poisonous perfection

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
how would you feel if u were waiting on something your whole life and when u finally get it it becomes perfect but little did you know that not always what you wanted is what you need .....

Submitted: July 24, 2017

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Submitted: July 24, 2017

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it was a hot summer day , i was in my last exam waiting for the time to finish so i can go out and enjoy the first day of summer vacation . my name is Sam i am a 18 year old student in my senior year , i have long black hair , brown eyes , tall and with a fit body and i have a messy style . as soon as i finished the exam i gave my paper happy that it was my last exam in this school life smiling as i ran down the stairs going to the school door . as i reached my friends Luke and Chad were waiting for me . Luke is tall , short black hair , black eyes , skinny and he is always wearing sport clothes . chad is a bit short , short brown hair , blue eyes and he was muscular with a great sense of fashion . as i was walking i let the biggest scream i have ever screamed and told my friends " Finally we are done with this school and we are free " . Luke looked as he was laughing " yea but wont u guys miss all the good time we had in this school and everything we did " . Chad looked a bit sad and said " this was one of the best years I had in my life and I got to meet my 2 best friends in this same school " . I gave him a slap on the back and told him while smiling " we all are going to miss this school but this is going to be a start to a whole new life for all of us " . we all went to my car and I asked them where should eat Luke and Chad looked at each other and smiled than they looked at me both while saying " IHOP " . I said as I was putting my hands on my ears " ok no need to shout I will go now but first I have to do something " . as we reached the mall Luke jumped to the front and told me " Sam what do u think about this girl I'm trying to hook up with is she worth it ? " . I looked at her pic and rolled my eyes " not again you're always trying to hook up with girls tell me how many girls have u met this month only "  he laughed and said " I'm a man of change I like to have new things everyday like they say out with the old in with the new " . Chad said : well I don't know about that but I'm old fashioned I try to be with one girl at a time not like some people " . they both looked at me and said " what about you . u never had a serious relationship with any girl all you do is just have a thing with her for a month tops and u leave each other ". I kept looking to the front and said " I still didn't find the right girl that I feel like she will be the one im starting to think that there are no girls girls left in this world  " . Chad laughed and said " u should lighten things up you're still 18 you don't have to find a girl to merry now its just something we teens do " . Luke screamed " Amen to that my brother " . we just reached the parking for the mall as I parked we all went down and looked at each other before we go inside . Luke said " I want to say hi to this girl before we go eat will u guys wait 5 minutes for me " . Chad looked upset and as he was going to say something I said " yea sure just don't take too long we will be looking at the new iPhone that just came out " . Luke rushed inside as Chad looked at me annoyed and said " he always does that he thinks that he can leave us just for some girl I hate it when he does that " . I patted him on the shoulder and said to him " its ok that's just Luke what can we do " . we went inside and looked at the store Luke came to us and said " see I told you guys I wont be late now lets go eat " we went inside the restaurant , I ordered a cup of coffee , Luke ordered orange juice and eggs while chad just ordered pancakes . Chad looked at us and asked us " now what ? what are you guys going to do now ?" . Luke answered in a heartbeat " im going to go to the states and major in marketing " . I was looking at the wall thinking what I want to do I was clueless I heard Chad calling me and he told me " what about u Sam ?" . I looked at him and said " how about you tell us what are your plans " . " im thinking of studying medicine but still I don't know which university will accept me " . the both looked at me waiting for me answer as I was telling my self " I don't know what I'm going to do im lost and all of them know what they will do I will just tell them anything " . I looked at them after I was thinking for a while and said " I think im just going to stay here and study business " . as we are talking this girl passed right next to us and Chad kept looking at her we all laughed as Luke said " go on talk to her we all know u think she is cute " . chad said nervously " I don't know maybe she just want to eat in piece " . I got up and told him " if you wont go I will he she is cute " . Chad held my hand and said " fine I will go thanks you assholes " . as he walked away we looked at him talking to her we were looking to see if he is going to fail or get her number . he finished talking to her and he was smiling I said to him " so ? tell us what happened " . he sat down and told us " a guy dosent get a hot girls number and tell " . we slapped him on his back and taunted him for a bit while his face was red . after we finished our breakfast we all went to the cinema to choose a movie . Luke looked at us and said " guys im tired I think we should go to the movies after as now we should go home and rest after that hard exam " . we all agreed and went to my car I dropped them all and went to my house . I went to my room and laid on my bed playing on my phone , and I was thinking what will I do after this vacation finished , where will I be what will be studying . as I was thinking I fell asleep while holding my phone , I heard my phone ring it woke up and looked at my phone it was Luke answered he said " Sam wake up we are going out later get ready im picking you up later " . I closed the phone and went to take a shower , I was half asleep and tired all I wanted was to sleep . I changed my clothes waited for my friends to come , as I was looking through something in my phone I see a call from Chad and I pick up as soon as u put the phone near my ears I hear him shout " Sam get down now we are waiting for you " . I went and wore my shoes and went out I saw them in the car with the music at full volume , as I went inside the car I turned the music volume down and sat on the back while playing on the phone . Luke looked at me and said " we are going to see this new movie at the cinema " . I nodded my head as I was very tired Chad looked at me and told me " you seem very tired didn't you sleep ?" . I just kept looking at the phone while thinking about what do do after I finish summer . we reached the cinema as we went down Luke said that he will go and get the tickets while me and Chad smoked a cigarette , Chad looked at me and asked me " what are you thinking about ? you have been spacing out since we picked you up " . I just looked at him and said " im tired and I didn't sleep well " . we went inside and got pop corn and went to the movie , at the middle of the movie I fell asleep . Chad woke me up and told me that the movie is finished while Luke looked at me and said " you missed one of the best movies you will ever see " . I said " what can I do I was tired and I needed this nap " . after we finished we went to a café and talked about what we will do in this summer vacation . Luke said " i applied for a university in London and i wanna continue to study medicine " . Chad looked sad and said " i applied for a university in Canada and they didn't accept me so im seeing now where to go " . I went to him and told him " never give up when one door closes the other opens " . Luke looked at m and said " and what about you sam what do u plan to do " . Sam laughed and said" i don't know to be honest im still thinking " . Chad came in the middle and said " lets forget about this subject there is this photography class lets go i know Sam started photography " .  They all agreed on that and said they will go the next day to register " .

 

i woke up and got a call from Luke and as soon as he answered Luke said " get ready we are going to the photography course " . as soon as i hang up i  woke up and took a shower , changed my clothes and waited for Luke and Chad . i heard a car honking he knew it was them i went down and went inside the car . Chad looked at me and said " did u bring everything you need don't forget anything " . i nodded my head as we left , they reached there and Luke went to register our names as we went to sit on the chairs waiting for the class to start. Sam was looking at his phone a girl came inside and he looked at her for the first time it was like his heart fell inside his stomach , she was a short girl , long black hair , wide eyes , very beautiful and she had the most amazing smile any person can have . Sam was looking at her amazed and didn't know about the people around him , luke came and slapped him in the face and said " Sam where is head focus the class is going to start now " . i realized that i was looking at her non stop as soon as i saw her i felt something i never felt before , my heart was beating fast ,  eyes were as wide as the moon and my heart never felt like this before . i looked at her as she saw him for the first time she smiled and it was the most beautiful and breath taking smile you can ever see in your whole like its like an angel smiling at you , the teacher came and explained to us the course , it was going to be a 3 days course where we will do 2 different projects the first is individual and the second would be a group . As soon as we finished i went to Luke and Chad and said " did u see that girl that was sitting on the back " . They replied " yes what about her ?" . I looked like i was someplace else and smiling and said " she is the most beautiful girl i ever saw ". Luke laughed at me and said " go talk to her if you like her that much she wont bite ". I said nervously " no i cant a girl like her would never want to talk to a guy like me " . Chad looked at and gave me a light push " you will never change Sam , let us go eat I'm starving " . it was the next day i did not really like the class but i was very excited to go because it meant that i can see her , i still did not know her name yet all i know is that she is the most amazing thing he ever saw . i got changed and  went to the course , i saw Luke and Chad there . Chad came to me and said " today they will assign the groups i bet you wish that you are with her " . i just smiled and said " it does not matter anyways we will just finish this course and move on " . the teacher came and said " today im going to do groups , it is going to be a group of 3 each group has to present me a final picture by tomorrow " . i looked at her and say her smiling i felt like im on a cloud floating , the teacher looked at me and said " you will be with Adam and Logan " , after that he looked at Chad and said " you will be with Luke and Wendy " . i was in shock as the girl i had a complete crush on was with my two best friends i looked at them and they were laughing ,Luke came to me " hard luck maybe next time , i may try my luck with her if u know " . i looked disappointed and said " whatever you like i have to go work on our picture " . I went to the people with me and said " hi im Sam hope we can do something good together " . i sat with them and we started working on our picture , i was the one taking the picture and they were doing the edits . the day finished and i went back home thinking about her and if she is maybe interested in someone else , it was night time so i just went to bed hoping i will see her the next day which was the last day of the course . i woke up took a shower and went to the course as i went very fast and ate something as i went out , i reached there and saw Luke and Chad sitting with the girl looking at the picture they did . i went sat on my seat and saw if the picture is good enough , the teacher came and said " today is the day i hope u all did great jobs and learned alot " . he went to Chad and saw the picture and he liked it very much , after that he came to me and saw the picture and said " your picture guys is one of the best in the class good job " . i smiled for all the good work i did with the team , after he finished from seeing the pictures he went and said " now all of you can go to your classmates and see what work they did " . i just sat in my chair played on my phone as i saw her approaching me , she came to me and said " hi im Wendy , you are Sam right i just wanted to see the picture you took " . i panicked and just looked at her and smiled and said " yea sure go ahead and if you want you can take it with you " . she laughed as she saw the picture and left to her chair . after we finished the class we all took a group photo , i went to sit for a bit and drink some coffee as i saw her walking with a guy , i thought to myself that she likes him and got the idea of me talking to her , i went home after that and as i opened my phone there was a shock .... i saw that she added me on instagram . 

 

it was 12 AM as i was thinking should i talk to her or not , i was very nervous as i opened a chat with her and typed hi , i was debating if i should send it or not after looking at the screen for 15 minutes i pressed send and hoped for a reply from her . as i was waiting my heart kept pounding a thousand times thinking will she reply or not . after 10 minutes i saw a message from her " hey there " . i didnt know what to say i just said how r u today , we kept talking as i asked her what she likes , she said " i like music alot " and i was always listening to music so we kept talking about songs for hours until dawn , i didnt notice that until she told me its 4 am and we she was going to sleep we said our goodnights and i closed the chat , i never seen a smile so big on my face before as i slept while the phone is next to me . we kept talking for weeks none stop from morning till night we knew everything about each other and we were so friendly to each other it felt like we have knew each other for a long time ago . i knew that she is 16 years old going to her second year in school and she is very smart one of the top girls in her class . one day i dont know what has gotten into me i just went to her and asked her " hey Wendy i would like if we could go out for dinner sometime if you dont mind that " . she said to me after a while " sure but my sister Mary is coming with us if thats ok " . i didnt care as long as i could see her beautiful face nothing mattered , we agreed that we will meet at 8 pm in this restaurant in down town . on that day i was very nervous i didnt know what to wear or what to do , i was meeting one the most amazing girls i ever met in my life and i never felt anything like this to a girl before . it was 7 :30 i was completely ready and i went out and as i was driving my phone was ringing it was he i picked up and she said " hi we are there waiting for you dont be late " . i reached there and went next to restaurant as i saw her with her sister  , she was wearing a black skinny jeans with a black top and she looked like an angels just came down to earth to have dinner with me . i went up to them and said hi , she was quiet and her sister Mary said " Hi , its nice to meet you Sam hope we have fun tonight " . we went inside and ordered food as we waited i started talking to her sister as she was telling me about her self she went and said to her sister " talk why are you quiet you have been talking all the way here " . she looked very shy and just looked at me and smiled . the food arrived and we ate as we were eating i saw here taking a video of me trying to eat the meal that was too big and laughing , i said " does it amuse you my pain of me not eating properly " . we just laughed and finished our food . after we went out i told them how about we go sit someplace a cafe they agreed and went there . it was her sisters birthday i went to the counter and told them that it is her birthday and they should bring her a cake , i came back and as we were talking they came and gave her the cake as they sang happy birthday for her , she was so happy her sister and she thanked me for this . after we finished i told them goodbye and went back home , i changed my clothes and laid on my bed smiling and happy thinking about how amazing she is and i didnt know that but i had started having feelings for her it was something else i never felt like this towards anyone and i never thought i will have this feeling , we talked about the day until i passed out on my bed smiling like an idiot thinking my life is perfect . after a while i knew for a fact that i had alot of feelings for her and i have to tell her but i dont know how, we were very close to each other we even had nicknames for each other knew the others favorite things and we were talking everyday from the moment we wake up till we fall asleep , i thought of how to tell her that i like her and want her to be my girlfriend , as i was thinking she texted me and we were talking i dont know what came up to me but i just said to her " i have to tell you something and i hope this wont change anything between us " . she said to me " yea sure go ahead " . i said to her finally as i was breathing heavily " i really like you Wendy and i never liked a girl like you when im with you im the happiest person alive and i want you to be my girlfriend " . my heart was beating a thousand times as i waited for her answer ,as i saw the typing i got nervous and closed my phone not knowing what will she do , i heard the text sound and i quickly grabbed the phone to open it and see what she wrote , she said " i really like you also Sam but i dont know if im ready to be in a relationship with anyone " . i became so sad and depressed that i just said to my self that its not meant to be we will just stay friends and move on with our lives . we kept talking as friends and we had the best friendship we can ever have but deep inside i knew in the bottom of my heart that i wanted her to be more than a friend that i wanted her to be mine . one day it was a friday i was going to my friends it was the first week of January as i was going i got a text from Wendy telling me we have to talk , i pulled over and told her " yea go ahead what is on your mind ?" . she said to me " i dont know how to say this but i really like you and i wanna be with you " . i was shocked and stood there looking at my phone as i was trying to find out what was going on . i said to her " so you want to be my girlfriend " . she replied " yes i want to be your girlfriend i like you alot " . i was happy and i couldnt believe my self that i had an amazing girl like her wanting to be my girl . i called her immediately and we kept talking while i was driving forgetting where i wanted to go i just kept going around and around just talking to her for hours . i closed the phone and went home i thought it was all a dream i gave my self a slap it was real , i almost cried from happiness because it was one of my happiest moments that i ever had. 

 

we have been together me and Wendy for two weeks now and it feels like we are connected , but she is very shy and everytime i flirt with her she changes the subject so once i told her let us play truth or dare just to mix everything up , we began slowly with question that we already know about each other like whats your favorite color or favorite food after that she asked me " have you ever loved anyone " . i said to her " i had relationships but i never loved anyone like i loved you it feels like something special and you make me feel something no other person has made me feel " . she got shy and for the first time she told me " i love you " . we stopped the game and continued to talk normally as we talked everyday we have been flirting much more with each passing day . after a month of being together i told her that we should go out on a date and she agreed , we were going to the cinema i went there and waited for her as i saw her coming , she was wearing a white fluffy top with blue skinny jeans and silver shoes , her hair was straight and down and her smile was so sweet and amazing you can help but to smile when you see that smile . i hugged her and we went to the movie but i wasnt watching the movie as i was looking at her sweet face the whole time , in the middle of the movie she looked at me and said with a smile " it seems like you didnt like the movie Sam " . i just looked at her eyes with the biggest smile as i told her " i will like anything i do if it is with you my love " . she was shy and i grabbed her hand and we went out in the middle of the movie , she stopped and told me " where are we going now ? " . i said to her while holding her hands " we are going to my car to sit and i wanna show you something " . she blushed and nodded her head while we walked to the place where i parked my car , we reached my car and sat there looking at each other just smiling and when i saws her smiling i felt like i never seen something more beautiful in my life it was like a piece of heaven was sitting right next to me that im lucky to have , she was talking and i dont know what gotten into me and i gave her a kiss , she just looked at me and blushed and got dizzy while for my i didnt believe it it was amazing i felt something i never felt with any other girl i felt like she was the one and i fell for her madly after that kiss . we left the car went to eat dinner and we looked at each other like we were married for years , i dropped her back and went home i never felt anything like what i felt with her it was almost like magic . while i was still thinking i got a call from her and i answered as soon as i answered she said to me " hey babe i had so much fun today and i hope i can do this with u everyday " . i said to her while i was full of joy " i never had this much fun with anyone before and i never felt this way with anyone also and i hope i dont lose you sweetie you are he best ". we talked for a while until we fell asleep on the phone . after a week she called me and said " hey my friends wants to go on a double date with me and you are you ok with it " . i said to her " yea sure if it is with you im willing to do anything " . she said to me " great we are going tomorrow be ready by 6 " and she closed the phone . i slept and when i woke up i found a thousand messages from Wendy " where are you ? you are late and come fast we are waiting for " . i realized it was 4 pm and i was late i woke up took a fast shower and rushed there as i  called her " where are you ?" . she answered " im with my friend and her boyfriend in his car " . i told her that im out come to my car now as she came inside i told her " why would you go with another guy in his car ? " . she said to me " its only my friends boyfriend " . i replied while im mad " i dont care who he is you cant get inside the car with guys Wendy " . she looked my in the eye and held my hand and told me " i only love you Sam and this wont happen again " . we went with her friend to the restaurant as we sat and ate our food they had to leave because her dad called , they left as me and Wendy sat alone talked there was no one there and i could not help my self i just went to her and kissed her while i was holding her tightly to my body we kissed for a minute but it felt like forever i never wanted it to end . we payed our bill and left as we were walking to my car i held her hands and told her " you are the most amazing girl i ever saw in my life and i never want to lose you no matter what and i promise i will stay with you forever till the day god takes my soul from my body " . i gave her a kiss and hugged her like there is no tomorrow i hugged her like today was my last day i knew in the bottom of my heart that i love her more than i love my self and i never wanted to live a day without her . the days passed by and with everyday my love for her grew and i loved her more every time i see her or hear her voice or just see her smile i was happy finally after a long time i was happy , one day her sister Mary came to me and we talked for a while until she told me " i know you and my sister are dating and i dont approve of it and u guys should break up " she was yelling at me and telling me to just stay friends and her sister shouldnt date and should focus on studying as i was talking to her Wendy came and told me " just tell her we are just friends and try to smooth things out with her " . i told her that and she calmed down and believed me as i was mad and talked to Wendy and told her " she cant come and talk to me like that i love you but if she does that again im not going to forgive her " . Wendy cried and its the first time i see her cry like this as she told me not to do anything i could not bare to see her crying so i just told her " nothing is going to happen and no one will separate us i told you i will be with you till the day i die " . it was her birthday and i didnt know what to get her so i went to the mall looking , i remembered that she liked teddy bears and flowers so i went to the shop and bought a light brown teddy bear and went to the jewelry and i found this perfect flower neckless i knew she is going to love it . i went to her and as i was going to give it to her before that i took the neckless and put it around the teddy bear as i put it inside a bag .we went out to a restaurant and i wished her a happy birthday and brought her a cake after we finished i took her to my place and as we walked in i told her " wait sit down i have surprise for you just close your eyes and wait  " . she was so excited and kept bugging me to tell her what it is , as i came i was holding the teddy bear behind my back and told her to open her eyes as i showed her the teddy bear she was very happy and took the teddy bear and hugged it i told her " what about me ?" as she came to and wrapped her hands around me and we kissed , we kept kissing and cuddling till we fell asleep in the arms of each other i felt like this will last forever like it will never end . we were always together nothing could take us apart and after a year Wendy graduated high school and was ready for university she applied to many places but for our luck the only place that accepted her was in France which was very far away from us she didnt want to go but i told her " it is your dream and you should go so you dont regret anything " . it was the day before she was suppose to go so i told her to go out one last time before she goes , i picked her up and we went to the mall to buy some stuff for her , every store we go into i used to pick on her and tease her with her taste in clothes . after we finished we went to my car and i drove her home she needed to sleep and rest as we arrived i gave her the biggest kiss i can give her and hugged her while i hugged her i never wanted to let go i wanted her to stay by my arms forever , she went down i wished her a safe flight and went home . 

 

it was the day of her going and i was sad because i wont see her for a long time  as she was going to the plane she told me that she will close her phone until she gets a new number and will talk to me , i waited for 12 hours until i saw a message from her i dropped everything and talked to her , it felt like we havent spoken for ages we kept talking until she said " i am tired i just reached the apartment i will sleep and talk to you ok babe " . i agreed and she went to sleep , as the days passed she has been acting different she was being cold , she didnt call as before , she was not texting me as much she was only texting at the morning and night , she was acting weird and i never seen her like this so i asked her whats wrong as she answered " nothing im just exhausted from studying and i have no time . one day i saw her taking pictures with a guy and posting it i wnt to her and asked her " who is this ? and why are you taking pictures with a guy you just met and being all comfy with him ?" . she answered " it is nothing and he is just a friend that i met dont make it a big deal " . i got mad and just said bye and closed my phone as she did nothing . after a few days she came to me and told me we need to talk i told her "yea sure whats up " . i never thought what happened at that time was ever going to happen in my whole life , she came and said " we are prefect for each other but i feel that its better if we break up it is not you , you did nothing wrong its just that i dont want a relationship now in this time of my life " . i was in shock and i cried , it was the first time i ever cry over a girl as i was trying to understand she just said " just leave me alone i need time alone and i dont want anyone with me " . i thought immediately that she is leaving me for someone else that i wasnt enough for her that she found better , i thought to my self if i waited for a while she will come back to her senses and come back to me , i waited for weeks and i didnt get a message from her i went and talked to her and i told her that i miss her and want her back but she kept rejecting me and telling me she dosent want me and i kept asking her is there someone else and she akways got mad and told me that she will never love anyone elese its just that she just dosent want any relationship , one day i had her account password so i went inside and i was shocked as i saw her talking with this guy and they were talking for a while and laughing together i could not hold my self as i cried and cried till i vomited everything in my stomach , i went and talked to her and told her and she said " he is only a friend nothing is going on and you cant go inside my instagram like that " . i knew she moved on and i knew she maybe liked him although she says she wants no one . i began taking drugs , drinking and smoking i used to wake up and take pills and poor myself a cup of whiskey and drink my self till i pass out , i smoked alot because of me over thinking and i never was home i always was out with anyone who was out i just wanted to forget , but every time i drank more just remember her more , every girl i see reminds me of her and i cant imagine there is any other girl that is better than her . once i was out in the bar drinking as a guy came and sat next tome he said hi i nodded my head while tears are pouring from my eyes , he asked me whats wrong and i told him the whole story , he was silent for a moment and then said to me with a smile on his face " never give up there always something better ahead " . he than drank his cup and left i was thinking to my self that i will never find anyone better in my life and i lost the only thing i ever cared about in my whole life . everyday i was going to talk to her trying to get her back and all she does is ignore me , tell me to shut up or she just tells me she dosent want me anymore and she dosent want to talk to me . i knew that she wants me to leave but i cant do that i loved her so much i was willing to give her my eyes to get her back , after a while i fell from the stairs and blacked out as i woke up i saw myself in the hospital , the doctor came to me and told me we have some bad new for you .... i was shocked as he told me i had cancer and it was in a late stage and i needed to be treated immediately . as soon as i became good i walked outside and thought that i had nothing good left , i lost my purpose in life , the reason why i was happy and smiling is gone and i have no where and no place else to go . i went to Wendy and i said to myself this will be it if i cant find a purpose im done . i told her that i miss her she just said to me " never talk to me you are nothing in my life and i dont want you near me get out of my life " . all i said was " i hope you have a great life and remember me with a smile when im no longer here and know that i will always love you no matter what , remember my promise to you ? as i said the day that i will leave you is the day i will die , and i hope you take care of your self and be happy never lose your smile " . she just read it and never replied i knew i had nothing else to live for . i went to the cold store bought some razors , a bottle of whisky and a flower . i went back home wore new clothes as i cleaned everything and i turned on slow chill music , i went to the bathroom filled the tub with water as i  waited for it to be full i poured my self a glass of whiskey ,i wrote a note and put it inside my phone cover and  i looked at my phone to see our picture one last time . i took the glass drank all of it went inside the hot tub and i took the razor and i slit my wrist opened took the flower as i laid in the water , bled and died while holding the flower in my hands.

the note that Sam left was this : 

" you were my sun and moon , you were my happiness and you were the reason i wanted to live . i know i was not the best boyfriend , i may not given you time with me and attention that you needed , you were my everything in this life and i will always love you. i know now it was all my fault for not being what u expected me to be and i hope you find the prefect one for you , i hope when you read this you will smile for me because now i will not feel any pain anymore in the end what we had was perfect but poisonous  " . 


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