Pain

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
Its, easier to die than it is to watch yourself fall.

Submitted: August 10, 2017

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Submitted: August 10, 2017

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You know what's worse than physical pain?

The mental anguish you feel when the world starts to make sense and then your peace of mind is ripped away from you in the blink of an eye.  

The pain when you disappoint your mother, and can feel the hurt in her voice over the phone.

The sound of the boys voice that cuts like glass through your veins because he's the one who broke your soul. 

The pain when your father decides he'd rather drink his life away than have me in it.

The pain when every memory from your past comes flooding back and you can't cope anymore, thats when you make that mark in your arm or wrist because you'd rather feel a real pain than the one you created in your mind.

The pain of feeling your grip on reality slip away, so you make another mark just to make sure your still alive. The pain of finally being happy again, and something tearing it out of your grasp.  That's when you find the bottle in your hand, because you'd rather remember nothing than let your mind replay the memories that haunt you every second of everyday.

Then the pain stops, because you can't breathe anymore, and you can't find the strength to feel anything anymore. That's when you find the gun, pill, or rope in your hands. Thats when the pain finally ends.

I feel this pain everyday, but its not something you would every hear me say out loud. Please don't let me feel that pain, just let me pull the trigger, because the darkness of my life leads to nothing bigger. Just help me take a breath i don't want to end it all, Its just easier to die than it is to watch yourself fall. 

xxLightningtheworld


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