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“Hey Mister sunny!” Daiyu screams. She’s walking a few steps behind me, but still close enough to annoy me.

What have I done?

“Mister Sunny,” she repeats, running to my side. I don’t even look at her.

Can’t children be dropped off at a church? 

“I’m tired, we’ve been walking all day,” she complains. I glance up at the sky and see the moon has stolen the sun. I didn’t notice how long we’d been walking trying to find the address on the note. 1413 Golden Drive. “Do you even know where we’re going?” Daiyu questions, grabbing my pants leg and pulling it.

“Will you shut up,” I reply, looking down at her. She stares at me with big baby eyes reflecting the moon. “What?” I ask, as I stop walking and turn towards her.

“I’m hungry,” she replies, letting go of my pants.

“Yeah, and dirty too,” I add, walking again. I haven’t asked for directions, because a part of me just knows how to get there.

“You’re kind of mean,” Daiyu says, once again falling behind.

“Then go away,” I reply, walking across the street. The street we cross onto is lined with costly looking houses. I glance back at Daiyu who definitely looks too poor to even be walking on this neighborhood’s sidewalk. As for myself, I’ve never heard of khakis and a grey shirt being looked at badly.

“And leave you all by yourself, not a chance,” she says giggling. For an abandoned child she’s certainly very cheery…and I hate it.

Almost there…look up at the sign.

“Golden Drive,” I say aloud.

“Woah, we’re here. Where’s 1413?” She questions running in front of me.

“Get back here! Don’t just go running around,” I demand, catching her by the hood of her jacket. She yanks back, and hits the ground. Before I can act someone yells,

“Hey! How dare you throw that child to the ground!” My attention leaves Daiyu and goes to a woman on the other side of the street. She looks middle aged. She’s standing on the steps of her porch. Her sudden accusation sparks something in me. I must not like being wrongly accused because I get really upset. 

“Why don’t you mind your fucking business bitch!” I spit back. Daiyu quickly looks back at me with wide eyes. “And you, get off the fucking ground!” I say in a stern voice. Daiyu jumps up, rubbing her butt and looking down.

“Excuse me?” The woman says, baffled and confused.

“Go in your house and mind your fucking business!” I shout back, turning my whole body in her direction. She covers her mouth with her hand as she hurries up her steps and into the house.

“Mean,” Daiyu whines, almost too quiet to hear. I look down at her and she has her hands up to her eyes. I hear sniffles. I look away from her and take a deep breath.

“Stop crying, now,” I say, staring up at the black sky. She doesn’t obey and continues to weep. “I said stop!” I repeat, getting somewhat aggravated. She starts to cry louder, as rivers of tears pour from her chocolate eyes. “Fine! Stand here and cry all you want but I’m leaving,” I say, and hurriedly walk past her.

Stupid little girl, she’s not my responsibility anyways. Who does she think she is, crying because of a little fall. I just need to find 1413 and hopefully get some clues to who the hell I am. My feet are slamming on the ground as I become anxious to arrive at my destination.

When I reach the house  I stand frozen and return to my calm state. I got so upset back there. 

Maybe that homeless child is right…I am an angry person.

The house is huge, no doubt the biggest one on the block. I can’t even walk up to the front door on account of the towering gates and brick fence guarding the damn place. I walk up to the gate and notice to its left is a panel device. 

It doesn’t take long to realize the thing doesn’t have a call button…it doesn’t have any buttons for that matter. The only thing on it is a green spot in the shape of a thumb. Place your thumb on it idiot. I don’t ignore my inner voice, and put my thumb in the spot.

“Welcome home sir.” a robotic voice says, and I almost jump when the gates start to open.  I'm greeted by a large yard and freshly cut grass. There’s one patch of flowers in the middle of the yard, which is weird because everywhere else is bare. So, how did I end up all the way across town if this is where I live? The questions start to form, as I walk up to the door. Sitting on the blank brown doormat is a golden key. I pick it up, just as I hear,

“Waaaait!” Daiyu calls out, making it through the gates just before they snap closed. She runs up to me, with light pink eyes and a glossy looking face.

“You still crying?” I coldly ask, and she shakes her head no. “Good,” I say, and open the door. Before I even take three steps in, a brown shoe box greets me.

Congratulations on finding your way home. Inside this box is a tape you’ve seen several times. Shit you can’t take a beating without literally losing your mind.

~Morgan

I look away from the note and at the child to my side. She stands there with her fingers tangled together looking up at me. She looks so innocent…I hate it. 

 

A/N: Thank you to everyone reading this far, it really means a bunch. Also thank you B Douglas Slack for the solutions to the previous chapter, they really helped me edit this one. As always please let me know if there's any errors or certain things that can be altered! 

 

 




Submitted: August 10, 2017

© Copyright 2022 PoeticMe♥. All rights reserved.

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LeParadisNoirPoetique

I found some punctuation errors, so I made suggestions with a few Icomments. My punctuation is fucking crap anyway so I hope I didn't suggest any mistakes :p

I still like the idea of Daiyu being a distraction while Sunny is having the Jason Bourne treatment by trying to remember who he is. Maybe she was meant to be there, maybe she is part of Sunny's life but they both don't remember. I have many questions regarding Daiyu, but I do like that she is around because it makes me wonder if Sunny is searching for his identity, what is Daiyu searching for? And as the writer you have done a grand way of making me as the reader ask that question.

I love Sunny losing his fuse with the elderly woman, because he didn't mean for Daiyu to hit the ground like that. For in his anger he wouldn't hit a child, and it also makes me question that if he had anger issues before, or if the amnesia has made him angry. A suggestion I would give you going forward is that the amnesia could unlock things about him going forward, and it could be the birth of traits that were the opposite of him before he lost his identity, like the anger he has here, do he have it before? Message me any time if you would like to discuss this theory in more detail :)

I like how Daiyu just keeps following Sunny, but only if she will stop crying. Thevlast sentence is cryptic and genius, and a brilliant cliffhanger. Your writing has matured so much over the last year and a half, and it is far deeper, and has a beauty about it. You have found your calling when it comes to writing in a style that suits you, and the clarity of how clear your written words are is gorgeous. I'm proud of you Poetic. I will return with the darkness for the next chapter :)

Fri, August 25th, 2017 3:50pm

Vance Currie

I will not attempt to analyse this story. I am just letting it roll over me. I am losing myself in it and letting it reveal a little bit more of itself as it goes along. I love the way in which the relationship between Daiyu and Mr Sunny is developing. I can understand LeParadise...que (such a long penname) wanting to get involved in the story but, with respect, the story is already somewhere inside you waiting to be let fee. I don't think you need any help; but if you want to write in collaboration with another writer, that's your choice. I am looking forward to the next chapter. ~ Joe

Sat, August 26th, 2017 2:18am

ShadaStorm120

Oh my, he does have a temper, doesn't he? Well, I understand how some people could be like this, but I do feel bad for the lady being yelled at like that, but I also feel bad for Sunny. He's just a bit rough, haha. I do like his temperamental character. He has very strong flaws, but underneath that, I can see something more. He's rather indepth, which I like. Anyway, fantastic chapter :) I'm excited to know where it goes from here :)

Sun, August 27th, 2017 12:07am

PrincessPonyButt

Hey MB! This sounds like the start of an intriguing mystery story. I like the comparison between the salty main character and his young "side-kick" and can't wait to find out more about them and their backstories (especially what the deal is with "Sunny"--and why he has a freaking cool house???). With that said, I agree with some of the other comments in which they're worried you're giving us too much information early on. It's not that we don't want to know what's going on, but a mystery is characterized by keeping its readers guessing. I couldn't tell you the ideal amount of information to give us at this point, but just keep the "mystery" in mind. Oh, the note in the mailbox is a great touch X) Can't wait for more chapters -PPB

Sun, August 27th, 2017 2:26am

B Douglas Slack

Another good chapter. I found one discrepancy - eye color for Daiyu changed from chocolate to pink. That is, of course, if is is a mistake. perhaps Daiyu isn't exactly what we think she is.

Sunny does have a temper, though and I have a suspicion it is going to get him in trouble at some point. Now he's in the house, with a box, and Daiyu. Great anticipation for what's to come. Good one, Poetic.

Bill

Mon, August 28th, 2017 8:18pm

Author
Reply

Thanks, when I said pink, I was talking about the whites of her eyes. You know how when people are done crying their eyes are sort of a redish/pinkish color. That would be a weird twist though if Daiyu was some sort of alien life form, haha but no fantasy in this story. Thanks for reading!

Tue, August 29th, 2017 8:09pm

BriannasBooks

I saw your update and realized I had somehow skipped this chapter! Sunny and Daiyu's personalities are really starting to come through in this chapter, and I just really love how Daiyu sticks by him, even if he is angry. I think this really shows how frustrating it is not remembering who you are and how easy it can be to take those feelings out on other people. I love the way you continue to slowly build the mystery but keep it so damn interesting lol! I'm looking forward to the next chapter :)

Thu, January 14th, 2021 9:05pm

Author
Reply

Awwwe thank you so much! I don't know if I ever told you this but I really admired your writing when I first joined here. It makes me happy and solidifies how hard I've worked. I will be updating very soon, once again thanks for reading

Wed, February 3rd, 2021 7:55pm

Wendy C.

Great story

Fri, January 15th, 2021 4:21am

Author
Reply

Thank you :)

Wed, February 3rd, 2021 8:01pm

H.M. Pierce

This story has me really hooked and I'm dying to find out what happens next!! Can't wait for more!!

Fri, January 15th, 2021 5:26pm

Author
Reply

Awwwe thank you! I'll be updating soon!

Wed, February 3rd, 2021 8:02pm

GoldenCaribbeanQueen

Next one please!!

Thu, February 4th, 2021 5:21am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading! I'll be updating soon.

Thu, February 4th, 2021 6:48pm

Erebus

Chapter 1 drew me in and by this one I've fallen in love with the story. Can't wait for chapter 4!

Thu, February 4th, 2021 5:56am

Author
Reply

This makes me really happy! I'll be updating soon.

Thu, February 4th, 2021 6:49pm

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