Awakened by a bang. I look up I see a hospital bed. I’m confused, I notice a note it read “I’m sorry”. I looked up and a sign read ~A coma~. I fixed together the pieces that I’d been sleeping for some time. I stumbled out of the hospital and all was quiet. No one around or alive. There was blood splattered on the pavements. Rotten dead corpses everywhere. I look to the side of me and suddenly there are hundreds of people. All screaming “what have you done!” My legs collapsed. I couldn't’ get up. I’m in agony! They had knives guns and all sorts of weaponry. “I’m sorry” I whispered. My eyes closed it went quiet I saw a blinding light ahead of me. As I rose into the sky the pain disappeared. Another whisper, “I'll see you soon”. I awoke in my own bed.
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Comments
I hope everyone will enjoy my short but fascinating story. I have worked on this for around one week checking every mistake and changing slang words to formal words as much as I could. I would love it if you could comment once you have read so I can see if you enjoyed or not. Sorry to end this story on a cliff hanger but that's more the way to get you guys to ask for more short stories. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!
Well, it was kind of confusing. I think it would be better if you added more detail, stretched out, added more dialogue, and gave more of an explanation. It is a good idea though, and with a bit of work it could be really good.
Lucia.J