dear unknown: the final letter

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: July 24, 2017

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Submitted: July 24, 2017

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Dear______

Well here I am again, writing to you despite telling the universe I wouldn't dare to write to you again. I know you are thinking that when did I write to you before but I did and you don't know. It's been open to the world but you never saw it. I didn't write your name just like I didn't write your name on this one. See what did you do to me again? A tiny flicker of hope gets me to write again. This one isn't filled with questions or me telling you that I can't come back again to see you because I am scared the feelings might get real. I am sure you didn't understand the last part but anyways I am not going to explain it. This one is more about how I feel about you. Yes, about you.

 

This seems so much easier to write knowing you wouldn't read it ever. But if you are reading this then that means things changed. You let me into your world. And I am comfortable sharing this with you because I believe we trust each other now and the bonds of friendship have grown. That you replied to the messages where I was about to pour my heart out to you and you accepted it just the way it was. Or maybe I sent this to you believing all those things and never being able to know the real you. You are probably reading this thinking well she is crazy. And I am a little. Crazy I mean.

 

When I stepped into the college on the first day I was scared, we all were. Were you? I know this would sound so silly but I played a game in my head matching people I saw with some celebrity I have seen on screen or am a fan of. And then amongst the many boys that hurried down the hallways, some confused, some joyful, some nervous, I saw you walking in the hallway with no confusion on your face and weird confidence in your walk. I looked at you for several minutes and then went away trying to match you with a celebrity but couldn't. Honestly, I don't remember when did I first see you but anyways I am sure I painted quite an impressive picture of you, didn't I? You smiled, I know you did. And if you didn't then I am annoying to you and that would sting a little but well I will get over it, eventually.

 

So after that day I saw you a lot of times, almost everyday, then I made new friends and finally learnt your name. I looked you up on Facebook and my heart did a flip flop at the sight of your pictures. I wondered how could God do this, make such a charming person. Yes, you are very handsome and charming. This is the reason you have many girls that have a crush on you. There are many, trust me and I am one of  them. Here I said it, I do have a crush on you. My heart still does a tiny flip when I see your dimples when you smile standing among your friends smoking. So here two piece of information about you, one you smoke and the other you have dimples. I am not sure despite the people who know me would understand it's you I am talking about. The others can surely place their bets.

 

I thought I would do this when I graduate. Write you an open letter confessing my feelings for you, regretting that I should have done it sooner. And then hoping that one day while walking through a street I would see you again, the same charming face with a cigarette between your lips and your arrogant walk. Do you know how many people think you are arrogant? Here one more clue for someone who might be reading without knowing your identity (Good luck figuring it out). If it makes any difference to you, I don't think you are arrogant because I believe that is the mask you wear to show the world that you are not someone to be messed with. But I do look for the real you, the real person hiding behind that mask. I wonder how you are in your vulnerable state. Who do you go to when you are having a bad day or when you want advice? Oops, I began asking questions again. I am supposed to talk about me and my feelings. They aren't really grand to be honest.

 

I like you and I really do but I am not satisfied. I am not asking for you to fall for me or something. All I am asking is a chance to be a friend. I don't want any romantic relationship with you. I know I sound crazy. But I want to know you, the real you. The you, you protect so well from the world. The you, that smiles at the tiniest things. The you, that has a silly habit which you can't let go of. The you, who has an opinion about the world, about everything. The you, who is a friend that cares a little too much. Would you give me a chance to sneak peek into your life? Would you give me a chance to be a part of it? Would you be my friend?

 

If not, then please stay as my inspiration. Please let me still write about you if not to you for that is what I love to do. Please let me still write notes signed as Secret Admirer to make you smile. Please let yourself be the person that this crazy girl is a little too mad about.


 


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