Dreams

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Nothing but a dream...

Submitted: July 19, 2017

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Submitted: July 19, 2017

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I remember you. How can I forget?

I remember the funny things, every day we spent together. I always wanted to see the world and marveled at every single new thing we learnt and discovered together. You were the risky one, always looking for the most wild, scary, weird, and exciting things. I just followed your lead, just let you show me the world the way you saw it. Through your eyes, everything seemed to be different, more complex, more significant. It is as if you had this magical power to shut down the world around, and make everything else stops but us. And I loved that about you.

I used to think: "I wanna be like you. I wanna be always with you." However, you were so different from the others. Love wasn't defined in your dictionary the way we use to get it. "Sentiments make us weaker, character makes us stronger", you used to say. "Loneliness is a gift", you used to say. You cherished strength, fierceness and faithfulness, but love was just a sign of vulnerability for you. Therefore, you didn't let me love you. I wasn't supposed to love you. Even though, I ended up loving you, everyday more and more, secretly and on my own.

I used to stare at you, wondering if there was any chance that you actually felt the same way about me. I remember those times when you looked at me, then smiled and said something totally crazy. I laughed so hard, even when the joke wasn't funny. Then you put your hand on my shoulder, leaned a little trying to tell me something. It was always something related to the joke, but I never paid attention to what you said afterwards. I just recall the sound of your voice, so smooth, so clean. Every other sound faded away. Every other thing didn't matter anymore. Just that moment, with you. 

I also remember the sad moments. You used to say that I am a crybaby, and let's be honest: I am. I never saw you crying, but you were used to hold my hand and stand right up for me whenever I needed you. Your shoulder is full of my tears. You didn't say anything, just stayed there, holding on till I was done with all the drama. Then, after listening to every crying and whining, you used to say: "let's move on; life isn't over after all." Always the same words, but they worked. 

What did you do when you were alone? I'll never know. I never asked, because you would never tell. Were you thinking about me? Were you planning what our next adventure together will be?Or were you having adventures on your own? I can't tell. For me, the only things I know about you are the ones I've learnt while being with you. I don't know about your life before I met you, we never talked about that. We didn't talked about anything besides me. You were so interested in knowing about my life, my struggles, my dreams, my aspirations. But I was so selfish; I used to talk and talk, while you listened carefully to every single foolishness of mine. I never asked back: "and how was your day?". I was so entertained whining about everything. Now I am sorry I never asked about you. Maybe that's why you are gone now, and it hurts so bad.

Was any of this real? That question comes over my mind every time. There is no answer, just a void sensation of insecurity and despair. I go to the same places we used to go, but you are not waiting for me anymore.  I wait for hours, hoping you will appear, but you never come. I stay up late watching through my windows, but you don't show up; you won't show up.

The only thing that I have to hold on to are my dreams. I close my eyes just to see you there, waving your hand and calling me out of my house; smiling as always, as if nothing has changed. Then I wake up to realize it all has been a dream. A dream more desirable than life itself. A dream that I want to repeat over and over. A dream that is my refuge when life gets tough.  At the end of the day, I have nothing but a dream.

May I stay here with you, forever?


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