A Life of Sickness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic


Finding out you are sick is horrible. Being sick your whole life and finding out that your normal wasn't others, that indescribable.



Warning, mentions of suicide.

Submitted: September 15, 2017

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Submitted: September 15, 2017

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All my life i have been sick,

God i wish i could say things surprise me,

But they don't.

 

I wish,

 

I still had the hope i lost at ten,

That i didn't learn i was stuck with this at 12,

That i didn't dread every doctor’s appointment.

 

I wish,

And i wish,

But that isn't going to change anything.

 

My heart broke,

 

As i found out this wasn't normal for other kids,

That i couldn’t do things like other kids,

That i got another illness.

 

My heart broke,

It keeps breaking,

And i’m tired of picking up the pieces.

 

My doctors tell me,

 

To be patient,

I want to scream,

Tell them to go fuck themselves,

 

My doctors tell me,

They always tell things,

But they never listen to me.

 

I have given up wishing,

Because every time it doesn't come true,

My hope goes away.

 

I try stop my heart from breaking,

Because every time the pieces cut at me,

Killing my heart.

I stop being patient and polite,

Because every time i was shouted down,

I was suffocating.

 

I want to live,

But how do you live,

When you wish to die.

 


© Copyright 2017 Jacob Ian Allen. All rights reserved.

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