Tales of Great Fortune XXXIII - A tale of alternative facts

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The Great Trenlin and his much wrongvalued coworker try to get their business on track with a brand new slogan.

Submitted: July 30, 2017

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Submitted: July 30, 2017

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"By the cosmic powers of the mysteries of the universe, sales are down again, Porric!"

"I've tried to cheer them up, sir."

 

The Great Trenlin's thoughtprocess was interrupted by yet another non sequitur remark of his co-worker. However, a real fortune teller does not get distracted that easily. With an eminent smile, he briefly considered punching Porric in the face before his mind wandered off again towards the daily routine of managing his company. 

The business of fortune telling was booming and the Great Trenlin knew that he was just waiting for the right moment to acquire a substantial market share of promising customers. If possibly, those would originate from the richer parts of society, but the Great Trenlin also considered himself to have a social role to play as well. As a man of the universe, rather than this earthly planet, he made no distinction between rich and poor. As far as the Great Trenlin was concerned, his business was open to those scallywags as well.

 

"We need to re-optimize our marketing strategy, Porric. Our customers can't seem to find their way into our outlets."

"We only have one, sir. It may be hard to find."

"Don't be more stupid than necessary, Porric. We need to get to the bottom of this."

"Right. I must honestly say, sir, I am a bit stunned as well."

 

The Great Trenlin was slightly amused by the general ignorance of the common people.

"Stunned?"

"Yes, sir. It is very strange that we have few customers at the moment. After all, people seem to believe anything nowadays."

 

The Great Trenlin immediately knew he was stunned. Employees were usually not as blunt when revenues were not streaming in like cockroaches in a restaurant. There certainly was a lot to discuss during the next performance review.

 

"I have seen the elections, Porric," the Great Trenlin responded with the calm composure of a real comatic patient, "but I really do not think that your comparison is quite... O, ok! I see!"

With an air of excitement and some peppermint, the Great Trenlin turned towards the flipchart and drew some inspiring circles on them.

"Is it a dog, sir?"

"Shut up, Porric! You are trying to say that in these days of alternative facts, our honest message is not very effective anymore."

 

Porric did not have the look of someone who had already considered that idea. The Great Trenlin was not surprised.

"Am I, sir?"

"Yes, Porric. Trust me, we fortune tellers have a nose for these kind of things."

"O," Porric confidently contributed, "I indeed noticed your nose, sir. Family inheritance?"

"Yes, from mother's side, Porric, but let's not get distracted."

"Of course not, sir, that would be very confused."

"Confusing."

"As well."

"So, we are looking for some alternative facts to incorporate into our new slogan," the Great Trenlin summarized as he wrote the word slogan in very nice handwriting on the flipchart.

 

"Sir?"

"Yes, Porric," the Great Trenlin responded in a voice that a layman would easily mistake for boredom.

"How does this fit into our ethical charter and values, I wonder?"

 

The Great Trenlin was perplexed, a feeling very uncomfortable to a fortune teller. With some signs of regret, he wondered how the mysteries of the universe always conspired to hide his co-workers most outrageous feelings just up until the last moment. It was quite upsetting to have an underling questioning his integrity, the value dearest to his heart.

 

"Are you suggesting we are not ethical, Porric?"

 

Hus coworker scratched his head like someone who had said too much. Hesistantly, he tried to justify his folly.

 

"Not entirely, maybe, sir. I just eh... seem to notice some paradoxes between honesty and less honesty."

"You really lack a creative mind, don't you, Porric?"

As a matter of fact, the Great Trenlin thought Porric lacked any mind at all, but decided to keep this to himself.

"I apologize sir."

The Great Trenlin grumbled.

"Yes, yes. Any suggestions for a slogan than?"

 

"Eh... Our talk is cheap."

"No!"

"More talk than ever."

"No!"

"Your future as we see it."

"O. Well..."

"And then as a logo, the picture of a very near-sighted man."

 

Even the Great Trenlin was surprised to see how easily someone could lose consciousness after being hit by a flipchart.


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