Goodbye letter

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Thrillers  |  House: Booksie Classic

Forever, sis!

Submitted: September 28, 2017

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Submitted: September 28, 2017



Dear stranger,

Let me start with the beginning. My name is Lyn. I have an amazing twin sister, Parker. We grew up in Cedar Fort, a small town in Utah.

Our relationship was pretty special, we were inseparable. We even had our little ritual. Every night, before going to bed, we just hold hands and told each other good night and our two words: „Forever, sis.”

On our birthdays, mom and dad always organized the most beautiful parties. On a particular birthday, our 10th anniversary, right before mom came with the cake, Parker grabbed my hand and pushed me in the closet and told me: „Sis, we have to make a deal. When we're 28 years old, if we're not happy, we will both kill each other. No excuses, no suffering, if we're not happy, we will die together”. I looked at her scared, but with some admiration for thinking about it. Since our relationship was so special, at that moment I saw no other solution and told her our two little words so we could seal the deal: „Forever, sis.”

But things started to change in a few years. After our 14th birthday, dad died in a car accident. My mother decided to move to our grandmother in Brooklyn. I was devastated. Our life as we know it was over. Dad was gone, mom was always depressed and slept from the pills, and besides that, we moved to a new, big, frightening city. Parker was all I had left. My only support.

We started high school and obviously it was a bad time at first. The kids were mean, they made fun of us because we came from Utah, calling us peasants. I did not mind these things, I knew the kids were bad at this age, immature. But Parker did not see things the same way.

But soon, my life had become more and more beautiful. After a few months, I started to become popular and around the prom, I was even nominated for Prom Queen. I had a relationship with a guy in my science class and had the most wonderful friends. My mother gave up her pills, she was more active and I loved to hear her laugh again.

And just like that, my relationship with Parker began to deteriorate. She did not want to sleep with me anymore, she was always in her room and ignored all of us at home. One night I heard footsteps on the stairs. I got up, and it was Parker, sneaking out of the house. I grabbed her hand and asked her where she was going. She looked at me with the darkest look and told me it was not my bussiness and that I should take care of my perfect life.

Years have passed and the time has come to go to college. My mother and grandmother organized a beautiful departure party with my classmates. Because of her low grades, Parker has not entered any college, so you can imagine she was not too happy to sit at my farewell party. When it was time to go, I hugged all of them and my sister's turn came. I took her in my arms, smell her hair and told her that she will be very missed and she could visit me whenever she wanted. She did not even put her arms around me, waited for me to finish and then went to her room. That was the last time I saw her. Until now.

It's my 27th anniversary. I stand in front of the cake and think how lucky I can be. I have a wonderful husband, a growing career and two loving cats. Just when I was ready to blow the candles, someone knocks on the door. I opened it and remained amazed. There she was.
But it wasn't really her, not my beautiful sister I knew. Instead there it was a sad person in whose eyes you could see the darkness.

„Happy birthday, Lyn!”, she told me. Her voice, however, remained the way I knew her.

„Happy birthday, Parker! Come in.” We sat down on the couch and I looked at her for 10 minutes without saying anything to her. I was confused. Then, my husband broke the silence and said he would go in our room to let us recover the lost time.

„How are you, Parker? You disappeared suddenly. You left our mother's home after I went to college and nobody knew about you, what did you do all these years?”

„I've lived. That's all. I see you're doing well.”

„If you came here to be mean with me, please think better. You can not come here after so many years and tell me you just lived”

She ignored what I said and changed the subject:

„There's only one more year, sis.”

„One more year until what?”

„Until we kill ourselves, Lyn”

I laughed and told her: „You can not be serious, Parker. We were kids, we made a fun pact, we were playing.”

She had begun to be nervous.

„We did not play, we both made the promise that if we were not happy, we commit suicide at age 28. We validated the deal with our special words.”

Seeing it is very serious, I tried to explain it logically.

„Parker..I have a beautiful life. I can not commit suicide. As you said, if both of us are not happy, we suicide at age 28, but I am happy.”

„But that was the only thing that kept me going so far”, she said.

I looked at her full of sadness and compassion. What happened to my great sister? She was jolly, full of life and we were so close.

„Sis, it's gonna be better, you'll see. Why don't you try to visit us more often, to spend more time with us? You'll love Mark, he's a good man. I can talk to him for you to move with us, if you want.”

„All i wanted was for you to keep your word, Lyn. I do not want your mercy, I want you to hold on to your promise.”

„You talk like a crazy person now, Parker. I'm happy. Subject closed.”

And then she got up from the couch and left without saying a word. The next few days I could not get out of bed, I cried like a little baby, but I started to come back with Mark's help and my life was back on the right path.

My happiness did not last long. The first incident was related to my work. I was accused of sexual harassment. Several people have filed complaints against me saying that I always make jokes with sexual meaning, touch them in intimate spots and do not miss an oportunity to „compliment” them in a sexual way. I told my boss that he knew me and knew that I would not do that, but being a collective complaint, he had no choice but fire me.

Mark tried to be supportive with me, but I could see in his eyes how he started to doubt me, to believe everything they said in the office about me.

The second incident happened one night. I woke up to drink some water when I felt cold wind. I looked and saw the door open. After I closed it, I realized that maybe someone broke into our house and went to wake up Mark. On the way to the bedroom, I slipped and fell into something wet. I thought the cats have knocked the glass of water, but when I lit the lamp, I started screaming. There were my cats, both of them with their stomachs and paws cut.

After that, I started to go crazy. I was constantly crying, I was drinking very much and arguing with Mark seriously, I even threw plates at him. The poor man couldn't resist living with me anymore, he left and filed the divorce papers.

All this happened within a year. I was approaching my 28th birthday and immediately thought of Parker, my brilliant sister and how I spoke to her badly because she was unhappy and I was not.
Now, this anniversary is not as joyous as the last one. I don't have a cake, I don't have Mark, I have nothing else. I am alone on the couch, in the dark. Somebody knocks on the door. I actually ran to it, hoping it was who I thought. And there she was. Again. We looked at each other for a few seconds and understood what we had to do.

We decided to take pills, to be an easy and uncomplicated method. If we take two packs of sleeping pills we will certainly die in peace. We took them and i told her I wanted to go write a letter.

I searched through my sister's bag for a pen and found copies of the complaints from my office and even my cats collars. It seems that I was not alone in this difficult time, my sister was with me, watched me, suffered with me.

While I'm writing to you, Parker came to me and she finally smiles.

„Forever, sis?”

„Forever, sis.”


© Copyright 2018 Lexi Carstea. All rights reserved.

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