Collect Call From Mr. Murder

Reads: 28  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 1  | Comments: 5

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Another Harley murder tale!

Submitted: July 22, 2017

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Submitted: July 22, 2017

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Harley Waverson smiled a diabolical smile when he thought how much fun he'd had dispatching, what was his name, Paul? Yeah, Paul. of course, Harley didn't have a face any longer, as he was now a rotary phone, but anyone looking close might have seen the faint outline of in the numbers. Now, he was on his way to the home of Cal Collard, having been picked by Paul's third cousin, twice removed, at least that's what he'd overheard the man say. The name didn't matter to Harley, all he cared about was the fact he had his next victim lined up!

 

 

Cal Collard put the rest of his new purchases away, then picked up his new phone, the one he'd picked up for dirt cheap at the garage sale of his distant cousin, Paul. He barely knew him, and was sorry he'd met an unfortunate end, but one man's bad luck was his gain. He'd bought several items he needed, the phone being one of them. He called Guido's Pizza;

 

'Hello, Guido's Pizza, Gene speaking; can I take your order?"

 

"Yes, hi Gene, I'd like to order a large Guido Sardine And Candied Yam Special."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"No, just kidding, I'd like a large pepperoni with regular crust."

 

"Sure, I'll just need your address."

 

 

Cal hung up the phone, deciding to have a bit of fun until the pizza arrived in a half hour or so. He dialed the operator, armed with a number for a grocery store he'd chosen at random from the phone book.

 

"Operator," answered a female voice.

 

"Yes, I'd like to call McCheese Market collect, at 555-1234."

 

"One moment, sir, name?"

 

"Ned Wrangle."

 

He heard the sound of ringing, then,

 

"McCheese Market, Dylan speaking."

 

"This is the operator, will you accept a collect call from Ned Wrangle?"

 

"Who? Certainly not."

 

"I'm sorry, sir, but he refused."

 

"Oh, damn, I was going to ask him if they had Prince Albert in a can!"

 

"Do you know how pathetic and obvious that tired joke is?"

 

After a few seconds of no answer, she tried again, "Sir, did you hear what I said?"

 

But, Cal was a little preoccupied by the phone cord which had wrapped itself around his neck. He dropped the receiver and desperately tried to get his hands underneath the choking chord, but to no avail. The operator shrugged her shoulders and hung up, while Cal fought a losing battle with the demon-chord. His struggles went on for another minute or so, til his fish-out-of-water act ceased.

 

 

Harley smirked, and soaked up the feeling, until the police broke down the door a couple days later, after neighbors became concerned by his unanswered door bell. 

 

 

 


© Copyright 2017 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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