New Boy Scout Pledge

Was;

'On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law;
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.'

Is Now;

'On my honor, I will hate the Democrats,

pledge my loyalty to the president, not my country, obey his command,

help only the wealthy;

to keep myself physically fit, like our glorious leader--err--scratch that,

mentally strong--that doesn't apply, either,

but for sure the first three!'