A Bloody Addiction

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I had a pretty bad addiction to self harm once upon a time. To the point where I now live with hundreds of scars on my arms. Most have faded out. And every once in a while my addiction reoccurs. Now with that being said, I promise I'm fine.

Submitted: July 24, 2017

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Submitted: July 24, 2017

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Drug me up!

Sweet little blood.

Can't you see?

I weep for you.

Come out of my skin.

Bring pain and misery with you.

If only to ease my horrid soul.

If only to make me smile through these tears.

Let the blood drip from the wound

As if anyone should care

Let the pain caress my body

As if there isn't a care in the world

Let the blade dry my tears and bring a smile

As if we were meant to be one with each other.

Addiction

As one might say

But I say

With a big smile

It is not an addiction

Merely something I desire

The only thing to ease the pain

Kind sirs and ma'ams

That you have all put me through

Both physically

And mentally

You have all put this hurt on me

What's that!

It's shiny!

A blade?

My savior!

So smooth!

So beautiful!

It's not an addiction.

It is something I desire.

It's my savior

But it's a huge problem.

While you make me feel

Oh so good

You are unhealthy

Yet I desire you

So it's not really an addiction

Right?

Wrong.

I see now.

Addiction

Desire

Go hand in hand

They skip down the street.

So oh sweet blade

So oh sweet blood

You have brought pain and misery

It has eased my soul

It has eased my mind

Though I say such things before

I will not stop

For this is something I do

I still enjoy it

I understand it is not healthy

I understand it is wrong

But I shall continue to do it

Because it is the only comfort I have.

To those who are my

"Friends"

I guess I am sorry

But no amount of

Therapy

Pills

Words

"Family love"

"Friends"

Has ever even thought about changing it.

With the pain of tonight

Shall end with blood

My blood

Seeping out

Of the small cuts

Never too many

Only two or three

I close them up

With a band-aid

I do not wish to die

The thought has not been strong with me

So I shall live

To one day be rid of this

This thing I am so fond of

This thing I am disgusted by

This thing I am conflicted with

This addiction of pain and misery


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