"The Audition"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
About a young woman on her way to an audition in Hollywood...

Submitted: July 26, 2017

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Submitted: July 26, 2017



“The Audition”


It happened again

whenever time is at a premium

it’s like she is taunting

the L.A. freeway system

and it doesn’t like to be teased

today it’s the 101

that’s decided to

Fuck with her.

She has an 11:30am casting call

or more a properly termed

cattle call

twenty girls at least

trying to go from

disenchanted waitress

to newly discovered starlet

the part,

a less than 20-second seven word spot

in the soon to be filming

Baywatch 2

she’s wearing a bikini

under her shorts and tank top

besides having to read

in a small West Hollywood office

while standing their

in the kind of bikini

that lets them know

your in the room

it’s at 11:30am

right before lunch

the middle of the

so called Death Hour,

it seems that nobody

at a casting agency

is ever in a good mood

right before lunch

which translates in to

no call backs for a second reading.

She can tell she has

some time to kill

once people start getting

out of their cars

so they can stand up and see

just that little bit farther down the road

that’s when you know you’re screwed.

She drives a hoopty

a beater car with no A/C

so without the breeze

from the incoming air

it is unbearably hot

she can feel the sweat

rising up from her pores

pushing out against her clothes

as if they were impeding

the progress of her body’s

cool down process

she puts the car into park

traffic only moving a foot a minute

at this moment in time

as she reaches under her tank top

and unties her bikini top

a horn honks behind her

as traffic takes a ten foot jump

she pulls out her bikini top

hangs it from her rearview mirror

just so she won’t forget it

as a male voice behind her

shouts out,

“Hey Honey”

“Sorry About the Horn”

“You Take All the Time you want”

in a long drawn out voice

she smiles into the rearview

puts the car in drive

and lurches forward

right before a mini van

can steal her 10-feet

of open territory.

Her light tank top starts to

soak-up her sweat

from her now

freely flowing pores

causing it to cling to

her breasts in a way

that does not go unnoticed

by a jeep full of UCLA jocks

two lanes to her right,

fortunately her lane moves up

three car lengths

which puts a damper on

the UCLA cat calls

at least for the moment,

she stops in the shade

of an 18-wheeler

she thinks about her one line,

she has recited it a 100-times

in front of her full length mirror


she figures if she can do it

relaxed while naked

it will be cake in her bikini

where they will be judging

every inch of her body

along with her presentation

most making up their mind

about her

before she speaks a single word.

The 18-wheeler pulls up

allowing the sun to remind her

just how brutal those reflective

grey-top freeways can be

without working air conditioning.

The lane to her left

starts moving slowly ahead

each car hugging the bumper

of the car in front of it

not wanting to give up

that sacred car length

that just might be the one

that gets them out of this mess

she turns on her left blinker

after five cars pass

and try and pretend

that they don’t see it

she leans way out

of her driver’s door window

knowing full well she is showing

a lot more than a look of distress

trying to get someone

to let her merge over,

the next car hits its brakes hard

flashes its lights

and waves to her to cut in

she yells out “Thanks”

and holds her hand out

the window making a peace sign

she looks in her rear view

at the guy that let her in

he’s giving her smiles

his wife is giving her a look

like she just slept with him,

her lane now

is the only one moving

time is tight

but she figures she has to

let at least three cars

cut in front of her

a sort of cosmic payback

for having been given

cuts herself

so three it would be

but there were no

hard and fast rules in karma

about which three cars she picked

the next vehicle trying to escape

the static cling that the first

three lanes seemed to be

suffering from was a camper

pulling a sand rail behind it,

now this could go

one of two ways

campers are slow

and she didn’t want

to be behind something

that everyone else is

cutting in front of

and she had a timeline

that was starting to evaporate

but it was pulling

a high speed dune buggy

which might off set

the camper issue being

that she could count that

as two vehicles,

too big a gamble she decides

better to go with the red BMW

being driven by a 30-something

woman who also looks in a hurry

one down,

she quickly scans the upcoming cars

trying to put karma

in her rear view mirror

by letting in two more cars

so she too can then blindly pretend

not to notice the less fortunate ones

that aren’t lucky enough

to be in the one lane of traffic

that’s moving,


but moving.

Her next choice was easy

it was a motorcycle

a 1987 Honda Hurricane 1000-cc

crotch rocket built for speed

she knew this cause

her ex-boyfriend use

to have one,

she misses those long rides

arms wrapped tightly around him

as they sped along the coast,

though one could argue

she didn’t really give

the motorcycle the spot

he took it,

after driving between cars

in the number 3 and 4 lanes

he shot out in front of her,

but she did tap on the brakes

for him so she

considered him number 2.

Traffic slowed and she could see

an old station wagon

filled with kids,

all the windows down

a definite NO as far as cuts go,

but as she got closer

she didn’t slow down

when she got to them

she actually stopped,

on the only flowing vein

of the 101 freeway

and waited

as a woman who looked

like life had been

nothing more than a constant

uphill battle to survive

mouthed the words

“Thanks” to her

and a 1973 station wagon

that couldn’t have had more

than a few hundred miles

of life left in it

pulled out in front of her

rear bumper

tied on with rope

and in the back cargo area

of the station wagon

two boys

each sucking on a juice box

wave to her

she waves back

as the station wagon pulls away

and the 101 is again moving.

She takes her finger

and wipes the sweat

on her forehead with it

then puts her finger to her lips

to taste the salt

a habit she’s had forever

but never could remember where

she picked it up from

her lane starts picking up speed

as the other lanes also

begin to move

after another mile traffic is back

to its normal speed

and again she never

finds out the reason for the

cause of the traffic stoppage

so typical of L.A. freeways.

She starts moving from the fast lane

towards the first lane

the Highland 9C exit is coming up

and she likes to be in the exit lane

long before her exit

sacrificing speed for position

she goes a few more miles

before getting off on Highland Ave

and leaving the 101 behind her

she’s only about 5-10 minutes out now

more than enough time

to put herself in the right

frame of mind and find parking.

She has read at this office before

knows her way around

Hollywood quite well

pulls into a small parking lot

slides her hoopty between a

Porsche and a Jag

leaves all her windows down

and has to slam the driver’s side

door hard to get it to stay closed

she starts reciting her line

all seven words of it

over and over

as she walks up to the office

she sees a few girls leaving

as she pulls open

the big glass doors

all of them look stunning

undoubtedly having already read

their 7 word line

probably in a hurry

to get back to work

for the lunch rush at

some local “TGIF” restaurant.

Her timing for once was perfect

their were five other girls

in the front office as she

cruised in with an air

of confidence about her

three girls exit the inner office

as an assistant pokes her head

out of the office doors and

calls back to the casting agents

“Only two groups left before lunch”

they send the next three girls in,

her and the remaining two girls

each one trying to find their

own personal zone as they wait

for the office doors to open.

The previous three girls exit

She and the other two are lead in

each being shown where to stand

the office A/C feeling like

it has been set to artic,

“Ok girls”

says one of the three casting agents

“Drop your shorts and shirts”

“And as I point to you”

“Step forward and say your line”

“One take only, so make it count”

all three girls start to

slip out of their clothes

adjust their bikinis

and wait for their cue

it’s right then that

she suddenly stops

pulling her shirt up

and over her head

as she realizes her bikini top

is still hanging from her

rearview mirror,

one of the agents

points to the first girl

she steps forward

“Sir, what would you like to drink?”

The agent shakes his head

“That’s not the line, it’s”

“What would you like to drink, sir?”


as he starts to point to the second girl

“Wait” “Wait” “Wait”

“Please” says the first girl

“Just one more chance”

“Sorry kid” says the agent

“We didn’t give it to”

“The last 10-girls that asked”

“We can’t start by giving it to you”

The first girl starts to tremble a bit

but holds on to her smile

as she steps back in line

the agent points to the second girl

who steps forward

and says her line flawlessly

the two male agents

nodding their approval

but the lone female agent

points to her left shoulder

she has a small birthmark on it

all three agents nodded

girl number two

looking a little deflated

steps back in line

it’s her turn now

the agent looks at her queerly

“Your top” was all he said

she pulled off her shirt

and stood their

eyes looking straight ahead

her breast reacting to the cold air

“I left my top in the car”

she says meekly,

eyes still looking straight ahead

the agent,

didn’t even bat an eyelash

just pointed to her

she stepped forward

and in the most perfect

cadence and tone

“What would you like to drink, sir?”

rolled off her tongue

she continued to stand there,

the first agent remarked,

“Not bad”

“You can step back now”

The female agent throws in

“Well, we don’t have to ask”

“If she has any”

“Tattoos or birthmarks”

“Ok girls that will be all”

says the first agent,

she pulls on her tank top and shorts

getting a slight bit of warmth

from them

and heads for the doors

the number two girl

quickly catches up to her outside


“I just have to know” she says

“Was all that planned?”

Smiling and shaking her head no

She replies,

“You see that black Porsche”

“Parked over their?”

Pointing to the one

she had parked next to

“Yes” says girl number two

“Well that beat-up car”

“Parked next to it, is mine”

“You can see my bikini top”

“Hanging from the rearview from here”

“I could never have planned”

“Anything like that”

girl number two

just shakes her head in amazement

says “Good Luck”

and changes direction towards her car.

She has to really pull hard

on her driver’s side door

to get it to open

as she climbs in behind the wheel

she looks at the bikini top

and turns over the motor,

she had just turned on to Sunset Blvd

when her phone rang

“Can you come in at 1:00pm Thursday?’

says the voice on the phone

“Do I need to wear a bikini?” she asks

“That won’t be necessary”

“Just don’t be late”

and the caller hangs up.

She starts doing victory dances

in the front seat as she drives,

and when she gets to Highland Ave

she drives right past and

she shouts as loud as she can

“No More Freeways for Me Today!”

at the Highland Ave street marker

as she drives underneath it

the street sign takes no offense

and continues to remind people

they are coming up on Highland Ave,

she gets caught by a light

at La Cienega Boulevard

forcing her to stop her

in car dance routine,

and as she sits their

waiting for the light to change

she looks up at her bikini top

still hanging from her rearview

slightly moving side to side

due to the uneven idle

of her over worked engine

and she says,

“I think I’m going to”

“Have you framed”

She slips on a pair of

beat-up sunglasses

that had been sliding

back and forth across the top

of her dashboard all day long.

“I’m going to have to”

“Get use to wearing these”

“Once I get famous”

she says,

in a very matter of fact tone

as she looks over the top

of the dark frames

of her sunglasses.

The light turns green

and she takes a left

on to La Cienega Blvd

bringing the full weight

of the sun

through her front windshield,

she pushes back her sunglasses

her eyes now

looking through their scratched lens

as she starts down from

the top of La Cienega Blvd

towards her Inglewood home

she slips into a day dream

that starts with a seven word line

that keeps her blissfully entertained

till she pulls up at home

and parks between two cars

both looking far worse than hers

she has to slam her driver’s door twice

before it stays shut on its own

takes about three steps

before she spins around

sticks her arm through

her open car window

and grabs her bikini top…


Tom Allen…07-25-2017…

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