My Life (version 2)

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


I felt invisible most of my childhood. I was the child that nobody saw and could have disappeared and not be missed.

Chapter 1 (v.2) - My early life

Submitted: September 27, 2017

Reads: 254

Comments: 3

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Submitted: September 27, 2017

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I sit on the bed in a fleabag motel in the middle of nowhere writing this on my laptop.  I have a story to tell and some may not believe it, which is fine with me.  When it is over when the final chapter is written, probably by somebody else, the truth will be known.  Let me start by introducing myself, I’m Anna, my friends call me Gypsy Rose.

I was the only child of wealthy parents.  They both had careers that they enjoyed and the reason they had me is still a mystery after all these years.  I have seen my baby pictures and I was a plump baby and growing up I didn’t lose that baby fat, just added to it.  You would think a girl as big as I was would be noticed, but that is the thing I wasn’t, people seemed to not see me at all.  My childhood up until I became a sophomore in high school was like the episode of Buffy with the invisible girl.

I was eight the first time I truly remember them forgetting about me.  It was a Saturday and I was in my room reading when my parents decided to go out to the country club for dinner.  They get all dressed and left without saying goodbye; I didn’t even have a sitter.  My mom later laughed and said she had just forgotten I was there.  It was like it was no big deal to her.  I guess it was around ten o’clock when hunger finally brought me downstairs to find the house empty.  I was in a panic, but I didn’t know who to call.  I ended up curling up under the kitchen table and crying myself to sleep.  I was found in the morning as they sat down for breakfast.  Worse yet there were only places set for them as if I didn’t exist.  That is the first time I clearly remember them just leaving me as if I didn’t exist, but I have vague memories of times before that and vivid memories of a lot of times after that.

They weren’t the only ones to forget about me and leave me.  When I was in the fourth grade we went on a field trip to a farm.  I loved horses and stood by their corral watching them as the other kids were shown other animals.  When it was time to go the teacher completely forgot me and left.  I saw the bus pulling out, but I didn’t think they were leaving only moving it so I continue to watch the horses.  It was an hour later that the farmer came by and noticed me.  I laugh about it now, but at the time I was so upset.  The other kids made fun of me and the teacher didn’t even stop them.

My parents had an excuse even if they never said it to my face.  I wasn’t the daughter they wanted.  All their country club friends had skinny daughters that ended up on cheerleading squads on some such.  I used to see them in the bathroom after lunch sticking their finger down their throats to throw up and keep their perfect figures.  I tried that once, but I couldn’t make myself puke no matter how hard I tried.

But everybody else ignored me also made me feel invisible, well everybody but my grandmother.  She loved me and would always take time to talk to me.  When I was feeling down she would cheer me up.  When I got upset because my parents had left me somewhere or my teachers forgot my name or the other kids would pick on me she was there to make me feel better until the summer before I started high school.  She died in her sleep.  It was a Wednesday when my mom got the call.  She just dropped the phone and began to cry.  Even after all the times I got the feeling she didn’t love or even care about me I still wanted to make her feel better.  I went to hug her, but she pushed pass me, not seeing me as usual and went to my father.  While sobbing she told him her mother was dead.  I was devastated, but when I started to cry they told me to go to my room.

Her funeral was a week later, my parents didn’t even tell me.  I overheard them talking and that is the only reason I knew.  I made sure I got up and was ready before them.  I wanted to say goodbye to my grandmother, but I knew they would leave me home like normal so I made sure I was ready and in the car when they left.

When school started I was still feeling the loss of my grandmother so I went to see the school counselor.  That first time was awkward to say the least.  She asked a bunch of questions I felt uncomfortable answering and we barely touched on my grandmother’s death.  She told me I should come back in a few days for another session.  When I went back she thought I was another girl and started to explain to me how hard it was going to be to attend school while pregnant.  I stopped her and told her who I was and she couldn’t find any notes about our first session.  I didn’t go back.

I should tell you it was a private school so there weren’t as many students that attend public school, but the social groups still existed and I didn’t fit into any of them.  I found myself in the back of the class again being ignored by the teachers and the other students.  Gym class was the only time I got noticed and it wasn’t in a good way.  I had been made fun of before, but when you must undress completely and shower a whole new level of pettiness comes out.  I spend a week dealing with this then I begged my parents to find a way to get me out of the gym.  My dad being a Doctor wrote me a note and I didn’t have to dress for gym class again.

I had no friends and could have probably just stayed home and nobody would have noticed.  I would raise my hand and they teacher would ignore it.  A few times I thought about asking why, but by then the other kids had moved on to torment somebody else and I didn’t want to draw the attention to myself.

I did have friends just not any I could go to the mall with or hang out with.  I had gotten into computers and I would spend hours in chat rooms.  I could be anybody and look like anything when I was online so that was my life.  During the school year I would only spend a few hours online, but when summer started I would spend hours in my room chatting.

With the start of my sophomore year that all changed.  The change was mainly due to Mr. Donaldson, but now that I think about it part of it was a report I did for social studies also.


© Copyright 2018 Gypsy Rose. All rights reserved.

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