The Day i Disappeared

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 18, 2017

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Submitted: August 18, 2017

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The day i Disappeared was the day my last friend left me. After a breakup.  left me in filth, where their hate turned my brain to a rainy day. Gone was the days i was hanging on from a thread. The day my face turned pale and my last hope left me. Burn to ashes but bury me with you. You wiped us all clean from our dignity.

My family was in ruins and an unimployed fellow, not finishing school what a pointless life, you understood. We eat, we fuck, we die. So i guess ill just hang myself and die. Pills for my decaying body, my lungs and my keedneys going strong. I left the joy of life when i was young. The way i felt in my mothers arms protected from the work. I remember chasing butteflys and laughing at life and at work. A little girl nieve to the worst. She used to tell her mother she would be great and heal everyone of their troubles. She used to see the best in life and enjoy the sights and smells. One day she caught a butterfly, it died and her heart fell. A little evil in her head to try and break her shell. They all laughed at her insides, like she turned in to a bug over night. Metamorphosis turned her into a plague, a self deprecating sharade. One day when she was older she played. Russian-rulet with pills that taste like mase. She messaged all her friends and told them how she felt. then she swallowed and slowly turned her face. If i go now ill be okay.

she lied there for an hour or do then realised what she'd done. She just walked it off and realised her mum had wanted her to come. So after telling her only friend, of what she had done. She tried to eat but she had to push it aside. then she put her jeans on and took as walk to see. That night she found out her friend had told her mother. They drove that night to the hospital and her mother didnt stop swearing. Unexpected was when she started bursting out crying. 'i dont want you to die your killing me'

Im sorry for how i am just last night i thought you were lying. The man living in my house and the little one in my head and all the look a likes here tell. They told me i wasnt worth loving a pointless empty shell. They left me on the outside and watched my life from a glass cell. She realised how her mother felt then felt great sadness inside. i stick around for my mum now, no way ill put her through hell. The more she thinks about this, she realises how she felt. This is what i looked like and now i have to live. Now she puts up letters to her self written on her wall to say she never gave in. Mum i love you so much your the one im around for. Everytime i went through hell you gave me love without knowing i was done for. I want you to be happy, id sacrifice my soul. Im sorry for all the shit, im glad your leaving and im sad to stay. Dont forget me please, but ive cut you loose and i reallly hope you fly away. Dont you dare get down life is aloof. Im sorry i cant come.


 

Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
Don't expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
Don't ever ask your love of me
Don't expect me to cry
Don't expect me to lie
Don't expect me to die for me
Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam
Sunbeams are never made like me
Don't expect me to cry,
For all the reasons you had to die
Don't ever ask your love of me
Don't expect me to cry
Don't expect me to lie
Don't expect me to die for me
Don't expect me to cry
Don't expect me to lie
Don't expect me to die for me

Jesus, don't want me for a sunbeam


© Copyright 2017 spud2. All rights reserved.

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