The Never Changing Outcome Of All Things

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
taken from my book, "Must You Find Out?"

Submitted: August 28, 2017

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Submitted: August 28, 2017

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The Never Changing Outcome Of All Things

-

A long way home from Hell

Thee intertwinings serve me well

I cannot go back to the dried up wishing well

Because it's worthlessly empty now

So I am no longer coming back around

Thee uneasiness is unpleasing to my stomach

But I still roll out of bed and say "fuck it"

It's always time to live life

Every day and every night

Saying "so what?" to every "goodbye"

I let go of what I need to

And keep truckin' on

I feel the void take over

But life goes on

Spiraling out of control

Recklessly aimless in despair

Desperate for change

And seeing no way

For that change to take place

Being in so much pain

That you can see it all over my face

With no luck of being able

To accept my misfortune

And not make me even more disabled

Taking the "will to live" away from me

And replacing it with "fear of living"

The way I ought to be living

And just staying in my mess

With the tainting of destruction

Overspilling all over the place

Damaging everywhere I go

No freedom from life's torture

Just a battle of not going on any further

When the dawning of uneasiness

Eats me in the back of my head

I refuse to make a move on any one

To save my life from myself

As I get taken under the current

Of psychological ruin

Ran over by every woman

With their hatred

And their lak of involvement

Spinning around my ability

To pay attention to such a misfortune

With even the "bright side" of things

Being so depressing and uncomfortable

That life just hurts to live

Tired of it all ending up this way

With every one I meet

How can I not be cynical

When these types of things

Just continues to refuse

To not happen to me?

Thee energy of disliking it all

Only feeds my resentment

And fuels the fire

For a desire for vengeance

Wanting to kill

More often than ever

But never being able to

And repeating "whatever" over and over

Until I can no longer take it anymore

Which who knows will be when?

"When will too much be too much

And I can no longer take this fucked-up-ness?"

An answer I have not heard

As the wheels of life spin around

Profoundly insane

Thee unbearable living never ends

And why should it end?

I haven't earned a better way to live

So this is just how it is

A misery I can't escape from

Is and will always be

Thee inevitable outcome of me

Just being myself

In a world that doesn't even want me

To be around

I cannot laugh at it all

Because it's not even funny

But I will fester my anger

Because that's unavoidable

When I want nothing more

Than to reverse all the bullshit

That life gives to me

All the peoples' attempts to destroy me

I want them all to suffer

For trying to get me to self-destruct

And walking all over me

Turning me into nothing

And making me their trash

Throwing me out of society

For forever more

Due to my cynicism

Creating this cycle

Of hating them

Because of them hating me

For me hating them

And them hating me

Because I hate them hating me

And it will not ever end

Because they just will not stop

So can can I stop?

I will never be free

From this kind of life

Only bound to be in this Hell forever

I can't see it any other way

-

08-25-'17 #2

D. L. Cannon


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