Mind Slave

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Thoughts & self doubts of a young girl who struggles to fit in with the crowd....

Submitted: August 20, 2017

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Submitted: August 20, 2017

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Do you understand what it feels like to be a misunderstood girl? A girl who is often overlooked? Is she not just like you? What's different about her? Let me tell you nothing is different but she doesn't see it. When she looks in the mirror all she sees is failure do you think she needs anyone else to bring her down. Your silly comments are just that to you but another reason for her wanting to end it all. She's not brave or strong you may say but she is merely hanging by a thread struggling to keep it together. She's underwater and you're keeping her down not letting her come up for air...But who is this girl? Where is she? This girl is inside all of us and we are our own bullies, we criticize ourselves the most for being too skinny, too fat, too dark, not being pretty enough and the list goes on it's our own fears and insecurities keeping us back that hand that keeps pushing us down....

Nobody understands or gets her is she really that different? Sometimes she feels trapped, stranded to be precise....She's left with all these thoughts running around crazily inside her head driving her absolutely insane...Her mind feels like one of a mental patient and there's no escape from it as she is surrounded by barb wires, she's stuck in her own mind and left to be suffocated by her own thoughts....The urge to escape has only gotten stronger as her mind becomes a dark wonderland....In there she sees all the monsters coming to get her but not a single one under her bed...She often has to question herself and has to keep telling herself that she's not crazy..She prays to get better as she convinces herself that she's just sick...Her happy place is a tiny dim lit corner in there and to get there is somewhat of a struggle having to fight off all the doubts, insecurities & fear but when she gets there she sees a glowing girl full of hope she's around the age of 8 she's smiling at her for a minute and then runs off to go play...She just stands there silently as all her words are stuck in her head and she's just staring into her mirror of life when suddenly she sees the little girl appear again but this time she's reaching out to her gently placing her tiny hand on her heart and she whispers to her "I feel your heartbeat, you're very much alive" An overwhelming warmth emerges from her innocence and she's happy for a second  but then she feels her heart crushing as the little girl hand leaves her chest. She feels so alone like it's just her against the world....This girl is me and my hope is my younger innocent self......

 


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