Empty Shell

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
My name is Lauren I'm 15 years old with my life ahead of me but there are struggles ahead that nobody could have foreseen.

Submitted: August 02, 2017

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Submitted: August 02, 2017



Every night i write in my journal. It wasn't a very good day today, actually you know what, it was horrible. I just stare at my journal, wondering where to start.

'Hey whoever you are you could be here because you found this and you're a snoopy little arse or because I'm dead. I guess you could say I'm depressed. I have been for quite some time now, seven years to be exact. Nobody knows, nobody need's or want's to know. Sometimes it's too much to bear but at other times I welcome it's dark embrace. I retreat into myself so not to show weakness to others. I fall back on that darkness because i know it will always be there. No matter what others do or say that darkness remains. It's apart of me whether i like it or not. Well today my Papa chapman fell down the stairs. It's not looking so good. The Alzheimer's has already taken a tole on him but now this....the doctors say he has less then a year. I hope he doesn't have to suffer that long. He can't even open his eyes he sits in his wheel chair and i can see that he is trying. Trying to be free of this body that has held him back for so long. He's still in there somewhere he just can't find himself no matter how hard he tries.' 

I close my journal my face is numb from crying so much. I lost my other grandpa to lymphoma cancer 4 years ago. This was going to be hard. Really hard felt in my heart that he was going to die but I didn't want to accept that for fear that my heart would break. Too late i guess, everybody just leaves me eventually. "I don't wanna live anymore." I come to the conclusion that my life is no longer worth living. I made a list, a list of why i'm just not worth it. I'm ugly, useless, bullied, used dirty, weird, im a freak i'm too much of this, too little of that. I'm such a burden to everyone around me and just shouldn't be here anymore. Well this is where my story ends. or i guess where it could have ended. 

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