Hurt Queen

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
"Move on. I already did." Was the last thing I read from you. After a whole month of silent treatment I hoped I'd get something better. Something sweet. Something I deserved.
I was midway through dinner and that cut it short. I excused myself and rushed to my room not showing anything. I was fine. I shut the door behind me and turned the key. I slid down. Threw my phone onto the bed. The tears flowed. I felt a stab. A pain right through my chest. Then came the flashback...all the memories. How could I lose my baby...my man...my love...my world. It kept cutting through me. It sunk deeper. I hate my life. I hate everything. I couldn't control it. My throat hurt. My eyes itched. I was hurting because of someone I believed would never wrong me. I showed you my fears and worries and the part that hurt the most and you took the razor and cut through it. Why would you turn against me.

You'd found someone else. You said the distance between us was too hard for you. What did you about me. Did I say it was easier for me? I was strong. I tried. I fought for you. What hurts is that you threw me a way for someone you hardly know. But it's OK. I know she's prettier than me. Loves you right and makes you happy because I couldn't do that for you.

Three beautiful years. I had built my fort. I knew some day we'd move from the simple people we were to Mrs&Mrs. And that we'd be blessed with twins. Boys in fact. So that they could be like their daddy. I believed in my own pure love. I kept myself for you. I didn't look at any other man. I knew you from the start.

I waited for the big teddy you'd promised me. The promise ring we'd give each other.

Now my friends surround me. Pulling me from you. I can't let you go. Because I can't stop loving you. It's what I pray about. I keep praying for us. How am I supposed to do that. I'm not letting go.
"Do it, let him go, he wasn't meant for you ". No. I can't. Who'd call me hunn again and get me through my anxiety and depression. You don't get it. It's not easy. I can't do it.
I bite on my lower lip. I sob quietly. I hate all the love songs that have always played on my phone. I can't stand what they say when all I feel is worthlessness and heartache. I'd never stop loving you. I hold onto the hope that someday we'd find ourselves and love again.

Submitted: July 31, 2017

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Submitted: July 31, 2017

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