Thought in a Rainy Day……

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Thought in a Rainy Day……

Submitted: July 14, 2017

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Submitted: July 14, 2017

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I always ask myself what is the purpose of my life? Is it just to spend like others do? Is it like to think about society about your family? We do spend most of our life spending thinking about others about the people around us.

 

Its Friday evening I came from office early, its raining heavily, I looked around  my apartment .

Its little down in altitude comparison to other area in my locality , while raining all the rain water pouring down comes in a heavy flow goes out in front of my apartment gate which reminds me of my childhood.

 

Way back 20 years ,We used to live in house made up of rice plant straw roof, it was joint family 15 members. Small house of three room including kitchen. the house was made up of square type leaving the empty space in-between the rooms which was without roof. I remember those those days while raining the space gets filled with water and we used float the paper boat in it. Sometimes I think how the waters get pale red colour which come out from straw during rain with a strange smell. Later I came to know during my intermediate that the straw gets fermented and the flavour comes out in dissolve form.

 Life challenges us to find a vision we can live by and then to make that vision a reality. There are no fixed limits to how you envision your life. Your purpose can be anything you desire. Perhaps this gives us a clue to what sets human beings apart from all other creatures. We are the only ones with self-consciousness, capable of shaping our lives through the inner potential of our awareness.

 

Life has changed significantly in last 20 years, I have achieved most of the things I wanted in my life. A good job, good wife, good position in society, lot of travelling etc.

 

Still most of the times I felt something is missing, something is missing which I never wanted in my life. In the evening while sipping my tea cup I went in to my thought what was my dream life which is continuously changing since last couple of year.

Then I realised may be its my parents with whom I always wanted to stay, I always wanted to give them a life which they never imagined of. A life full of happiness.

In the mean time I  saw two kids drenched in rain water splacing the pouring water on each other which reminded me again about the chieldhood when me along with my causins used to play in rain water and the mud .

 

 

It felt bad, sometimes I feel bad I have everything still I am not happy, I still wonder if I can go back in time and enjoy those moments again.

 

I still feel those Gus bump when I think about my mom who always think if I may get sick due to rain water.

Life has changed in last 10 years, the busy life business, we always think about money and growth of business hardly think about those days and parents who are getting older.

 

Sometimes now a days my mother waits till weekend to talk to me what she wanted to convey, thinking I may be susy or I might be busy wit other business issues.

Again the rain drop fell in my window making it thick again and dropped down again and again .

Really? Am I become so busy that my mom has to wait till weekend to convey the message till weekend so that I should not be worried along with my business issues?

I felt tears rolling out from my eyes, may be I am missing that hug which never demanded anything in return wanted to hug her but knowing that I am living too far from her I controlled myself.

Mostly in monsoon I avoid mom and try to get drenched in the initial monsoon, I love the smell of moist soil which comes out in the afternoon when the cattles return home and the moist soil comes out from earth while they run.

I missed those days when I used to sleep in my mom’s lap and she used to care me whole night when I fell sick due to weather change during rainy season.

I hate this mechanical life, going office eirly coming late, hardly time for those we really care. In the end what we get don’t have any value in relationship, may be down the time we will have everything but we will slowly loose those valuable relationship which made us who who I am today.

Do really all this worth, still I think as the rain drops get more and more ticker, I want to leave all these and go back to those times of chieldhood and live again. I fell in to deep thought and suddenly the lightning sound broke my thought and when I checked my silent cell phone it has already 15 missed call and 5 SMS from my manager asking the update about the current project update…

 

Then I realised I should get back to real life ….


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