Don't pretend

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
I once heard someone talk about how not just plants and animals have "thorns"

But humans too, they are thorny, hard to approach, hard to love
Though sometimes you stick to them.

Willingly or unwillingly.
With pleasure or with pain.
All because of their thorns.

I didn't pretend to understand what was meant.
No, I learned it much too late what the meaning of it was.
Now I have thorns of my own.

Submitted: August 01, 2017

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Submitted: August 01, 2017

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Don't pretend

 

Do you remember the promise we made?

Surely not, since your memories of me started to fade...

 

Do you understand how important you were to me?

I believe not, since you try to avoid me, from me you try to flee...

 

Did you not value our friendship as much as I did, no actual regret?

Did you simply use me for my kindness like some kind of pet?

 

Don't pretend to understand

Tell me all this was planned

Say that I was a pawn at hand

 

So my pain may subdue

So my anger may break through

So I know what to do

 

Do you remember what we said?

That I'd be at your side, while you bled

That you'd rid me of tears and dread

 

I am not cruel, you know that better than anyone

But you made my heart darken, darker than a blackened sun

 

I was not broken, but now I lost most of myself

All my memories, thoughts and pains are displayed on my shelf

 

I would be a fool, if I were to think about you again

But I can't stop, so I run from my thoughts into fog, snow and rain

 

Don't pretend to understand

Tell me that I am where I stand

Say that I still have a purpose in this land

 

So my rage may soften

So my hatred may be locked in my coffin

So I know my heart like I said so often

 

do you remember the silent wind?

The sobbing sound that thinned,

while my heart was skinned

 

Don't pretend you know me when you know nothing

You crushed my heart, you left me, you started running

You destroyed me, are you happy? You made me crack.

All the loving things I said, I can't take them back

 

So just stop it, let my pain end dammit!

You destroyed my life on this dammed planet!

 

-

Don't pretend

To understand

 

My pain is my own

And in it I will drown

 

My anger is my chain

They hold me in pain

 

My rage and anger

My flame and ember

-

 

Even after all this conflict I still miss you dearly

You broke me so much that I begin to miss you clearly

My words are those of a broken person, and broken I was severely

 

This is it, I give up, I can't take it anymore

Knife drawn I cry one last time before blood flows on the floor

 

But I don't pretend,

I really don't understand

 

I never understood you,

I once tried to

 

Though I learned that things don't make sense

I remember everything, from the small to the big events

 

And not once did I see you as you are.

Only how you pretend to be, one without a scar.

 

I really don't pretend,

I really don't understand.

 

Why I still love you.

And even in death I still do.


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