Let There Be Light

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is the third, and (probably) final old writing prompt of mine that I could find - "What if the entire universe randomly 'loaded' at once?". This one is probably one of my favorites, I think.

Submitted: August 29, 2017

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Submitted: August 29, 2017



"Wow. Are you fucking kidding me?" God exclaimed as he drank yet another Mountain Dew Deluxe can, staring at a frozen monitor that read "Universe Download - 1%".

"I knew I shouldn't have bought this fucking game," he said, stroking his white neckbeard in frustration.

"MARY!" He shouted at his wife, who was in the next room. "Get me the fucking phone. I need to talk to technical support. And get me another damn Mountain Dew, while you're at it!"

Mary, sighing, grabbed the phone and placed it in his hand for the umpteenth time, without saying a word to God. He'd been staring at that damn computer screen for hours and she was sick of it.

God stabbed the number for the tech support line angrily with his fat fingers. After about five rings, the line picked up.

"Hello, this is the Universe Inc. troubleshooting help line. My name is Daniel, I understand you are having problems with your game?"

"You're fucking right I'm having problems, Daniel. I've done everything, uninstalled and reinstalled the game, restarted my computer, everything I can think of. The download process just never gets past the 1% mark. The only thing I can interact with is this giant ball of lava called the 'Earth'."

"Hm," mused Daniel. "Don't worry, I think we've had this problem before. It's quite rare, though."

"I don't care," replied God. "I just want to play this goddamn game."

Mary suddenly and silently swooped by with God's requested Mountain Dew, still giving her husband the silent treatment.

"I understand sir," said Daniel evenly. "I think you may just have low server bandwidth where you are. I can try to connect you with another, faster server over HeavenNet, if you want."

"That'd be great, Daniel," said God, relief flooding in his voice. "This won't take long, right?"

"No time at all, sir," said Daniel. "If I could just get your game code?"

God read off his game code from the install menu, and, minutes later, a password text box appeared on the screen.

"Now it says I have to enter in a password? What's this?" Demanded God. "Why are there so many steps to this?"

"Please be patient, sir - The password is -"

"You don't tell me what to fucking do, Daniel. I'm the customer here. Now what's the password?"

Daniel took a deep breath before replying. "If you could just let me finish my sentence, sir. The password is actually voice-activated. It's 'let there be light.'"

"Wait..." Said God, confused. "The password is actually 'let there be light'? And I have to say that out loud?"

"Yes sir," replied Daniel. "It's the newest technology."

"Well, okay then." And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.

The monitor suddenly flashed with the lights of a trillion stars. God put his hand on the computer mouse and realized he could finally interact with everything.

"Wow, Daniel, I think I'm in. Thanks, bud," said God.

"That's great!" Replied Daniel happily. "Is there anything else I can help you with today? Do you need to know how the game works?"

"Nah, Daniel, I think I'll figure it out for myself, thanks. Bye."


God decided to start off his new game by playing around with this curious ball of lava called Earth. He cooled it down with a few elements he found appealing: sulfur, phosphorous, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon, hydrogen, and a few other things. After all this was added, the "Add Lifeform" option became available, startling him.

After thinking for a minute, he added two lifeforms, a male and a female. He decided to name them Adam and Eve, respectively. Unsurprisingly, their AI was spot-on.

This was going to be the most amazing game God had ever played, and he knew it.


© Copyright 2017 Waylon Moosberger. All rights reserved.

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