Driving on the Passenger's Side

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Only you can drive on the passenger's side

Submitted: August 06, 2017

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Submitted: August 06, 2017

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I watch her sleep
I steady my breath
Don’t wake up
Such a weirdo sighing in her sleep
Lips smacking
Bored with her REM cycle
Drooling over the Carne Asada fries in her dreams
When you want to touch her
But you know not to
My pretty baby could bite off my intentions
I turn my head and forget her face
I look and am reminded
My neck breaks
For I am not the type to assume
And I know her beyond imagination
But I can’t spend enough on her
I can’t force her to smile
I can’t lick her flavor off
I manipulate her and she stays the same
I study her idols
I try to sing like David Bowie
But she stays the same
You sound nice
She says
I love you
She says
I try not to love her
Because lovers disappoint each other
And I could never be less than I am
But when her hair tickles my face
And her chest is on mine
I feel small
Powerless
I want her for everyone and she wants only me
Foolish.
Absurd.
You can’t just be for me
I’ve done nothing
Nothing but trap her
I’m a cat checking under his paws making sure the butterfly is still there
Dying with wings ripped wide open
I drink more than she can so I die first
She will be my immortal soul
She will be my shameful tears saying:
She can’t be this
She’s too tangible
No one should be allowed or even able to touch her
I cry knowing she has to live here
The extraordinary among the ordinary
The decaying
I want to see her in the sky
A star vibrant and full of whatever stars are made of
In her case she’d probably be made of weed and carne asada fries
She told me I’d be made of coors light and farts
I hate nothing more than to love her with all my being.
Why can’t I make it better?
Why wasn’t I there way back when?
Why?
Fucking why?
I manipulate her and she stays the same
Her light can’t be shamed
And her darkness can’t be tamed
So I sit here and poke her side boob and suck on her hair
Like a fucking creep
But I have nothing more important to do
I go to school so I can get a better job
So I can afford us an apartment
For her to sleep in
And so I can drive her places and watch her not care about whatever movie we chose or whatever band we saw
It never matters
It only matters that when I lift my chin and stick my tongue out at her quickly
She does it back
With her eyes almost shut
Falling asleep
Driving on the passengers side

 


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