The Lies We Share

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
It's not so much THAT we fight so much as WHAT we fight about... and in the end, we realize that trying to continue to fight loses focus on the true problem. Am I really better than you?

Submitted: July 22, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: July 22, 2017



It’s hilarious

Watching kid’s fight


The dumbest things


My dad’s better than your dad

The verbal anger that ensues

As kids’ voices grow louder

Trying to best each other


The funny face

They make

As they try to conjure

Reasons why they are better than each other


Well, my dad does…

Well, my dad does too

Well, my mom does…

Well, my mom does that

But she also does this


They bawl their fists

As their anger heightens

Who will win??


The debate takes a steep turn

Uses one’s parents will not ensure victory


Well I can do…

Well so can I.

I like…

So do I.


I have…

Well I have 15.


But the best part of the fight

Is when the comparisons

Take a turn for the worst

When kids reveal just how

Terrible they really are…


Instead of comparisons

With material posessions

It becomes comparisons

Of character

The darker side of their consciousness


But in a game of who’s better

Anything goes

They are oblivious to the audience around them


And so what was once a little petty fight between 10 year olds

Becomes criminal

And it’s fucking hilarious


Well I was the one who got an A and didn’t even study

Kid B frowns. Kid A has got a point

Kid B: Well Suzy Q gave me a kiss

The crowd gasps. The score is tied.

Kid A: Well I have the most friends. And Suzy did that on a dare

Burn. 2:1


Kid B takes a moment to think.

That was harsh

Kid B: Well she’s never kissed you

Attack on character? These kids aren’t playing anymore

Where the fuck is the teacher??

Nah, this is actually entertaining

(But really, where is she??)


Kid A crosses his arms against his chest

Kid B copies the movement.

Classmates are becoming more interested

Suzy Q is pissed at both of them


Kid A: Remember that vase in your house that we’re not supposed to touch? I was the one that broke it that day.

Kid B: That’s why you’re not allowed to come over anymore

Kid A: I never invited you to my bday party because no one in class likes you

Kid B: So what, it’s not like they like you either. They’re just scared of you

Kid B really needs to step up. He’s been playing defense for too long.


Kid A: Well I’m the biggest in the class. The smartest and the fastest too

Kid B looks a little down. Is he going to give up? Everyone is watching, including Suzy Q.

Kid B: Really?

I think Kid B has lost!!! The bully can’t win again.

Kid A pauses. He’s not sure how to fight back.

Does he throw out another retort?

No. Just silence.


Kid B cocks his head to the side

His smile is widening

What’s he got up his sleeve?

Kid B: Then how come you failed our last test? How come every time we go to P.E., you’ve got some injury from a sports team you’re not even on? How come you’re the biggest in the entire class, yet you’re the dumbest person I’ve ever met? How come we’ve been fighting all morning, yet everyone is rooting for me not you??


Oh shit. Kid A is just standing there.

There’s not much he can say.

He’s been called out

And every kid in class knows it


Not to mention the fact that

Everyone only hangs with Kid A

Because he’s got money

And he creates fear


But Kid B…

Look at the balls on Kid B


They’re just staring

The class is quiet,

Everyone leaning forward in their seats

What’s the next move?


The door bangs open

The teacher walks in

Another ‘oh shit’ moment


The teacher glares at me.

“Sylvester, get off the desk this moment.”

I’ve been found out

But I haven’t been really trying to hide it


“I told you to stop narrating things.”

Oh, but it’s so much fun

The teacher takes my makeshift microphone

Her eyes are scanning the classroom

Everyone is silent


Kid A and B are still standing next to each other

It’s tense

And then…

The first fist is thrown




The teacher shouts for help

She grabs me by my collar

“I told you to stop instigating things!!”

Oh but it’s so much fun.

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