Uncle Gargoyle's Happy Circus

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Another possible new job post-presidency

Submitted: August 21, 2017

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Submitted: August 21, 2017



"You wanted to see me, Garg?"


"That's MR. Garg to you; yeah, come in, Donny; would you like a drink?"


"No thanks, people already assume I'm drunk, because of my out-there ideas, and my reputation for incoherent ranting tweets at 3 in the morning."


"Well, they'll be no tweeting here, both because I'd forbid it as a waste of valuable time, and because we don't have a computer." "And, suit yourself about that drink; I'll get right to the point, then, as the newest hire here at the circus, I'll have to use you; The Flying Walltoast called in sick, and we can't let the people down."


"I'm not sure what The Flying, what did you call him, The Flying Walltoast, does, exactly, warm up the people with a few jokes, 'cause I've been working on one, 'What do you call anyone who didn't vote for me? The enemy, who I'll destroy with ridicule; who-wa!'


'Is this the part where I laugh, hyena-like? No, The Flying Walltoast gets shot out of a cannon, and he got his name because of one unfortunate mishap; but after months of painful rehab, you could barely even tell something went wrong; other than a chronic veering to the left when he walks."


"Whoa, hold the train, conductor, I didn't sign up for this."


"They'll be extra pay, you know, in the unlikely event something goes wrong."


"I don't like it, can't I get a deferment? Worked for Vietnam."


"Why, you chicken-shit!"


"Hey I'm alive, aren't I? And nobody calls me a chicken-shit--screw you!"


"Look, I don't know why you're being such a chicken-shit, your hair is so stiff, you can use it as a wind break, to slow your uncontrolled plummet to the ground!"


"THIS IS MY REAL HAIR, ASSHOLE! Go ahead, pull on it!"


'Well, if it's your real hair, your judgment is f****d, why would you CHOOSE to have it look deformed that way?"


"That's it, Uncle Goiter--"


'What are you going to do about it, Don-Boy? If you want to, let's rumble!"


"I'll--err--you'll be hearing from my lawyers!"


"You mean like the multiple-times you threatened to sue during the campaign for the Republican nomination and did nothing, because you're a chicken-shit? Get your useless ass out of here, as you used to delight in saying, 'you're fired!' Clear out!"













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