Stop blaming the children!

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Children learn and act on what they see more than what they are told. Why is it that people then act in a certain way in front of children but expect the child to act in a different way?

Submitted: July 14, 2017

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Submitted: July 14, 2017



“The youth of today is lazy,”
“When I was younger we were tougher,”
“We never had computer games, we climbed trees”

I hear this all the time and yes, the youth of today are different compared to us as youths. Thirty, forty and fifty years ago the youth did act differently and they did have different activities to keep them busy. But when you take a closer look at the youth of today, is it them or us, the adults, who are to blame?

If a child sits in his room all afternoon playing games online or texting mates, it is because they are ALLOWED TO. If a child is rude or does not show respect to elders it is because they are ALLOWED TO. If a child is fat and lazy (not medically) and does not participate in any sport or activities, it is because they are ALLOWED TO.

You, as the adult are responsible for the upbringing of these children, lead by example and understand that you are not here to merely assist the child in existing; you are here to ensure that they thrive. Your job is not to be their friend but to be a mentor, a coach and a trainer, to prepare them for life as an adult. When I was in the military we used to train for combat, we practised over and over again in situations very close to those of combat. When the shit hit the fan we did not rise to the occasion rather we rose to the level of our training.

When the shit hit the fan we did not rise to the occasion rather we rose to the level of our training.

You cannot sit on the sofa in front of the TV and tell your children to go and play outside, this teaches them that adults can be lazy, rather grab a bat and ball and go outside and play with the children. Arrange to clean areas of the house or garden when you want the children to do chores so that they can see you also working; the fact that you work 40 hours a week in an office has nothing to do with this at all.

If you only have healthy food in the house then the children cannot eat unhealthy foods.

Always set good examples in everything you do.

In order to teach your children respect you need to be respectful to them.

Show your children the importance of physical exercise, telling them how good you were at athletics at school 30 years ago is not the same as training with them.

Arguing is ok, it is healthy; teach your children the importance of arguing but make them aware that you argue to make a situation right, not to be right yourself.

Do not try to keep the children busy all the time. Boredom is good; it allows them to slow down and gets their imagination working.

When you lose you learn, do not be afraid to lose.

When their modern music threatens to turn your mind to jelly, don’t tell them to switch it off, ask them about it, what it means to them and why they enjoy it then get them to listen to some music you enjoy and share that experience with them.

Encourage them to make decisions for themselves.

Allow them to handle the money transaction for payments at the supermarket and when purchasing only a few small items allow them to go in to the store on their own to make the purchases.

Your child will become you one day; they will do what you did and say what you said. Make sure what they do and say is worth it.

What level of training are your children receiving, how will they cope in real life?

© Copyright 2018 Mark Ossendryver. All rights reserved.

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