A letter to my daughter on my first father's day

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
my daughter turned 6 months old around fathers day. i had these writings in my head when i lay down at night and had to get up and start typing. this writing describes my love for my daughter.

Submitted: July 19, 2017

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Submitted: July 19, 2017

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I know I can’t do much on my own and that you have to teach me how to do everything, but even though I’m a lot of work, will you always be happy to be my daddy?

A Letter To My Daughter, On My First Father’s Day:

My little princess, you are far beyond the little girl of my dreams. You are the handy work of God. He knitted you together with the very best parts that he knitted your mommy and I together with. He created you so wonderfully you surpass what I can comprehend or dream into existence. I think of you constantly, while I’m mowing the yard, studying, running, or even in my sleep.

I have to ask myself; how will I have the strength to resist buying you the world? I get a tear in my eyes when I think about you calling me dad for the first time. How am I qualified for such an honor as this? How will I have the courage to say “no” when you look up at me with your big round eyes and grab my finger with your small innocent hands? How will I ever have the firmness of heart to discipline you when you do wrong? It will surely hurt me more than it does you. You are not old enough to discipline yet, but I know the day is coming. I anticipate having to hurry to a separate room to cry after the first time it happens.

How will I have the fortitude in one short year to watch you gain independence as you learn to walk? How will I be able to digest the moment when you have the ability to walk away then turn and look back as if you are happy for your new found independence? I will wonder how you got there so fast, even though I will always be happy for your accomplishments.

I will celebrate and praise all of your achievements and life milestones. From your first time rolling over, we cheered, then years later on your sweet-sixteen birthday with all the sparkling moments in-between. At this time you will gain further independence when you are able to drive a car, in which I will have to ask God to protect you even more. Then beyond, up to and including any honors, degrees, or as hard as it will be one day, when perhaps you find another man whom will take care of you, another man’s hand to hold and to smile at, another man to care and provide for you. How will I have the ability to let go?

Even though you’re a lot of work, am I happy to be your dad, you ask?

When your mommy and I asked God for you, we were as poor as we ever were. But God answered our prayers, said it was time, and that he would provide a way. And he did, and we were so happy of the news about you. I had to rush into the hospital in-between my two job schedules, to hear your heart beat and see you for the first time in your mother’s womb, I wouldn’t have missed it, and I was so excited. This was totally new to me. You are my very first. When I first heard your heart, knowing God formed you together and you were alive and well, from this moment on I knew I was always going to place you before myself and that I would always be happy to be your dad.

Others told me I didn’t know how much a baby would change my life, how much a baby would make my life busier than it already was, and how much other stuff I would have to give up… I had no idea. But I did know I was up for the challenge and I always will be. When I saw you in the womb and heard your delicate heart-beat, I was happy to be your dad.

As anxious as we were to meet you, you made us wait a week past your due date. Not only that, but your mommy was in labor for 13 hours and pushed intensely for 3 hours as I stood by and encouraged her. You still would not make an appearance. So the doctor had to take you and mommy to the operating room and you had to meet us a different way late at night on December 21, 2016. You were here, finally. I cried as I held you and I held your mommy’s hand in the operating room while the doctor closed up your mommy’s tummy and I prayed and thanked God for the safety of my new little family. I had tears of joy to be holding you but tears of sadness for the pain your mommy was in.

But out you came; beautiful, perfect, energetic, and the only Avarie in the world. My heart never felt so warm. Before you were ever even born, you taught me patience. I was so proud to finally hold you and look into your bright eyes… I was very happy to be your dad. In that moment, you were so innocent and pure, you were my best glimpse of heaven and I was in awe at the wonder God created. I had to ask God If I was worthy of such a large and important responsibility, to raise a little girl, and if I would be able to raise you in the right way. He said for 30 years he prepared me and that he would provide a way.

We spent a couple days after your delivery in the cold hospital room on the second floor together. It was the middle of December and there was a lot of cold air coming in from outside. I was wrapped up in coats and sweatshirts, your mommy was wrapped in bandages, and you were wrapped up tightly in soft swaddling blankets wearing your cute little pink hat.

Finally, we loaded up a hospital cart with all the flowers, cards, and gifts you received and prepared as a family to head to your first little yellow home on Hamilton Street, where your freshly painted and decorated room was waiting on your arrival. It was completed with the most meticulous decorating in hopes you would like it and want to stay. I was outside with the car warming it up as I pulled up to the front hospital door. Your mommy was in a wheelchair, you were in a car seat, and I was in the driver’s seat.

Even though you’re a lot of work, am I happy to be your dad, you ask?

These first time parents didn’t have a clue what we were doing, but we were doing the best we could, and I was very happy to be your dad. I never drove as carefully as I did when you were in the car for the first time. I was driving at least 15 mph under the speed limit and actually using the turn signal, yelling “baby on board” out the window every time someone would pass me that was probably just going the speed limit.

We got you home just a few days before your very first Christmas. We had white Christmas lights on the house, bright colored lights on the bushes by the front porch, and your mother’s favorite wreath on the front door, hoping you would like the decorations to welcome you home. I put them up during a rainy day but I was running out of time and it had to be done. I wanted you to see the lights. We brought you inside and gently sat you in front of the Christmas tree your mommy had decorated in all her gingerbread ornaments and your own first Christmas ornament was among them. Your mommy and I sat together, exhausted, thanking God for you as you stared wide-eyed at the lights on the Christmas tree (yes we have pictures). And I was so very happy to be your dad. Bath times with you, watching you play with your rubber ducky, came to be some of the most fun I have ever had.

The months passed, the time came for you to get your first immunizations in your soft little legs. Your sweet big smile disappeared suddenly and you cried, then your mommy cried, then your daddy cried and wished so bad he could have taken you out for ice cream or shopping to get a beautiful dress to help ease the pain you had to endure. When we left I grabbed a grape sucker off the counter to keep from crying even more, after all, I deserved it. I constantly prayed as I do now that God would allow your life to be as painless as possible. I tried to be tough and let you know that I was so very happy to be your dad.

Then your baby dedication came, where a decision was made by your mommy and me to dedicate your life to the Lord and offer you back to him, that you might serve the Lord with your life and that he could use you in mighty ways. I understood what a precious gift you are and in that, as much as I love you, you ultimately belong to God first. He knew you way before I did. He formed your being, your beauty, and allowed little ole me, to be your daddy. God knew exactly who he was creating when he formed you in your mother’s womb. And as proud as I am of you, I can’t begin to take credit for any of how God has created you, my little miracle. You were dedicated in a beautiful service at a church called Maranatha Tabernacle on a quiet mountain, where you wore a precious white dress your mommy wore for her dedication when she was about your same age. It was an emotional service offering back to God such a wonderful gift. I was very happy to be your dad. I don’t want to think about the next time I may have to present you to someone else… in a different white dress. That will come all too soon.

Finally, a day I have been waiting on to celebrate you for making me a dad has arrived, Father’s Day. You have on a light green wavy dress with a white collar and a big white bow that rests perfectly above your round face. We match perfectly. You look more beautiful today than ever! You simply take my breath away and I get nervous when I hold you. Your smile makes me want to lead you through your life and carefully scout out your paths, or check the school bus before you get on to make sure it’s safe, or sit in the back of your class during your first years of school to make sure no one is mean to you. But I know I will have to let you go. I must be thankful for every day I get to see you. Our lives are only a vapor. You have already grown so much. And at times all I will be able to do is pray. Pray and thank God for allowing me to be a part of your life. Whether it’s for one day or 70 years, at which point you will have to take care of me. Pray and ask God to give me guidance as your dad, pray and ultimately ask God to take your little hand and be your heavenly father everywhere you go. He can protect you way better than I can.

I will always be proud of you, I will always be here to offer you comfort and shelter, and I will always be supportive of you. I am your biggest fan and I will ALWAYS be happy to be your dad.

Avarie, you have already taught me more than I can ever teach you.  I know I’m a lot of work and hard to put up with. But, will you always be happy that I’m your daddy?

I Love You.


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