The Mind of a Troubled Boy in Love

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story describing the thoughts and feelings of a teen boy struggling with the sadness of his own life while being deeply in love with the girl of his dreams.

Submitted: July 22, 2017

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Submitted: July 22, 2017



There was a boy who loved a girl. And the girl had no idea. It was so obvious to see. But she was blinded by the friendship. Too blind to realize the guy who wanted her most, the guy who would treat her the best, was the one who always messed up. The guy who was inexperienced. For she had done it all. A little bit of everything. He hadn't done any of it. And she knew that. He had had a sip of his dad's beer. And seen his brother roll a joint. But that was as close as he came to drunk and high. He had kissed a girl, and touched a girl. But never under her clothes. He was new to the world, and the world was new to him. And how could she love a man, who didn't know what he was doing? Eventually she gave him a chance, it was a day he would never forget. When she laid her head upon his shoulder, he saw all his hard work had paid off. All his time and money and efforts had worked. But now was the issue. Would she stick with him? Through all his issues. For all that time. The boy didn't know what he was doing. He hadn't been in a serious relationship before. He did his best to do what girls said they liked on Instagram and twitter. Would it work? It appeared to. She said she loved him more than any of the others, and there were a lot to choose from. But no words she ever said, could boost his self-confidence. As much as she tried, which meant a lot to the boy, he could never stay happy for long. Her efforts made him love her more. And it was so sweet that she cared and tried. But he was stuck in a ditch in his life. And she had only gotten him halfway out. But now he's so worried. That she will fall in with him. He can't do that to her. She means too much to him. He doesn't know what to think anymore. This girl is his everything. But all his issues and all his worries. He doesn't know what to do. He will never leave her, and never cheat. But what if she left him? She says she won't and he hopes she means it. The future scares him so much. So much time for her to lose her feelings. He never stops trying, never stops thinking, never stops doing the best he possibly can. But he's not good at this. Relationships aren't his thing. Nothing really is. His talents are limited to the one thing he has fun doing. Writing. He can't decide what to do with his life. Can't decide what to say. He's sad. And lonely. But she's always there for him. Hopefully she always will be. He worries so much. When she goes to parties. When she drinks. When she smokes. When she's doing something and he can't be there to protect her. To help her. To do it with her. So what should he do about it? He thought about the worst of them all. To leave. To let her find somebody who won't bring her down like he does. Although he does his best to pick her up. But he could never leave. The pain it would cause him would leave a scar that would never heal. And the pain it would cause her would only worsen the injury. So he can't do that. It's not an option. Just a thought that crossed his sad mind one night. So what should he do? What could he do? As his mental state only decreases, he still spends all his time on her. Never focusing on himself. He can't. He must keep her happy. He has to constantly prove to her that he's worth her time. He can't think anymore. He doesn't know what to do. Hating himself because all the love in his heart has gone toward her. She's the best thing that's ever happened to him. And the best thing that ever will. His heart can't take it sometimes. For it beats so fast with all his worries. He prays that she never leaves. Even though he questions his beliefs. She has his heart, but his heart is so fragile. Never been broken but too scared of the future. She must never leave him. Or he will truly die. Not physically. But mentally. And emotionally he will be alive but barely moving. As the only emotions he would feel from then on would be sadness, and regret. Wondering what he did wrong. So as the boy in the story. Writing this on my lonely night. I have a message for the girl. If you ever read this, and I don't know if you will. I really hope you never leave. I could never handle it. I couldn't move on. I know if you read this you will cry, as it is a very sad story. But you've made my life better than I ever knew it could be. Even as my sanity deteriorates. You keep me up. You keep me happy. And I'm terribly sorry if I bring you down. I'm doing the best I can. I know that I'm not good at this, but maybe one day I will be. I'm so sorry my love. I try to keep you happy. I really do. But it's hard when I can't even keep myself happy. You help so much, and I feel bad because you don't think you do. But I pinky promise you my darling, you help so much. It's just hard to battle the decreasing happiness that I'm experiencing in my life. It'll never get to that point. And you know what I'm talking about. But I don't know how bad it will get. All I will say is I'm glad I have you in my life to slow the decline. Maybe one day it will stop. And hopefully you will be there to pull me back up. You would pull me up the fastest. For you make me the happiest out of everyone in my life. So please please please please please. Never leave my side. As I will never leave yours.

© Copyright 2017 Zak Jackson. All rights reserved.

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