i managed to lift my hanging hand & kept it on my lap and tied the cloth around it, just to avoid blood flow, but that effort was in vain. My clothes were fully blood stained and yet blood was still flowing continuously. By now people managed to remove the driver out of the car, his hands were also bleeding. The ambulance arrived and people asked me to come out carefully, i was not in a state where i could remove the seat belt, everything near my hand was entangled, the man who had called up dad tore the seat belt, those innocent people tried to help me come out of the car, but the terrible pain was killing me, i asked everyone to stay away and not touch my hand at any cost, they were really co operative and asked me to get up slowly as possible and come out from the driver’s side door, the ambulance was waiting i somehow gathered all my courage and lifted my arm as i got up, the pain made me week in my knee but i had to get out of the car and reach the hospital. Holding my broken bleeding arm i climbed the ambulance, my driver was sitting there already he had few scratches on his right hand, the person in the ambulance asked me to rest down, i had somehow become accustomed with the pain as i was lying in the ambulance, now i couldn’t feel my forearm, i felt as if my palm n figures were flying, there was no sensation of my hand other then the pain, i moved my figures but they were cold, thousands of thoughts ran through my head, i looked down to see the blood still flowing, i thought i wouldn’t make it till the hospital since the amount of blood loss was to another level, i told myself that either i am going to be dead or i would live but lose my left arm, i thought doctors would amputate my arm below the biceps since i couldn’t feel it, it was dragged all the way there must have been infection inside my arm by now, these thoughts over shadowed my pain. I kept asking the driver how far the hospital was, each time i asked he said 5 minutes more, after about 20/25 minutes we reached, a stretcher was bought as the nurses opened the doors of the ambulance, when i got up i could see the blood stained seat in the ambulance. It felt as if 70% of the blood from my body had flowed through that puncture in my arm. I got up and slept on the stretcher then i was carried to the casualty, the doctors there started taking details about what had happened. I asked them to attach a blood bottle in my vein, it was paining so i asked them to inject me a pain killer, when i removed the cloth around my hand all the flesh, tissues, veins and mud from the road everything inside my hand was mixed as if it was taken out of a blender. The two junior doctors over there were stunned looking at the state of my hand and stared at each other, murmuring something about calling some particular doctor, give me a pain killer and attach a bloody blood bottle to my hand, i yelled at them. They asked me to relax by then other doctors arrived and they started cleaning my blood stains they examined my injury made some notes and then covered my hand with bandages, a brother came to me and tore my t-shirt he cleaned all the blood stains, and helped me wear the hospital clothes he then hung a saline bottle and pricked it to my right arm, the doctors were making my file and asking me my details, it was now i was sure that i would live, with or without the arm was still a question, i could hear doctors saying that the pulses of my arm were dropping, they were going to operate me soon. I was lying there when after the entire data entry dad arrived, without coming close to me he just called out my name, i am here don’t worry, he said. I lifted my neck to see him he looked terrified & Instantly a thought cracked my mind, fortunately it was me in that seat and not dad, i wondered what he must have felt when he saw the blood stained seat and he knew i was sitting there. a nurse told dad to go to some cabin and she came to me, my stretcher was pulled and nurses started taking me somewhere, i started yelling asking where they were taking me, x-ray room will have to do a x-ray of your broken arm, one of them said. My x-rays were done, now i was brought to the ICU, two three brothers started moving around me, one of them stuck 3 wires on my chest and stomach, one checked my blood pressure, within 5 minutes they had done the basic examination and noted it in the file later one of them pricked a injection in the saline bottle which made my brain calm down and i slept.
I heard my name & i actually woke up, i wondered how i slept but recalled that the injection was the reason, a group of four doctors stood before me, and one, my ideal doctor sat on a stool, it was here when i had seen him for the first time. He introduced himself to me and said il will be looking into your medical case. He asked me to first explain to him how the accident happened, i briefly told him in order after which he continued, you are lucky only your left hand is been damaged and apart from this there is no other damage anywhere on your body except for those minor scratches on your right palm, but unfortunately, he paused. I swallowed hard but was mentally prepared to hear the worst he continued, we cannot guaranty about your hand. Let me tell you what has happened, when your car banged the ground on your left it may be that without your knowledge your hand went outside the window and banged the ground in which your bone near the elbow in a span of 5 cms is been crushed into three pieces, so you have a crush injury or as called  generally distal  humerus fracture which is why you cannot feel your arm, when your hand was dragged all the way your skin tore till the last layer due to which your artillery vein is damaged, so along with crush injury you have a vascular injury too due to which blood supply to your palm and fingers has stopped and your pulses are dropping, your wound is open hence will have to conduct a surgery in which will try to fix these two major things, we need you to be strong and co operate with our team, i couldn’t say anything after he stopped, but all the while he spoke he looked into my eyes, i felt i can believe in him. In the evening i was shifted on a stretcher and taken through those corridors, they appeared never ending, dull and dead, i had no thoughts in my mind, i was totally blank looking at everyone’s face. In the OT i was again shifted on a small stretcher like bed, an arm rest was attached on the left, and an injection was pricked in the needle on my right arm, and then the rest happened.

 Those 8/10seconds of that day were the most demonic nightmare ever. That atmosphere over there, it was nothing but death that had gathered, if those 8/10 seconds had exceeded even a bit, it would have engulfed me within itself, i was getting up slowly and steadily form the trauma & told myself that i survived, but it was the internal death who allowed me escape and survive, all these days i complained of the superficial uncertainty i faced on certain grounds on a personal front, but this incident showed me the uncertainty of another level. The whole scene was so unusual, i don’t know what to infer through it or whom to blame over this, it was the vibes there that day at that spot. I was just fortunate that i was spared for this time. I must say i saw death, on my way home.


















Chapter 3

It was 2.45pm, we halted at a restaurant on the express highway for lunch, mom dad insisted a lot on me to have something, but i was not willing to eat anything, finally my cousin asked them not to force me. When we finished our lunch and came back to the parking the rear tyre of our car was flat, it took around 20 minutes to fix the spare tyre. By 4 we started. On the way dad and my cousin were deciding on which hospital i would finally get admitted, while we left from the previous hospital it was dads bosses hospital where we would go, but the issue was that the surgeon we required wouldn’t come to that hospital to do my dressing and further surgery, my cousin insisted to get admitted in his own hospital but till then dads boss called up and said that he had arranged for the top surgeon and hence we would have to go his respective hospital which was supposedly the most elite one in town and if one was admitted there it was something awful that has happened, such was a kind of approach towards that hospital.

At 5.30 we reached my hometown, since the number of the surgeon whom we were supposed to contact was out of reach, we went to my dad’s boss’s hospital, on the way we had to drop my cousin to his clinic which was right in the heart of the city, as we drove through those streets, i was refreshed, i breathed in the place where i lived for 23years, the memories of each part of those streets, corners, were as if it had happened yesterday, i felt as if i was reliving in those memories. We reached the hospital, a special room was booked for me, i was taken there, the sisters and nurses checked my file, medicines etc. I had a cup of tea and biscuits and for the first time i didn’t throw up after having it fully. Mom and dad were relieved since we were in our town, my dad’s boss was a experienced doctor and had a practise of few decades which made mom dad feel i was in safe hands, their faces showed a kind of relaxed emotion once we were there.
My further treatment involved the advice of a orthopaedic surgeon, but prior to that my wound was still open and had to be closed to do any further treatment, this involved a plastic surgeon since the span of the wound was wide and it was impossible for my body to produce skin over it only with mere medication. An ortho surgeon who was my cousin’s friend came for my check-up, tall, with a crisp face cut and a sharp nose and very calm in nature, he came in my room, sat on the stool assisted by two other doctors and a nurse who brought all the dressing material, he asked me few questions regarding my accident, my wound etc. This had become really regular for me by now. It was the hour of my dressing, i looked at the dressing trolley to check for that heinous solution, i asked the doctor about it, but he said he won’t be using that, he opened the bandages, cleaned & washed the wound it was all not so painful, or maybe i had got used to it. He checked the pulses which he was not so happy probably. The other doctors then covered my hand with bandages etc. He went to talk to my parents, when i heard his opinion it pulled away the floor beneath my feet, i felt all the efforts that were so far done were in vain, i had somewhere thought that eventually il be alright but his comment had shattered everything, he said that there were no pulses and there was only 5% chance of curing my arm. Preoccupied with all these thoughts i was taken to the x-ray room, since it was RTA (road traffic accident) case the previous hospital didn’t hand over the x-rays taken over there, then my dad’s boss  called us to the sono-graphy room, he was worried for me & he himself wanted to check my pulses. I lied on the high bed, he attached the detector and moved it on my wrist after long efforts there were slight pulses that were detected on the monitor. All the while i looked at the ceiling preparing myself to hear something hard but eventually i could hear my pulses, it is there, can you hear it, he asked and gave me a broad smile. Don’t worry will bring it back to normal, go take rest, he said and went to talk to mom dad, i was taken back to the room, after some time it was now the plastic surgeon who had come to see me, a tall man around 6feet  plus height and a heavy  body with a extreme fair complexion came in along with dads boss, he said he would  be checking the wound, so he opened the bandages checked it and wrapped it back carefully, he then called dad and asked to shift to the elite hospital i spoke earlier, as he would carry out my plastic surgery there, he told me that the next day they would carry out the wound debridementation, wherein they would clean my wound internally and remove dead tissues, foreign materials, dirt etc to avoid infection. I was not supposed to eat or even drink water after 6am the next day, as by afternoon they would take me to the OT, so the next morning we were shifting to the elite hospital. That night my maternal aunt sent dinner for us, i ate a full meal and had now stopped throwing up, may be my town’s air helped my nervous system to be calm. I was as usual lying in the bed the entire night until i got some sleep early in the morning,
it was Tuesday morning, at 5.30am i had some breakfast and milk and at 7am we left for the hospital. As i was taken to the casualty over there i meet one of my school batch mate who worked there as a junior doctor, he came up to me when he saw me but i couldn’t even recall his name until i saw his batch, he sat beside me and we spoke for a while he was shocked and concerned on hearing all that had happened. Take care and get well soon, he said as i left to go to my respective ward. I was admitted in the plastic surgery section of the hospital and was then taken to a semi private ward where the rooms were fully equipped with two patients in a room. At 10am an assistant doctor came and asked the sisters to take me to the OT, somewhere within i was nervous with all this process. My stretcher was pushed across those long corridors and common areas to the pre OT, after an hour in the Pre OT i was taken to the OT, the temperature was comparatively low in there and in some time i started feeling cold, my broken arm went cold and my figures which were exposed were drop dead cold, i rubbed them with the other hand to give it some warmth till then a doctor arrived he lifted my arm from its place and kept it on the armrest which was hung to the stretcher. I am giving you a block, you will feel a needle prick he said, he switched onn the overhead light and covered my face with a cloth, somewhere between my shoulder edge and neck he pricked a needle, i could hear him asking for some mixture of solutions in a specific quantity to his assistants, in a few seconds i could feel as if my left arm was moving up and down, there were jerks in the beats of my pulses right from my shoulder up till my index figure it was not painful though, he removed the cloth covering my face and lifted my arm up in the air, does it pain ? Can you feel your hand? He asked I said no, as i couldn’t feel anything, okay good, he rested my hand as previously, you may sleep now good night, he said and turned off the overhead light.
When i opened my eyes and looked around, it was post OT recovery station, a nurse came to me and checked my Blood Pressure, will shift you to your room now, she said and called out to a boy, he took me to my room, on the way in the common areas dad was waiting, he started walking along the stretcher. there was a pipe that popped out of the bandage on my hand and in my room the nurse attached another pipe to it that was connected to an instrument on the wall behind my bed, it was a instrument called WAC that sucked out all the unwanted watery fluids, impure blood formations that formed in my wound, while my wound was cleaned in the OT this sucking machine would further keep it clean.
The wac course was of 5 days, so the instrument would be connected to my wound for five days from now, Here my routine was similar to that in the earlier hospital, in the morning and evening doctors came for rounds, i had sleepless nights here too, it was just that i had stopped throwing up after eating or drinking anything and i had my phone when i got bored, today i came in contact with my friends relatives, spoke to few of them. Two days past after the wac was attached, it was Thursday a week had past to the incident, it was only me staying in the room which was allotted since the other patient had got discharged, it was afternoon, i was lying in the bed trying to sleep, mom was asleep on the attenders bed, just then a nurse barged in our room, her face and body language showed she was in a panic state, she opened both the doors of the room, the sound made mom wake up and i looked at what was she up too, a patient is full serious we need this sucking machine she said and started pushing my bed to the other end of the room, before we could react other set of doctors and nurses brought a stretcher bed to our room, a old man was coughing and lying in the bed, they were constantly pressing his chest, everyone was panic struck, the doctor asked the brother to detach the pipe from my hand and get it to the patient, mom tried to argue with those doctors for which they said that the sucking machine in that room was out of order and hence they had to get him here, he was few inches away from me, he was breathing heavily his eyes wide open. The doctors were continuously pressing his chest, somehow they managed to detach the sucking machine and put that pipe in his mouth, the relatives of the old man stood right there and were weeping, it seems that they were feeding the old man some juice, the old man coughed and the juice glass toppled, all the juice was spilled on the mans face and also went into his nose and eventually reached the lungs, the doctors could not put a oxygen mask on him since the juice was in his lungs and they needed to suck it out, they complained that the wac machine was not working, the sucking machine which was here in my room was restricted to a certain pressure to suck out impurities from my wound, i informed the doctors about it on which they were still panic struck and switched off the machine and restarted it after which it stopped working. The old man here was giving up, before the doctors could reach out to something else he stopped breathing, one of the doctors checked him and announced that there were no pulses, and he was no more. There was silence all over, my head was heavy the incident of my accident replayed in front of me, his relatives now started crying on top of their voices, i looked at the old man, his still eyes were popping out, his mouth was open. He was dead, yet again death had gathered around. out of all those ridicules thoughts in my mind i could imagine a entity seated on the chest of the old man, its body was covered in black robes and the head & face was covered with a hood up till the mouth, a transparent white fume came out of the old man’s open mouth it sucked the life out of that old man and after it was done it vanished. The atmosphere was same as that i had experienced a week ago & then they took the old man away, to my fortune my friends and cousins few of dads friends came that evening which brought some change in my daily routine, i had some other things to talk. Later my doctors came and fixed up the Wac. My dad as usual had a heated argument with the staff when he got to know about the entire incident that took place in the afternoon. During my sleepless nights the next few days i could only see the dead man and the entity that i had imagined before me. The incident kept repeating till i could sleep & once i slept i used to see myself being crashed in the car this used to break my sleep again, all these days were really frustrating i didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not even telling anyone how i was, i was bugged  lying with that machine attached 24/7, i was annoyed with the questions anyone asked, when anyone came to meet me i used to pretend as if i was sleeping so that i would avoid that eye contact which used to be full of sympathy. It was Monday when finally my dressing day arrived; the WAC course was over it was a week today i had returned to my home town, in the morning around 10 the doctors told me that they would carry out the dressing, later on even my surgeon joined us, they all did the dressing and removed the pipe which was in my wound. My hand was paining and shivering there was no strength in it, the doctor said its perfectly cured now, look its demanding for a graft, did you see your wound he asked, i usually looked towards my right whenever i went through a dressing, i turned to the left and lifted my neck to see it, it was fully red now, there were no gaps and punctures a plain surface of blood was only visible, i could not see my bones and veins anymore which i had seen on the day of my accident. As the doctor said it just needed to be wrapped in a skin coat. I smiled at the doctor as i felt good, tomorrow we shall carry out your plastic surgery and it will sealed off, tonight after 12 you will not eat anything, he informed me and they all left. The nurses then did the bandage wrapping. Tuesday morning, at 8am i was taken to the pre OT, after waiting for long it was 11am when i was taken to the OT, a GA (complete body Anaesthesia) was given and then i woke up in the post OT station, i felt a bandage in my right thigh, i recalled they had removed a layer of skin from my right thigh to cover the wound and make the graft, i tried to move my leg but it pained slightly &  my hand was as always in bandages, i saw the clock it was 4.30pm, i was shifted to my room, i said to myself that finally all my surgeries were over, bloody one accident and so many things just managed to creep in, till 8pm i was not supposed to eat or drink anything, i was weak since i had not eaten anything for long, at 8am my dinner was at my room, i ate it completely took my tablets and tried to sleep, i managed to sleep but my sleep was interrupted by the regular reason after which i stared the ceiling until early morning. Now every alternate day i had a dressing and luckily there was no pain at all, that weekend my friends surprised me by showing up suddenly in the evening when they actually said that it was not possible for them to come down to our hometown from their respective work places, it was a delight, we cracked jokes on our regular topics, gossiped i was willing to tell them all the details about my accident surgery which i did tell, finally they left and we were meeting up soon for a movie. It was two weeks i was in this hospital, now eagerly waiting to go home, Monday a dressing took place which gave me hopes of discharge, my surgeon was out of town the very weekend which prolonged my discharge with a few days but once for all it was Wednesday morning, 20th day after my accident, all my respective doctors along with the surgeon attended my dressing and finally allowed me to go home. My hand was not yet cured; it was still a long way to go. I had 3 more dressings which would happen in the surgeon’s private clinic then i had physiotherapy to undergo which would bring back the strength in my hand it would take minimum three to four months from now & i had to be extensively aware and careful since there was no plaster on my broken hand. With all the instructions i finally left the hospital on Wednesday afternoon and was on my way home.

It generally took 22 hours by train for me to reach home from the city where i worked but this time there were prolonged halts which took 20 days for me to reach home, this was indeed a hell of a journey, i do not know as said earlier what i had to infer through this, i was destined to go through this tormenting experience is what is left like a untouched virgin answer, it’s said shit happens, but i am glad there could have been worse things that did not happen, i am going to be perfectly fine in a few days my ideal doctor had told me, yes i can feel it and see it in my head, in all this emotional chaos i strongly feel i meet my own strength on my way home.


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