The Never Ending Ending

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Must You Find Out?"

Submitted: August 11, 2017

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Submitted: August 11, 2017

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The Never Ending Ending

-

I don't have a heart for anybody now

Now that the world of women have abandoned me

I'm crawling out of my sleep

And into the waking world of loss

And I weep inside and out

I may never find out how I can change

I still haven't found an amends to make

And I'm on step 9 again

How I've lost my hope in my recovery

Lost like a demon

No apologies

If I could scare away the truth

I could be in oblivion again

And ev'rything'll be cool

But what's the use?

I lost you

The torture and the pain

Doesn't go away

No kind of completion, "at all"

Just a creeping in of impossibility

How we can't be be friends anymore

I guess you were toxic to me

But that never stopped me

__from wanting you in my life

____as our stale "goodbye"

______washes out the flavor of love

________in my restless heart

I crash and burn

__as my love or you dies

No more, will I be bothered

__with the thought of you

So you can continue to be you

And I'll continue to be me

And we'll stay not a couple

And not even friends

Now

And for eternity

You seem to not care

So I'm out of your hair

I can't be there for you

I wouldn't even dare

Your reluctant ways

__of leaving me completely alone

____never gets old

It's still all new to me

Day to day I don't hear a word from you

So I return th favor

__and give you just the same silent treatment

You've got bigger problems now

So I understand

I blame myself

But everything else is my fault too

So what the Hell

The blame, I take by default

So even that isn't new

There's no future for us

You're not on the same page as me

And you never will be

I fucked up

The story of loss never ends

But I don't give a fuck

I just fucked up

But so what?

The life I live without you

Is full of things to do without you

I just have to do them alone

God doesn't have any one in store for me

__at the moment

He's giving me the silent treatment too

Won't even let me know if there'll ever be

What would be the purpose

__of giving m a true love

____at the last minute?

Why would He waste my love-life

__on me waiting until I'm about to die?

That's why I don't believe

__that He'll ever give me anybody

I'm already gonna die soon

Since the years are rolling by

__faster and faster now

I'll be dead before I know it

I know I've just already blown it

Like the candles on a cake

__where I was dumb enough to

____to ask to make children

Not knowing I would change my mind

And just want a lover for all of time

Until thee end of my life

Somebody that doesn't want a bun in thee oven

Too much to ask for

So I've lost faith

Sue me if I sound unconfident

I just don't wanna waste life waiting

For love to show up

When it cannot be proven to exist yet

The sour taste of "goodbye"

Leaves my lips tainted with regret

And that's thee end I have to face

Thee end of us

Thee end of trust

Thee end of hope

The start of loving no one

-

08-11-'17

D. L. Cannon


© Copyright 2017 DLCannon. All rights reserved.

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