Life Ls One Steep Cliff

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 14, 2017

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Submitted: July 14, 2017

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Hi, my name is Corey Michael Nelson; I was born on September 4, 1988, with Cerebral Palsy (CP). Cerebral Palsy is a motor system disorder. It has different effects on different individuals. Some People like myself have full functionality others may not.  Cerebral Palsy is caused due to lack of oxygen to the brain, near or during birth, the more time without oxygen the more severe. There is no cure for CP, it’s not hortatory and can’t get worse. In fact, it can get better. The first five years of my life I used a wheelchair and walker, I wore a helmet until I was ten because of how much I’d fall, and I wore leg braces every day. The older I got, the stronger I got.  I no longer needed a wheelchair or walker, and after my surgery, at the age of 11,  I no longer needed braces or a helmet.

 

I have a brother his name is Jake and was born on August 28, 1990. When I was 3, my Brother and I went into foster care because of severe physical and mental abuse, by both our mother and father.  My brother is legally blind because of shaken baby syndrome, from our mother. When I was six years old, we went back to our biological parents, but they did the same thing and abused us again, so we got taken again when I was 7, and their parental rights got revoked.  

 

We were lucky we had a good foster home. All but a few of the foster homes were good experiences for me. I was in a few group homes too which was also ok experiences; I went through years of counseling because of what happened to me.

 

The abuse was harsh, and the only time we were safe from it was out in public. My father was a drunk and a pervert, he exposed himself in our backyard one night. We suffered abuse daily. We got beaten with belts and paddles. Every night our father watched us sleep, if we opened our eyes, even slightly to blink, we’d get rubber bands shot at us. I get asked; “do you want to look for your parents” no I say. Hell no! they have no right even to know me. If I ever ran into them, I wouldn’t say a damn word, if I did it be, fuck you and die, honestly.  The last time I saw my parents, I was 7, and we were in the courthouse. I was being taken by my DCF worker to testify against my parents, but as soon as I got in the courtroom the judge ruled, and the ruling was; all parental rights terminated.

 

My brother and I lived together in a foster home until I was 13 years old. The family we lived with was great. My foster dad was a sheriff officer the mother stayed with us kids when we first go there our home was in Palm Harbor, FL a few years later we moved to a neighborhood called CountrySide in Clearwater FL. Our family had about ten people. 4 of their own who were older than us foster kids, and 3 or 4 foster kids at a time.  My Brother and I were the longest foster kids they had in their home.

 

While my brother and I live together we were inseparable we did almost everything together. We also both went to the same school together. Growing up my favorite time of the year was October to December. We had our home decorated for Halloween and Christmas. I watch dad put up Christmas lights every year. We had a big extended family and family friends. We made trips as a family together too, and they were fun. Our trips included Disney World, Busch Gardens, and road trips to Georgia, Tennessee- Smoky Mountains, and Louisiana.  Living in that family was great, and I was well behaved until 11.

 

I don’t know what happened but all a saddened in second grade I began to lose focus, and school became difficult. I just became a big slacker; I didn’t take the work, test, and grades seriously. I in-turned failed the second grade and took it again, but not in regular classes. From second grade on I was in Exceptional Student Education known as ESE. Most of the time I didn’t like it and wanted to be in the regular education class. Also in school, I was one of those kids that would go off easily if I was being made fun of, which happened a lot.

At ten years old, I had surgery done on both legs and heels to make me walk better. I was in casts for six weeks, and after that had to learn to walk again. After the surgery, I had to wear leg braces to bed every night, if I didn’t my legs would stay bent the entire night, making it very painful the next day.  However, after all the surgery made a big life improvement for me.

 

When I was about 12, I started to have serious behavioral problems like; being very defiant, running away, and not caring about anything or anyone. I'm not sure why I had had all these problems or why. I was backer acted about 15 times in 6 months because of my behavior and running away. Also, I moved to about seven different foster homes, in that same time span. I was almost adopted because I was extremely bad I never got adopted, some homes I was only there for as little as an hour, and the foster family I grew up with, with my brother took me back eight times. I never changed. In 2004 my brother and his family moved Georgia.

 

When I was 13 my brother, and I got separated. And he got adopted, and I got kicked out. At the time, my brother got adopted I was living with them, I was even in the courtroom as the adoption happened. After being kicked out, I went to a mental health program for teens with behavior issues. It was a lockdown faculty, but nothing like a detention center. We had outings, and I got along well with people there. When I entered the program, it had just started like less than a month ago. The program is called CAP, run by Personal Enrichment through Mental Health Services PEMHS I was in the program for four months then I moved to another foster. The new foster home was a therapeutic foster home ran with collaboration with PEMHS.  The foster home was a single parent home, aside from her role as a foster parent she had a full-time job. As far as I know, I was the longest foster child she had. I had one other foster brother there when I first moved in, after him I had another foster brother and two sisters after the second brother. One of my foster sisters I still have contact to this day. I was with this foster parent from age 13-17. Because this foster parent worked we would go to the library a lot; it was going to the library got me interested in web design and Information technology, because at the library I was always on the computer. I was also a volunteer in the library for a year and a half.

 

If I wasn’t at the library or school, I was at the boys and girls club. At the boys and girls club in Pinellas Park, Fl. At the club, there was a separate center for teens; it was the first teen center of its kind that opened. It was youth empowered and almost separate from the rest of the club. The teen center did outings together, dances, and more. Most outings were outside club hours, like late night or weekends. I was an active member of the teen center for about three years. When I first was there we had a snack bar; I worked it for a bit.  In 2004, I started Dixie Hollins High, in St. Petersburg, FL. My first semester of school I was placed in a class with much lower function students than myself by accident, it got fixed by the next semester.

 

We also had JROTC at my school, and after my determination, I was in JROTC in my second semester of high school. I got to take part in after school activates with JROTC; like being on honor Gard, fire a cannon at football games, and travel with my friends to drill meet’s, I couldn’t compete in the drill, but I could be there to support my team. I also practiced in fundraising events and toys for tots with JROTC.  I took web design classes too, web 1; nothing but HTML coding and web 2; using Adobe Dreamweaver. I also took a graphic arts class. I was a member of Feature Business Leaders of America FBLA and a peer mediator for a short time.  My senior year I was on my yearbook staff. I also went to Homecoming and Prom both my junior and senior year, as well as the military ball, JROTC dance, each year. All the JROTC programs in the county went to the ball.

 

Four months before I was 18 I was kicked out of my foster home. I moved to a therapeutic group home ran with collaboration with PEMHS. I got along well there and hardly ever got in trouble. At the time, I was finishing the 10th grade and was able to continue going to my regular school.  When I was 18, I moved to an Assertive Living home. I stayed there for 11 months. I felt so out of touch there. I was first in their main place in Safety Harbor, so I had an hour bus ride to school. Then I moved to their Pinellas Park place; they required everyone to be out by 7 am.

I started riding city buses at 15; my foster mom lets me because I wanted to, so I knew what I was doing. One day, in the summer of 2007, I was riding and met these girls, we quickly became friends, and instead of me being by myself or at that ALF I was with them, I stayed the night most times, went pool hopping, and had my first drink.  Towards the end of summer, I flew up to Georgia to see my brother I stayed up there for two weeks. It was great to get to see my brother again.

 

In August, I started my senior year I got to move out of the ALF, and in with one of my friend family.  To be honest, the family I moved in with was my garden ad-laden workers family. I was there for a little while even during the holiday season, but I went back up to Georgia for Christmas, and everyone I grew up was there, I felt like I was back home. That was my first Christmas with them since 2000. I flew back home New Year’s Eve. When I came back I still stayed with the same family I was with before I left. I was getting ready for my last semester of my senior year.

 

I had some friends in high school, but the only time we’d see each other was at school, I didn’t have anyone to chill with the outside of school. I started going to the local mall a lot because it was just something to do. I’d became what you’d call a mall rat. One day I met a nice girl who worked at a kiosk, and we began talking a lot. After a few weeks we were best friends, we were always hanging out every time she wasn’t working, we got to know each other well. However, she had a boyfriend; he was always out of town working.  One night we went to a dinner and a movie, at this point we were hanging out for like four months, I got caught up at the moment as we were sitting in the theater and asked, “Can I put my arm around you.” She said, no.  The next day she said, on a phone call “I don’t appreciate you hitting on me. We can’t be friends anymore.” I was crushed and wasn’t trying to hit on her, I thought, so I just lost my best friend. I was very depressed for weeks, and one night I couldn’t take it anymore. I got home too late from a movie, and the family said we're kicking you out, I then grabbed all my medication and ate every pill. I nearly succeed killing myself. The thing I knew I was in an ambulance. I had to have my stomach pumped, and I was in and out of sleep for days. After the hospital, I went to another ALF for three weeks then at age 19 I had my place. It was a 500sf studio in Downtown St. Pete. I graduated from Dixie M. Hollins High School on June 3, 2008. About three days after I moved into my apartment by myself.

 

educational program for people who graduated high school with a special diploma. It was easy to easy for me. But I didn’t quite know what I wanted to do with my life just yet.  One day when I was roaming the mall I met a girl who worked there, she envied me out with her after she got off work. We when to a store, back to her place and out on the town. I was 20, but she snuck me in the club with her. After the club, we to a cab to get some food, then back to her place. That night I lost my virginity. After that night, we played house for like a week. I didn’t Want it to end, but it did.

 

In the summer of 2009, I heard about a program that I quilted for, and that had my interested, the program was IT summer camp but on through WorkNet Pinellas. We got $250 a week, and working in depth with Microsoft Office. One-day staff asked me “are you in college?” no, I said. “Your work is great, you need to go to college, you can do it,” they said. I said, well I have a special diploma, I think if I get my GED to go. “go do it,” they said. A month later I entered a GED program.  I also started working at a local café part time, I was a busser, and it was like 500 feet away from my apartment. I turned 21 a few weeks later. Being that I lived downtown, I started going out a lot to bars and clubs on Friday and Saturday nights.  One night I met a girl, and we became best friends. Within two weeks we were hanging out daily. I quickly became friends with one of her best friends and her boyfriend. We had a huge party on New Year's Eve, but I took my limit too far and ended up in the ER.

 

I hated being single, and I put an ad on craigslist looking for a girlfriend, within a few weeks got what I was looking for, but, she lived 45 minutes from me in Brandon, FL. Most of the time I went here, she stayed with her mom being that she has the same disability I do, just a bit more worse.  Our first meet was at a mall in Tampa, but less than a month later we started dating. I’d see her and stay at her mom’s house almost every weekend. I got a new apartment in St. Pete 2 weeks before we met.

 

In the summer of 2010, I graduated from the GED; I also did another WorkNet Pinellas IT camp. I started St. Petersburg College that fall. Two weeks late on my 22nd birthday my girlfriend and I got engaged. As it got closer to my move, I started transferring all my schooling stuff from St. Pete College to Hillsborough Community College (HCC). It took weeks and a lot of time. Six times in a few months I rode the bus 7 hours from my place in St. Pete to HCC. On New Year’s Day, I moved from St. Pete to Riverview. Two weeks later I started HCC, and three weeks later, on February 4th, I got married. I envied my brother and foster parents down to my wedding; the came down from Georgia. My brother was a part of my wedding as my best mom. For our honeymoon, we went to Disney for four days. My wife’s sister and boyfriend when with us to help take us around and help with my wife’s personal needs.

 

My marriage was good for like the first year, but then we just argued to match, plus her family got too involved, and she got too lazy. Now my wife is smart and was a University of South Florida (USF) student, but there were some life choices she wasn’t smart about. When we had first got tighter she had a helper that got her to the point to where she was more independent than she has ever been but, the second she lost that worker, her independence went too. The only two things I did wrong, to some, not to others, was watching porn, drinking beer, and sometimes breaking my own shit out of anger. Even when I was married, I still liked going out to bars and the mall, my wife, was always invited she just choose not to go. Her family began to always put droughts in her head about me and sometimes she believed it.  My wife was a big sports fan, she liked and watched every sport except NASCAR, golf, and basketball. I took her to every sporting event in the area.

 

The arguing between us was getting old and got worse and worse. When we let her sliding stay with us, nothing was kept just between my wife and me. I got my first job in May at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Tampa, FL. Me having a job began to piss my wife off because she wanted to work but had trouble finding a job. She was also upset that I had the job while in school and she just got her degree, but nobody had hired her yet.  Also, a bunch of people went out after work weekly to the same bar; I started going out too after a year of working there.  My wife was always invited to join me. On our third wedding anniversary, she said: “I’ve been jealous of your job, I keep thinking your gonna find someone better at work and leave me.” I was upset, why would I do that. I do not look for other people while I’m with someone.  We got separated two days later, on February 6th, I was hurt, and this was in my last semester before graduating from Hillsborough Community College. After this, I just worked a lot. I fell two weeks behind in school, but my teachers understood and were ok with me turning in late work. I doubled my hours at work and went out a lot after work. After a month, my wife came back just for a place to stay for 2 months. It was awkward.

 

On May 5, 2014, I graduated from HCC with an A.S. degree in web design. It was nice having a degree. I was alone outside of work all summer, so I began hanging out with people in my neighborhood, wasn’t the best crowd, but I was lonely. On July 13th I got divorced, I took it hard and the rest of the year was rough and lonely. I applied for USF that summer but got denied because of a math grade. I was allowed graduate HCC with one D because I was I an applied science degree. My one D was in college algebra, however, to admit into USF, I needed one college level math with a C or better. So, fall of 2014 I went back to HCC for one semester. It was hard because I let this dumb ass roommate move in. Now I wanted a few house parties, but the roommate took it out of control. I had parties at my house almost every night; I'd sometimes get home and see random people in my apartment unexpectedly. I had trouble studying and doing homework for school. I cut my arm one night because I was so mad, I had a failed marriage, a roommate who was disrespectful and could do well in most classes. But I got through it, got the B in math, and in January got the roommate out and started USF. A few months later I met a new girl online and dated for a month. She broke up with me, for no reason, she wasn’t thinking and regrets it to this day. 

 

In the summer, I move one of my old roommates' back in, I wanted the company, and he was like a brother to me. I also had my first ever vacation scheduled off work. Originally it was for June, but because work needed me to it was rescheduled for July.

 

Towards the end of July, I took my first vacation from work and went for seven days to south beach Miami.  I left on a Tuesday taking the mega bus. It was $1 each way, but I paid $29 because I missed my scheduled departure, which was in the morning. The bus ride was 5 and a half hours and took me for Downtown Tampa to Miami Airport. From the airport, I took bus 150 the Miami Beach flyer. I had trouble finding my hostel and was kind lost; a nice man helped me by walking around with me to find my hostel. I stayed at Bikini Hostel on West Ave.  The Hostel was $15 per night and had a full café & bar. The first night I wanted to go out for a drink, I found one of the cheapest coolest bars in South Beach, Lost Weekend. They have pictures of beer for $14; most bars charge $7 for one beer. The next day I went to a beach, now I consider myself a nudist at heart so after searching the internet with my phone I was happy I found a clothing optional beach, just north of Bel Harbor.  Haulover Beach is a part of Miami and has a half mile nude section. I was there for 5 hours, on Wednesday.

 

Thursday, I stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, FL. The room was very nice with a great view. I got a discounted rate because I work for the company. I drank a lot through the night; I also met up with a friend from back home that I hadn't seen in years. I gambled a bit and finally went into my room around 4 am. I checked back into Bikini Hostel on Friday, after spending 5 hours at Haulover Beach. That night I went to a club called Mansion the club promoter that visits the hostels gave me free admission. The club was very big and something I’ve never seen, beer was $13, so I only had 2 and left after only an hour and a half in the club. I went back to Haulover Beach that Saturday and spent the entire day, that night I met a group of people at the hostel after like an hour of hanging out they said that were are going out; they ask me to go with them. I said that I couldn’t spend any more money, they said: “we got you covered.” I went. We walked 45 minutes from one side of the island to the other. We went to one club for 2 hours and had a VIP table. Then we all followed one guy who wanted to go to a gay bar; we were there until 4:45 in the morning, a few people and myself were very tired, we ubered back to the hostel while some people walked back and stayed the last 15 more minutes. Sunday, I went to Haulover Beach again and Monday I took the bus back to Tampa.

 

My first time traveling, I was nervous at first, but that went away in a few days. This trip opened me up and made me want to travel more. Being in a hostel for the first time was scary at first, but I got to meet people and interact with people. I then knew if I’d travel again, I’d choose a hostel to stay in.

In November, I started chatting with a girl online, we exchanged numbers quickly we talked on and off for months, in the meantime, I still with her ok, contained my travels. In December of 2015 York City for New Year's Eve. I flew there; I had a big problem finding the hostel. It wasn't really a hostel anyway; it was just a guy renting out a room in his apartment. I contacted the travel provider which gave me some credits, so my first night in NYC some girl let me crash, I went to New in her spare room. I was able to find hostels for the remainder of my stay. I was only in NYC for five days; I spent a lot of time in Time Square where I went to Dave N’ Busters quite a bit. I took the bus system only a couple of times because I mostly used the subway to get around. It was a nice experience except for the first night; I was there on New Year’s Eve.

I got back home and went on with my life, with school, work, etc. I made a big mistake by signing up for seven classes and soon regretted it. I also got wrapped up in the girl l was talking to before I left on my trip For New York. Between January and March, we talked on and off, because of her crazy self. One week after she had me already hooked she said, “let’s stop talking, I have cancer, I can’t get serious.” So, I honored what she said; we had no connection for two weeks. Then she starts messaging me again. She wants me and doesn’t have cancer. For my next trip, I wanted to do it for spring break, so I did.  

 

My spring break was 11 days or so after my best friends/ roommate’s birthday, so I paid for him to go with me. We went down to Miami from Tampa for a week; it started out good for us both at first. He spent a little too much money at first then we went to the Hollywood hard rock casino and Hooters, we spent more. By the fourth day, we were just about broke.  I spent every free minute talking to the girl. We were going to be together, and I bought her a bus ride to Tampa, she’d arrive two days after I returned from my vacation in Miami. Meanwhile, in Miami, my friend lost control and got himself kicked out of the hostel we were in, my money down the drain. He had no room for the rest of the trip, like four more days.  My friend and I would hang out at night, during the day I'd be up to the road at the nude beach. When we returned home, my friend moved out. He wasn’t on the lease, so I was told by my landlord to put him out.

 

My girl came two days later. And I’d start a six month on/off relationship that I’d regret. At first, I’m feeling great, school’s going well, work is too, and I got my girl and her daughter at home. I never wanted it to end; the first two weeks were great between her and I we loved every minute of each other’s company. But soon my friend started being in the picture. After two weeks of it just being her and me, my friend would start coming back to the house to chill, even if I wasn’t there he’d chill in my place with my girl. The arguments soon started between us, and most of the time they were over nothing. Within a few weeks she left me for my best friend, she didn’t even break up with me she just left. It was mothers day, I bought her a $90 worth of flowers from pro-flowers, I went to work, expected her to be there, but when I returned home from work she wasn’t. I also found a love note on my bed from her to my friend. I called someone; we went to the bar for a few hours, then I returned home.

 

She then came back to pretend to check up on me as if she gave a damn and quickly ran back out, I tried to follow her but couldn’t keep up. Then I cut myself to try and slit my wrists; I called the police myself to say that I was killing myself. The cut on my wrist was deep enough to leave a scarred which is still there today. A month later my friend messed up with her, and she came to plead me to take her back, I didn’t want to, but I did. She said that I was a great guy and she’d never leave me again. She even swears that on her daughter. A month later we have one big argument, she sleeps on the couch, the next day she says; “I’m going for a walk, I promise I'll be back, two days go by no sign of her. The third day I see her with my best friend, she left me again for him.

 

She came back a month later when I was stuck on bed rest. I’d burn myself at work, got a second degree burn on my right leg. Again like before it was great for the first two weeks, but then she started talking to another guy. She did not care how it hurt me she did it anyway. At 2, 4, and 4 in the morning, she was on her phone with this other guy, for an hour or longer. She said, “he’s just a friend.” But she’s talking sexually to him, saying baby, I love you, etc. She tried to accuse me of abuse and even called the police on me.  The last time she called they made her leave, and that was the end of our relationship, she was still mean to me on the phone and Facebook. She tried to say I was stocking her, but It was the other way around. She went through one of my coworkers and used her sister's Facebook to send me messages becauseI blocked her on Facebook and changed my phone number. Since more lies had spared, like me messaging everyone in her family about her, I stopped using Facebook all tighter for three months.

 

I started talking to someone else a week later; she was homeless living in her friend's van. Her friend was some old guy, and she swears he was only her friend. In the six weeks I told her everything, she seemed very nice, supportive and understanding but soon that would change. We got tighter six weeks later and stayed tighter for three months. The entire time I came second to her best friend all because she wanted to keep hold of the van. She made me move a couple into my place, which was the biggest mistake ever. Most of the time they didn’t clean up after themselves, and they thought they could talk to me anyway the wanted. Every Saturday she was out with her best friend while I was alone, she even stayed in motels with him twice. But she couldn’t share a room with me her boyfriend. She was very controlling with me. I spent about $6,000 in the 3 months on her and the house for her. In December, she went to see her brother in California; I paid for her to go because I wanted her to have a chance to see him. We had an argument over text message, and she never came back. She said she loved me and wanted to be with me, but in our relationship, her actions did not back up what she was telling me. So I once again was single.

 

In January 2017, I started my last semester at USF. I had only three online classes. I found one of them to be harder than expected and another to be just frustrating. The class that was hard didn’t measure up to my ideal. And no matter how well I thought I did, I didn’t get above a C on a single assignment. In the other class, we were in a group the entire time. My group had communication issues.

 

For my last spring break, I went down to Miami; I flew down right after work. This time I did not go to the Hollywood Hard Rock, instead, I  just stayed on the beach. One afternoon I went on a party boat, where we were taken to a privet island and had a cook out. It was so much fun, and well worth $65.00. I went to hang out on South Beach a few times, and it was crowded. All the college students packed one small section of the beach. The beach stretches for a few miles, but only like a block was packed, the same block, every day. After spring break I only had five weeks of school left, and five weeks until graduation. On the 6th of May, I walked in the graduation ceremony graduating with my bachelor's degree in IT. I had a big party at a bar the next evening, about 50 people from work showed up, I thank them all and had a lot of fun.

I’ve always wanted to go to Los Angela’s, CA. and right after graduation I did. It was my gift to myself for getting my bachelor’s degree. I left Orlando airport at about 3:30 P.M. on Thursday, May 11th, one of my supervisors gave me a ride.  I went for a week and a half, with three days spent in San Diego. My first full day I toured the Doby Theater and also took a trolley tour around Hollywood. With the next two days being the weekend, I just explored. On Saturday, I walked around a mall for a few hours and then went to Venice. And Sunday I didn’t do much besides grocery shopping, staff from my hostel was nice enough to give me a ride to and from a grocery store.  The hostel I stayed at was very nice, unlike a hostel I've been at before. It was a mansion with a guest house. The staff was very nice and friendly too, and if I ever visit LA again, I’ll stay there again. I also made some friends almost instantly.

 

I toured two studios while I was in LA. Sony Pictures on Monday, May 15th, and Warner Bros. on Tuesday, May 16th. I visited Santa Monica after the tour on Monday but didn’t stay there long. And Tuesday I went to Hollywood after my tour. The tours were nice; I have mad respect for all who create movies and TV. It takes a lot of hard work, long hours, and creativity to make a TV show and/or movie.

 

To save money I didn’t do much on Wednesday, I just stayed at the hostel, also on that day I announced on Facebook that I was writing this book. I spent hours on a computer I was allowed to use, just writing away. In that one day, I'd written a few pages of this book.  Thursday, I checked out Long Beach but was only there for a very short time. I went to San Diego that Friday. I stayed at a nice hostel and made a friend right away. The hostel was nice and at a good spot in downtown San Diego. I went to check out a nudist beach while I was there. That a friend at a nudist beach in Miami told me about, It was very hard to get to, and I was warned, in fact, to access this beach I walked down the 300-foot cliff that is on the cover of this book. I stayed at the beach for a few hours. Friday and Saturday I went out to a prime location in downtown, then I did nothing on Sunday.

 

My flight back home was Monday night. About 1:30 pm I returned to LA from San Diego. I stayed in the Hollywood area for about 6 hours. Hanging out at Hard Rock Cafe, Hooters, and Dave N’ Busters. I got to LAX about 9:15 P.M. my flight that was due to leave at 10:10 left at 10:45, I got back to the Orlando airport at 6:45 the following morning. Right now, I’m currently looking for a new job, because I want to use my degree. I’m also looking at more education too.

 


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