But He Loved Him

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Can love overcome anything?

Submitted: September 06, 2017

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Submitted: September 06, 2017




But He Loved Him



“Are you ready to go!?” Pop calls from downstairs.


Before we get into the car, he hugs me again and says, “I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of you, son.”

Today, will be my first day preaching. My sermon is titled, “What is Love?” Pop helped me find the verses, develop the idea, and listened to the countless times that I rehearsed it.

You see, Pop is the Reverend of our small Seventh Day Adventist church. “Pure in Jesus”, he named it. And below the title reads the slogan, “Cleansing the Spirit with the Word”. He invested all the money in his checking and savings account, which wasn’t much, and took out several loans, to build the church from the ground up, and now, after 15 years, he was finally breaking even.

I feel confident and prepared to deliver my first sermon. I just need a distraction from what happened last weekend.

I just need to stop thinking about Jamie.

I just need to pretend like the lake didn't happen.

I just need to believe that I’m still straight.

“Are you okay, son?” Pop asks me as we pull into the parking lot.

“Yeah, just nerves. Can I take a few minutes to go over the sermon before I head inside?”

“Yeah, sure thing. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’m right inside”.



But as soon as we step out of the car, I see him.


He walks silently, almost timidly next to his father, who sports a “Make America Great Again” hunting hat. I catch a glimpse of his piercing blue eyes for a moment, but I can tell from his body language, that he noticed me, but wish he hadn’t.


But I can't think about that now. I have ten minutes before I have to be in the church.


Pop goes inside and I notice Christina, or better yet “Tina”, outside making a call.

“Call me Tina, honey”. She'd always remind me. “When you call me ‘Miss’ or “Ma’am’ you make me feel old.”

Pop is in love with her but he's afraid to admit it. Whenever we’d suggest him taking her out he always had an excuse.

His favourite excuse was, “I’m forty years old. I'm too old to be going out on dates.

After her phone call, Tina approaches me.

“How do you feel, honey?”

“I feel pretty good. A bit nervous, to be honest, but I think it will go well. I've probably practiced over a hundred times.”

But it wasn’t the sermon that was making my heart race faster.

“I’m sure you'll be incredible. How was your week? How’s school going?”

“Pretty good. There’s been a lot on my mind this week ... You know ... With exams and papers ...”

And Jamie ...

“... And stuff. So, I’m just riding the wave. Trying to keep my head straight and make it to summer.”


“Hey son, you ready!?” Pop shouts from the second-floor window.

“Hey Tina!” he shouts. But his efforts to hide his happiness, eagerness, and nerves when seeing her fails.

“Hey! We’ll be right up!” Tina responds sweetly and turns to me.

“You'll be perfect,” she says.

Perfect ...

Perfect ...

Perfect ...

That word echoes in my head as I walk down the aisle and stand at the pulpit. The congregation believes it to be nerves, but that's not the case. I can't stop thinking about him.

Jamie ...


“If you would take out your Bible’s and turn to John 3:16 ...”


Last weekend began as any other. After church, I rode my bike to the lake. Jamie and I have been meeting there quite often the past few weeks. I didn't know how to swim, and Jamie works as a lifeguard during the summer. So, in exchange for helping him study for the finals, he was teaching me how to swim.

But that day felt different. I am not sure if it was the scorching heat, the sermon my dad had just delivered on temptation, or what, but I did not feel like myself.

After our lesson, Jamie and I sat at the edge of the lake and talked ...


“Love is about acceptance. Love is not tolerance. Love is seeing the very worst in someone. Love is forgiving actions that you once believed were unforgivable. Love is accepting someone fully, even when you do not understand their actions...”


“Have you ever felt different from everyone else”, Jamie asked me.

“I’m the ‘perfect’ son of the neighbourhood pastor. What do you think?”

He laughed. “No, but I mean like in a bad way. In a way that you have to hide it because no one will understand it. I bet you've never done a bad thing in your life.”

“Not like a really bad thing. When I eight, I stole a candy bar ... But then I told Pop and he made me go back and apologize.”

He laughed again. I’d spend all day telling all the stupid, corny jokes I know, just so I could hear that beautiful laugh, see that glistening smile, and be mesmerised by those ocean blue eyes ...

“I dare you to go skinny dipping.”


“Love doesn't require answers because it has faith. Love can sacrifice. Love expects nothing in return. And the measure of one’s love must be immeasurable. And what greater love is there than the love of Jesus Christ ...


It must have been the weather. The scorching sun must have fried my brain. But I did it. I took off my shorts and ran into the clear, cool water. But I didn't expect Jamie to run after me. But I'm also really happy he did.

He grabbed my hands and came really close ...

And I knew it was

What I wanted most

So, I let him.

Cleanse me of fear

Not worried who discovers

Just as long as we had each other

And though I knew

I was committing a sin

I was intoxicated by

His love like gin

And I know I should leave ...


“And those who misunderstand love

Please grab your pen

Because God’s sacrifice of Jesus

Shows not that he hated ...”


But he loved him.


From the book, “Black in Berlin”.

Will be available on Kindle soon.

In the meantime, check out the other books.

Link : http://amzn.to/2j3dtKk


© Copyright 2019 K.S. Fort. All rights reserved.

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